From Encyclopedia Dramatica
(→Trolling An Azn)
|Line 240:||Line 240:|
[[Image:Can.JPG|thumb|Can YOU tell the difference?]]
[[Image:Can.JPG|thumb|Can YOU tell the difference?]]
[[Image:Asian_quiz.jpg|thumb|what about NOW?]]
[[Image:Asian_quiz.jpg|thumb|what about NOW?]]
[[Image:Asianvsblacks.jpg|thumb|Even Asians hate
[[Image:Asianvsblacks.jpg|thumb|Even Asians hate ]]
* [[Angry Asian man]]
* [[Angry Asian man]]
* [[very_proud_to_be_an_asian]] (See [[Japanese Anime:1]])
* [[very_proud_to_be_an_asian]] (See [[Japanese Anime:1]])
Revision as of 20:05, 14 May 2012
Azns are young, try-hard Asians striving as hard as they fucking can to escape their cultural and genetic heritage. Azn's are massively "pRoUd" of being Asian - which is why they mimic the culture of others like blacks and whites. This can be seen in their anime where almost every single character is blond-haired, blue-eyed, and tall, or when they try to rap out their "azn pride".
Ultimately, this ends in epic fail and generates lots of lulz for Westerners to see. Azn's are the suburban Michael Jacksons of our time, deeply ill-at-ease with themselves, with many resorting to plastic surgery to upgrade (caucasiaplasty).
Many of you may have wondered why Azn eyes are so deliciously squinty. There are many theories on the matter, but only the top 2 have the originality to be list here. The first is that, many years ago there were 2 normal humans on the earth. One had a jew fro (this chick's name is Laquisha) and the other had greasy black hair (he was named Frank). Laquisha was quite fond of tanning, and it made her skin the color of santorum, and when Frank knocked her up, she gave birth to two sub-humans, the Nigger and the Guido. After that, Frank decided to tan with Laquisha. Unfortunately, the sun had an effect on Frank too. Frank was a dumb fuck (commonly known as a tourist) so he had to see everything there was to see about tanning. So Frank looks up at the sun and squints, because his pupils sting like a bitch. But then Laquisha's nigger-daughter (named Rasputia) socked Frank in the head and said (in self-riteous nigger speech), "Bro, you can't just stand there all day. You fuck buddies with mommy now! And 'da queen wants to gets her lovin on." But since Rasputia is a Nigger, which means she's fat and flabby, but also muscular, she hit that poor bastard Frank a little too hard, and his eyes were stuck that way. Forever. And, the next winter, when Laquisha's tan had finally faded into yellow, her and Frank's condom broke, and Laquisha was once again pregnant. And this time she only had one monster/sub-human. The Azn. So that is the first, ever popular theory. The second is that Azn's have nothing in their coal black eyes but cruelty, and slitted eyes allow them to hide this monstrosity, and allowing YOU to have an Azn fetish.
The disease known as 'Azn' was brought to public attention the early 2000s with some gay rap song about Buddha.
Some Asian-American teenagers claimed to be "proud" of their heritage (instant lulz, because their heritage is in no way their achievement), which basically consists of watching lots of anime (see Otaku), whining and bitching all the time about "crackas", listening to nigger music, and eating with chopsticks to "look cultured".
Ashamed of themselves, the Azn will mimic what they consider to be the racial polar-opposite of what an Asian is. So, the Azn will pretend to be a nigger. This Asian-mimicry is facilitated by watching MTV rap videos but never actually talking to black people.
In fact, as "American-ized" as they are, Azns by and large never actually interact with anyone else other than fellow Azns. This is why you often see them roaming malls in gangs of four or more, acting "gangsta" (in the case of the males), or giggling their heads off (usually over over-priced stationery, in the case of the females).
Azn "Pryde" also manifests itself in speaking in tongues, typically an incomprehensible stew of Engrish and whatever language they spoke back home. Most AzNs sound like this: (lol shut down), and they should probably just shut the fuck up.
Many American and Canadian AzNs pride themselves on speaking both English and their native tongue, but none of them have ever read a book in any language, including simple pictograms. It is not unfair to assume that they cannot read anything longer than acronyms such as BMW and TNA, which their parents buy them every day because they were born as gay fags.
Azn goes spaz when he was not accepted for a burping contest.
This azn wants to find out why he can't get a girl.
It is delicious eyeball. You must eat it!
Facts about Aznz
- Asian porn makers like to take advantage of the fact that their women have extremely small breasts by making mostly infantile paraphilia pron.
- Asians have retarded eyes.
- All male Azn's are martial arts experts, with no exception, having gained the secrets from grand master Chong at the Dojo. They are all masters of Wu Shu, Cum fu, Kung Fu, TaeKwonDo, Karate, or all of the above, and could kick any honkey's arse if they can gang up on her/him. Providing they didn't leave their hammer at home, and that you do NOT mention their penis size. The only known defense is to take away their 20/200 prescription coke-bottle glasses, which renders them disoriented.
- Azns are easily spotted on the tubes for one very simple reason. All azn usernames will contain some fucktarded reference to their race. For example: VietBboi325, AzNThuG4real, AtJap13 (real faggot), CHINApwr23, S3xyFlipGrl201. Oddly enough more realistic references like NukeburnedNip, ComfortWomenChink and DogboilingGook22 go unused.
- Azns are extremely good at maths. Because of this, they score atleast 2,400 on the SAT and get into MIT's Engineering school. This fucking kills everyone else's grades, except for those of the Jew, who use their evil Jew powers and Jewish IQs to plot the downfall of human civilization on a daily basis. It's a well known fact that Azns are made up of prime numbers, general tso's chikins and rice.
- Azns tend to stay in packs, and sometimes they even live together in pagoda-like structures they call A Pah Mence. They usually do not feel comfortable living in places where you hear their native moonspeak everywhere. Examples include Bellaire High School, where the student population is overwhelmed with chinks, and their average GPA offsets the niggas and mexicans negative GPAs.
- Aznz favorite nonalcoholic beverage is bubble tea, similar to flavored ice tea with large black gelatin / tapioca "pearls" or "bubbles" that have the appetizing texture of drying out eyeballs. Much laughter will ensue among Azn's if a non-Azn gets a bubble caught in their windpipe.
- If you mistake one kind of chink for another (i.e. nips, etc), drama ensues. PROTIP Make sure, after offended, you ask just what kind of chink they are
Recent observations and studies of this species have concluded that t3h Azns love to use these emoticon things: ^_^ ^^ ^^; :3 ;D >_< >:O Beware. If you come in contact with someone on the internets using these emoticon things, they're most likely Azn. RUNZ0RZ!Unfortunately, this is no longer the case. Every weeaboo, 16 year old girl, 13 year old boy, and general fuckwit uses these, however, if you do encounter emoticons, its still advised you should log off immediately, and delete System32.
- Because Azns are super conscious about their "public image", they love to edit this page repeatedly and trying to reinforce "positive stereotypes" about azns.
- Could possibly be from another planet, although if you mention this you'll be sure to hear cries of "Racism" (Spacism?).
- Have an bizarre Fetish with noses, particularly those of other races.
- Azns are so high-tech that they're forgetting how to write their own fucking language with a pen and paper.
AZNS being niggers
Azn being try-hard posers
A bunch of fucking nammers representing from the mean streets of Toronto, Canada decided to imitate (Asian mimicry) 50 cent's G Unit, hilariously calling themselves V Unit. Please notice their hardcore driving 5 honda civics without passing the speed limit of 60km. Pay direct attention to the paintball gun being pointed at the niggers at the end.
typical azn lipsync to Vitas
How to spot an Azn
Not as annoying as the female counterpart but is still worthy of deserving a kick to the balls if spotted:
- A small bump where the penis should be, that is their penis.
- Feminine body, with no body hair at all.
- Annoying pop or hiphop ringtone.
- Wearing socks with slippers.
- Hilarious attempt at a mustache.
- Sometimes stuff their underpants with a tootsie roll to make their penis look (at least) 4 times larger.
- Often seen wearing the ever popular "Got Rice?" t-shirt.
- Thick black winter jacket (usually North Face) worn in summertime to disguise his Gollum-esque body.
- Has posed for a group portrait at Glamor Shots with other AZN boys in matching nigga outfits (that often include fedoras), displaying gangsta hand signals.
- Good as footstools, as they are usually under 3 feet tall
- Horrible, horrible acne. They could be classified as new planets and moons. Unfortunately, azns aren't celestial bodies, they're ppls just like you and me
- Armpits have a sour smell (can be sensed for up to 1000 feet away).
- Hair is dyed a color other than black, usually red, or invisible
- Hair is usually cut short and the top is spiked with dolphin jizz, and sometimes they are bald, to show how "hood" they are. Also see retarded and faggot.
- Likes to raid American MMO's with botting and gold farmers.
- They usually desire twinkies. "You are what you eat".
- If older than 40, they will definitely own all of your local convenience stores.
- Plays lots of Starcraft and Warcraft III.
- If a hardcore azn, will love beating off to Neon Genesis Evangelion.
- Has a screen name with a relation to the show Naruto, also usually contains a derivative of "AZN".
- Claims to be "in da hood, black person" (thus making them even more pathetic than wiggers).
- Has never been to da hood, and does not know where it is.
- On top of not knowing where da hood is, some don't even know the general directions to their homes because they have no sense of direction
- Most likely are Internet tough guys (usually to compensate for a stale eggroll).
- Riced out car. Usually painted an eye-gouging yellow to reflect his heritage.
- Has an exhaustive collection of X-Box, Nintendo, and Playstation games. Usually the latter.
- Believes that the Western media world is 'against them' image-wise, and that it should portray Asian male characters as being 'cool' (eg, not actually Asian)
- Has a penis.
- Has an "Everyone Loves an Asian Girl" shirt.
- Annoying Pop or Hip-Hop ringtone.
- Has the hoop earrings and drawn-on eyebrows of a Mexican whore.
- Has hardcore eyelid plastic surgery or rhinoplasty
- Wears contacts of unnatural colors to appear less Asian.
- Wears TNA or LuluLemon yoga outfits to make her look like she actually has an ass. Also known as false advertising.
- Bad snaggletooth. Any azn girl with decent teeth is uncalled for.
- Have sideways hairy vagina. Sometimes with teeth.
- Claim to be the most feminine of the females races but actually has no curves, no tits and no asses.
- If on the Internets, she will be a camwhore.
- Will always be seen with White Men(Sometimes they'll go with the black man)
- Answers "eating" when asked about favorite hobby.
- Listens to
Linkin Parkevery pop artist and gay bands.
- Some spend endless hours on the japionese mini photo print-club machine and do lots of amateurish camwhore poses.
- Somewhat batshit insane.
- Stays thin via bulimia ("twice the taste, none of the calories").
- Has experience working as a "model" at a HIN show.
- Overreacting (not as bad as emofags that overreact more.)
- Often seen with ricer boyfriends, whom they drain of money like the gold-digging leeches they are.
- Actually makes the stereotypical "Valley-Girl Blonde" look smart by comparison.
- Posing on loli sites or working with Dateline NBC "to catch a predator" because they have the body of a 13_year_old_boy
- Has a Xanga page with journal colors that will blind anyone with non-slanty eyes to ensure an AzNs-only privacy level.
- Steals white, nerdy guys from their fat nerdy girlfriends. Then treats them like crap.
The Dangers of the Asian Penis
Azns are crazy anyway, but if you mention their miniscule penis size, you are gambling with your life. If you want to survive a conversation involving Azn dicks, listen up.
- Remain calm! Go about the conversation in a slow, chill manner, so to not provoke the Azn into doing something you and it will regret.
- After you have mentioned their tiny wangas, there is no going back. If you try to steer the conversation else where or end it, the Azn will have all the info it needs. You see, Azns predict if you will be an easy to kill coward by if you continue or stop. Stopping, obviously, will merit the Azns to kill you easily. Because of this, it is your best interest to continue making fun of his penis size. Again and again.
- After more provoking, the Azn will probably succumb into a fit of rage. No amount of bullets will stop the beast. Your only weapon is to whip out your schlong. The Azn will immediately forget all it was doing and will congratulate you on such a nice dick. Then it will go back on its way to whatever it was doing. (WARNING: If Azn is ghey, you will most likely have sex with it)
- CONGRATULATIONS! You have survived an Azn encounter. Be more careful next time!
Where can I find those..."Azns"?
Azns are usually hanging out with the other azns at their houses because all azns know each other, no exceptions(See Incest) talking about how much they hate the niggers and jews . If not at each others' houses ,They can be found at the mall in the arcade rooms spending all day playing DDR with their retarded friends.This makes a fierce and bitter rivalry between the Azns and the Mall Goths.
Since mall goths play DDR as much as Azns do,theres often territorial disputes between them resulting in massive lulz getting arrested by the mall cops so none of them will become an hero.Since azns love slurpees and drink too much coffee,they can be seen at Starbucks or any coffee shop sitting with their ricer boyfriends or white guys gold digging from them and buying crappucinos or any other shitty drink. Also downtown Toronto, which they have made their headquarters for their plot to take over the world by overpopulating each city one by one.
Trolling An Azn
- Make sure to carry a gun when trolling IRL since all Azns are ninjas.
- OMG IT'S JACKIE CHAN!!!
- Assume all Azns are Chinese. (This will piss them off and make drama)
- If they are Chinese remind them of how the comfort women got raped by the Japs, for epic lulz
- Piss them off telling them "I'm glad those Japanese fuckers got nuked during WW2". This will only work if the Azn is of the Japanese subtype, as most of the rest of Asia hates Japan intensely.
- Tell them they look like retards - but at least retards have the strength to smash up coke machines.
- If they're cosplayers, say "America Does It Better".
- Remind them of their micropenis.
- Remind them of how they don't look like everyone else make reference to their flat faces or wide nose havin, breathin all the white mans air
- Leave Comments on AZN pages saying"BROWN PRIDE!!, "BLACK PRIDE" works fine as well.
- Since most Asian males and females die of loneliness as they are only accompanied by other Asians, it puts a bug up their ass when you ignore them especially if you're not Asian.
- Call them a TB ( Teeny Bopper ), especially offensive to those who ACTUALLY ARE. Extra extra effective to those posing on failbook photos, trying to look gangster and gain respect from their peers.
- Tell them they got small eyes. ( it's true )
- Tell them they're short (Mostly true)
- If they're an asian female tell them someone from a korean band sucks, e.g. DBSK SUCKS, SUPER JUNIOR SUCKS, SHINEE SUCKS ( may need more updated modern bands, since Asian social trends change very quickly ). However this is very effective especially to those die hard fans who know are NEVER going to end up with any of the band members, however they still save their virginity and devote their life, until one day they can let them pound the shit out of them.
1. Steal their failbook profile ( Create one with same name(CLOSE NUFF K), upload all their pics )
2. Add all their "friends" (other aznfags).
- A clear example of them is one here, Alan Ling (who got anal penetrated up the ass by the trolls of 4ch0n). As a very clear and frankly easy target to, since he whores himself out on failbook, his identity has been stolen mutiple times and used to stalk asian chicks on failbook. (WIN).
DOX Alan Ling
List of Azns
- Angry Asian man
- very_proud_to_be_an_asian (See Japanese Anime:1)
- Tila Tequila
- Sailor Moon
- Lena Chen
- William Hung
- The guy who started the Moonies.
- Cho Seung Hui
- Don Henrie
- User:Loi fung su chi
- Nick Chaleunphone
- Elson "Darkspeeds" Wong
- Angry Asian Man
- 16 year old Japanese schoolgirl
- 80 year old Chinese man in panties
- Kung Fu
- Asian fetish
- Single Asian Female a more serious take on:
- SAF comic (A comic about a stupid AZN bitch)
- I LIEK MILK
- Niggers - Even black guys want some of that yellow fever.
- Filipinos - The Mexican version of Azns.
- Native Americans - Distantly related to Azns, but usually are too poor and indigenous to be a "model minority". HAYO!
Swords: The Azn's arch-nemesis
The stupid fucking song some faggot ED editor thinks started it all, even though Azns have been around since the 80s and were seen in Nightmare on Elm Street. It doesn't get any more hard-core than this!
flame war has now started in comments section, contains several AZN lolcows
Trolling them is simple and recommended for easy lulz
|Rice Patties||About missing Pics|
Azn is related to a series on AZNS.