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Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
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This page is about an attempted an hero.

Charles Ziese is an overweight, greasy tranny, and Sonic the Hedgehog world champion, who gained lulzy notoriety in early 2015, after he was successfully doxed as a Janitor on 4chan's Pokémon-themed board, /vp/. He also failed on three separate occasions to become an hero.



So, with some practice, I completed a few speed runs and points runs in Sonic games. In fact three of my records were mentioned in the Guinness Book of World Records: Gamers Edition 2012, truly a positive shock since I was trying to prove stereotypes of people with autism to be absolutely false and make a wish of earning respect come true at last.


—Zeise, on Sonic and his high-functioning autism.

Blue streak, speeds by...

Ziese, despite being a Janitor for a Pokémon board, is a fan of something that's an even bigger autism magnet: Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes, as is the case for some of the Internet's most notorious losers, Ziese finds himself obsessed with Sonic's blue arms. When he's not watching the television shows, playing the mediocre games and posting about Sonic just about everywhere, he spends his time making sure /vp/ stays free of anything that would make a blue hair clutch her pearls.

Ziese's first game ever was Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and he later received the Sonic Mega Collection for his Christmas GameCube. Ziese decided that he was too slow to break any speed records himself, so he says he would break them through his childhood hero of Sonic. After much repetition, Ziese earned himself a mention in the 2012 Gamer's Edition of the Guinness World Records. It remains the apex of his life.

4chan and Asperger's

As detailed in a depressing 2012 article, Ziese is a proud aspie. Aside from the sad parts about wanting four legs as a child so he could run away faster from the countless kids that picked on him, it reveals how video games helped him cope with the reality of growing up different.

On January 27, 2015, Ziese was outed as a Janitor on /vp/. The Pastebin linked to many of his accounts on weirdo Sonic fansites, fanfictions and Twitter and other social media accounts. The 20-something manchild promptly dropped his Hot Pocket and made a desperate bid to hide information, but nothing disappears from the Internet. While being revealed as an autist is understandably disheartening, no one is surprised, as only someone with such an affliction could spend hours deleting posts and images related to Pokémon, day after day, for years, for free.


As was stated in the previous section, Ziese has been deleting quotes and hiding information since his doxxing. So to make sure /vp/ users know who deleted that image of Sylveon's butt, here are some prime choice quotes.

The public will likely get on my tail for it, but just so you guys know, I am planning on writing a scenario with some X-Men and Revolutionary Girl Utena influence for a video game story that is essentially going to be taking a stand against the unfair discrimination that asexuals and transgender folk through. I am unsure if I can get more in there, but I will, if possible.


— One of the first quotes pulled by Ziese, made on a forum in January 2015

Some say that people with Asperger's syndrome are inferior, but here's the thing: I have it, so does the creator of Pokémon.


— At last, something related to Pokémon. He must yearn for a Sonic board on 4chan.

People bullied me, even said that I was an humiliation to my family and the "R word".


— Truth hurts.

The excessive bullying partially made me develop a chronic, sometimes physically self-abusive inferiority complex so powerful, that it lead to the point of THREE suicidal periods from being pressured before I completed high school.


— Faggot didn't do it.

The majority of people don't realize that Asperger's Syndrome has benefits...


— Ziese, lying through his teeth.


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Featured article January 30 & 31, 2015
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