Death Stranding

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Insane Japanese man still addicted to drugs.

Death Stranding (a.k.a. Norman Reedus and the Funky Fetus) is a vaguely horror-themed 2019 walking simulator for the PlayStation 4 and PC. Development of Death Stranding began shortly after professional batshit insane drug addicted Japanese man, Hideo Kojima, was fired from Konami for attempting to turn the Silent Hill reboot project Silent Hills (a.k.a. P.T.) into a nonsensical homoerotic clusterfuck starring The Walking Dead actor Norman Reedus. Following his departure from Konami, Kojima stole the script for Silent Hills by inserting it into his rectum, threw in even more crazy shit, and finally slapped the egotistical label "A Hideo Kojima Game" on the finished product.

You Are Overencumbered: The Game follows the gripping story of a post-apocalyptic delivery boy Sam Porter-Bridges (played by Norman Reedus) as he hauls large amounts of cargo all the way across the United States in an attempt to "Make America Whole Again" and impress his ex-girlfriend who happens to be both the President of The United States of America and a hologram. Accompanying Sam on his long, arduous journey is a pickled baby who can sense ghosts or some shit – we already told you that Kojima made this game, so what the fuck did you expect?

Touted by Kojima as a brand new genre of action game, Death Stranding is, in reality, just a massively pseudo-multiplayer walking simulator that, for some ungodly reason, features a likes system that's stolen from Facebook and implemented in the style of Dark Souls.


Gameplay Tutorial

DeathStrandingBBInstructions.jpg


Death Stranding - Featuring Rick and Morty from Rick & Morty


Gallery


See Also

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  • Plagiarism - Kojima just made the Silent Hills script more gay and slapped his name on it.
  • Metal Gear Solid - The only successful thing that Kojima is known for.
  • Postal 2 - That other game that lets you piss all over the place.
  • Fallout: New Vegas - The only game with a delivery boy protagonist that isn't complete shit.
  • Walking Simulator - What this game is.
  • BABY FUCK - Death Stranding meets Rule 34.


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