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Here is the place where you are. If you are not here, you are there. If you are not there, you are dead. Here is a concept that implies a concious entity placing itself somewhere within the real world. The concept of here has been perverted by people who use the internet and other drugs. They say "I'm on the internet" as though the internet was real.

Places you might actually be.

 
...Probably.
The Real World.
Click here to find out if you are here.
Earth.
Scientists and capitalists for years have been trying to prove that the earth doesn't exist, but they're dumbasses who edit at Wikipedia. The earth is real and alive. Respect her. Reduce, reuse, reboot!
On your Fat Ass.
Strangely enough, "on your fat ass" is most often where someone is when they think they are OTI. Both your fat ass and the Internet are full of crap and we think that there is a connection. Could also possibly be in your ass.
Your mom.
We've ALL been there, d00d.

Places you are not.

 
Obv obv obv.
The Internets.
Ditto for the Information Super Highway, Cyberspace and Das Webbenstein.
The Matrix.
Dude, if this were all a computer program designed to enslave my mind, then how come I'm learning so much in school?
The moon.
Put down the reefer, man. It's puff-puff... GIVE-GIVE, plskthx.
America.
Overflowing with obese tubs of shit that consume everything in their path as they slowly rot from the inside out.
Bat Country.
You can't stop here.
Your mom.
d00d, gay.

See Also