Difference between revisions of "Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17"

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>Milorambaldi43
(Grammar and capitalization correction)
 
(39 intermediate revisions by 14 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{spoiler|100 [[aids|FAGGOT DISEASE]] RESEARCHER WAS ON THE PLANE AND THEY ALL FUCKING DIED!!!!!NO MORE CURES!!! FAGGOT!!!}}<br /><br />
+
{{spoiler|100 [[aids|FAGGOT DISEASE]] RESEARCHERS WERE ON THE PLANE AND THEY ALL FUCKING DIED!!!!!NO MORE CURES FOR YOU FAGGOT!!!}}
 +
{{offended}}
 
[[File:MH17 Airline Logo.png|center]]<br /><br />
 
[[File:MH17 Airline Logo.png|center]]<br /><br />
 
[[File:MH17 Counter.jpg|thumb|left|200px]]
 
[[File:MH17 Counter.jpg|thumb|left|200px]]
[[File:MH17 Putin Potato.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]
+
[[File:MH17 Putin Potato.jpg|thumb|right|275px|<center>You gonna argue?</center>]]
[[File:MH17 Malaysia Flag.gif|thumb|left|200px]]
+
[[File:MH17 Malaysia Flag.gif|thumb|left|200px|<center>Official flag of Malaysia</center>]]
'''Malaysian Airline MH17''' was a commercial cargo ship carrying 100 AIDS researchers that was either shot down by retarded slavs parading Putin's military equipment or a [[conspiracy|false flag operation]] by the Ukraine government to incriminate their domestic insurgency.  The plane was shot down on July 17th en route to Melbourne by a BUK surface-to-air missile in a monumental firework display that resulted in a shower of charred remains spreading a nine mile radius and a local high-school chemistry teacher left cleaning out fallen debris from his swimming pool.<br /><br />
+
'''Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17''' was a commercial cargo ship carrying 100 [[AIDS]] researchers that was either shot down by retarded slavs parading Putin's military equipment or a [[conspiracy|false flag operation]] by the Ukraine government to incriminate their domestic insurgency.  The plane was shot down on July 17th en route to Melbourne by a BUK surface-to-air missile in a monumental firework display that resulted in a shower of charred remains spreading a nine mile radius and a local high-school chemistry teacher left cleaning out fallen debris from his swimming pool.<br /><br />
  
Some argue that a bunch of Slav rebels were fighting over a hunk of dirt that should be turned into the next Chernobyl and blew up the plane.  They thought about hijacking and pulling a [[barrel roll|9/11]] but gave up on that idea, as Ukraine is nothing but a shitty gray concrete apartment complex and nobody would care.  Others suggest that the Ukrainian Army blew up the plane on purpose, hacked the Twitter account of the rebel leader who ordered the shot, and released a fabricated phone conversation which equated to an admission of guilt.  Putin believes it was an assassination attempt on himself.<br /><br />
+
Some argue that a bunch of Slav rebels were fighting over a hunk of dirt that should be turned into the next Chernobyl and blew up the plane.  They thought about hijacking and pulling a [[barrel roll|9/11]] but gave up on that idea, as Ukraine is nothing but a shitty gray concrete apartment complex and nobody would care.  Others suggest that the Ukrainian Army blew up the plane on purpose, hacked the Twitter account of the rebel leader who ordered the shot, and released a fabricated phone conversation which equated to an admission of guilt.  Putin believes it was an assassination attempt on himself.  Others believe [[Israel]] did it to distract people from their attack on Gaza just like how [[JEWS DID WTC]].<br /><br />
  
 
Everyone is wrong.  [[Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17#Pilot_Parker|Pilot Parker]] crashed the fucking plane.<br /><br />
 
Everyone is wrong.  [[Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17#Pilot_Parker|Pilot Parker]] crashed the fucking plane.<br /><br />
  
==Passangers==
+
==Passengers==
 
{{frame|[[File:MH17 Malaysia Airlines.jpg|center]]|border=black|background=black|margin=auto}}
 
{{frame|[[File:MH17 Malaysia Airlines.jpg|center]]|border=black|background=black|margin=auto}}
{{quote|The rain in Ukraine &bull; Is mainly humane &bull; from the plane &bull; that left a blood stain|maxWidth=1400px}}
+
{{quote|The rain in Ukraine &bull; Is human remains &bull; Falling mainly from the plane|maxWidth=1400px}}  
 
+
[[File:Putin-laughing.jpg|thumb|right|<center>Putins reaction to the accident.</center>‎]]
298 people fell to their fiery deaths.  Of them, 80 were [[children]]. 154 were [[Dutch]], 43 [[Malaysia|Malaysians]], 27 [[Australia|Aussies]], 12 from [[Indonesia]], 9 [[UK|Britfags]], 4 [[Germany|Krauts]], 4 from [[Belgium]], 3 [[Philippines|Pinoys]], and one lonely [[Canadian]].  41 are still unverified.  This total does not include Pilot Parker, hailing from [[Ultimate Warrior|Parts Unknown]].<br /><br />
 
  
 +
 +
298 people fell to their fiery deaths.  Of them, 80 were [[children]] (sadly, no [[Chris-Chan|manchildren]]).  189 were [[Dutch]], 44 [[Malaysia|Malaysians]], 27 [[Australia|Aussies]], 12 from [[Indonesia]], 9 [[UK|Britfags]], 4 [[Germany|Krauts]], 4 from [[Belgium]], 3 [[Philippines|Pinoys]], one lonely [[Canadian]], an [[Americunt]]/[[Pindos]], and a [[New Zealand|Kiwi]] if that even counts as a human.  4 are still [[shit nobody cares about|unverified]].  This total does not include Pilot Parker, hailing from [[Ultimate Warrior|Parts Unknown]].<br /><br />
 +
 
===AIDS Researchers===
 
===AIDS Researchers===
[[File:Phelps unf.gif|thumb|right]]
+
[[File:Phelps unf.gif|thumb|right|<center>[[Fred Phelps]] fapping from the grave.</center>]]
Approximately 100 of the world's top AIDS/HIV researchers were on board the flight, heading to a conference in Melbourne.  This marks a crippling blow for both homos and Afrikaans, as they realize that their only hope for survival relied on people who travel to Australia.  Devout members of the [[Westboro Baptist Church]] are pleased and are expected to make a statement about how they were right all along.<br /><br />
+
Approximately 100 of the world's top AIDS/HIV researchers were on board the flight, heading to a conference in Melbourne.  This marks a crippling blow for both homos and Afrikaans, as they realize that their only hope for survival relied on people who travel to Australia.  Devout members of the [[Westboro Baptist Church]] are pleased and are expected to make a statement about how they were right all along. Ironically, Russia happened to be 13th place in the world in terms of AIDS victim, making it look like they shot themselves when playing Russian roulette with their foot.<br /><br />
  
 
===Lightning Strikes Twice===
 
===Lightning Strikes Twice===
An Australian family who had lost two of their loved ones on [[Malaysia Airlines Flight 370]] hit the jackpot again and lost another one on MH17.  Surviving members are expected to win the lottery in the coming weeks, only to die in a future Malaysian Airlines flight.  By lottery, we mean lawsuit, and by future Malaysian Airlines flight, we mean a plane will strike their home.<br /><br />
+
An Australian family who had lost two of their loved ones on [[Malaysia Airlines Flight 370]] hit the jackpot again and lost another one on MH17!.  Surviving members are expected to win the lottery in the coming weeks, only to die in a future Malaysian Airlines flight.  By lottery, we mean lawsuit, and by future Malaysian Airlines flight, we mean a plane will strike their home.<br /><br />
  
 
==Theories==
 
==Theories==
Line 47: Line 50:
  
 
===Pilot Parker===
 
===Pilot Parker===
[[File:MH17 Fasten your seat belt.png|thumb|left]]
+
[[File:MH17 Fasten your seat belt.png|thumb|left|<center>This is your pilot speaking.</center>]]
Pilot Parker always had the best of intentions, but he wasn't known to be the most cunning pilot on Malaysian Airline's payroll.  Regardless, he was still put charge of the flight and the airline toted it as his next big adventure.  Sadly, his adventure would end mid-flight over the Ukraine.  Some argue that Pilot Parker had detonated a bomb, but since there was no suicide note or motive, his true intentions shall remain a mystery.
+
[[File:MH17 Pilot Parker Gif.gif|thumb|right|<center>Bon Voyage!</center>]]
 +
Pilot Parker always had the best of intentions, but he wasn't known to be the most cunning pilot on Malaysian Airline's payroll.  Regardless, he was still put charge of the flight and the airline toted it as his next big adventure.  Sadly, his adventure would end mid-flight over the Ukraine.  Some argue that Pilot Parker had detonated a bomb, but since there was no suicide note or motive, his true intentions shall remain a mystery.  It appears that Pilot Parker's presence were the source of rumours that [[Pedobear]] himself had been killed in the explosion.  Such reports were greatly exaggerated however, Pedobear is in fact alive and well and currently headed to the Ukraine to [[rape]] the [[dead babies]].
 
{{quote|Fasten your seatbelts, Pilot Parker is ready for his next adventure.|Chilling final words from Malaysian Airlines.}}<br /><br />
 
{{quote|Fasten your seatbelts, Pilot Parker is ready for his next adventure.|Chilling final words from Malaysian Airlines.}}<br /><br />
 
<center><gallery>
 
<center><gallery>
 
File:MH17 Pilot Parker.png|<center>The original tweet.</center>
 
File:MH17 Pilot Parker.png|<center>The original tweet.</center>
 
File:MH17 Pilot Parker 2.jpg|<center>Soon to be starring in his own movie.</center>
 
File:MH17 Pilot Parker 2.jpg|<center>Soon to be starring in his own movie.</center>
 +
File:MH17 Pilot Parker 3.png|<center>Pilot Parker ejected early and has been spotted vacationing in Malacca.</center>
 +
</gallery></center><br /><br />
 +
 +
===Bad Vlad===
 +
[[File:MH17 Webcomic.jpg|thumb|left|200px|<center>As told by webcomics.</center>]]
 +
[[File:MH17 Airplane Putin.jpg|thumb|right|<center>Putin evading yet another assassination attempt.</center>]]
 +
[[File:MH17 Putin Goodnight.png|thumb|right|<center>Most likely outcome of this.</center>]]
 +
{{squote|I can say that Putin’s plane and the Malaysian Boeing intersected at the same point and the same echelon. That was close to Warsaw on 330-m echelon at the height of 10,100 meters. The presidential jet was there at 16:21 Moscow time and the Malaysian aircraft - 15:44 Moscow time.  The contours of the aircrafts are similar, linear dimensions are also very similar, as for the coloring, at a quite remote distance they are almost identical.|Case closed}}<br /><br />
 +
In a desperate attempt to place the blame on anyone but the ragtag militia he's been funneling money and mercenaries to, [[Vladimir Putin]] announced that his presidential plane had been flying in the same air-zone less than a half hour before MH17 went down.  Clearly, the Ukraine Army were trying to assassinate him and instead hit a commercial airliner.  After realizing their mistake, the Ukraine [[CSIII|hacked]] the Twitter account of a militia general and announced that he had taken down what he thought was an AN-26 Military Cargo plane.  In a cunning display of [[social engineering]], the Ukraine then deleted that tweet to make it look as if the General had posted it on accident.  At the same time, they released a completely fake intercepted telephone conversation between militants and their Russian contacts, taking blame for the accident.  To nail the coffin shut on this obvious false flag, Ukraine intelligence officers had also hacked the twitter accounts of several militants and posted pictures of them standing next to the BUK that was used to shoot down MH17.
 +
 +
<b>tl;dr - Putin did nothing wrong.</b><br /><br />
 +
[[File:Feminist_mh17.jpg|center|300px|]]
 +
<center>'''Stop oppressing MH17!'''</center>
 +
<br />
 +
<center><gallery perrow="4">
 +
File:MH17 Rebel Admission.jpg|Just downed an AN-26 in Torez region, lying somewhere near the Progress mine. We warned them - no flying in our sky.
 +
File:MH17 Rebel BUK 1.jpg|The Rebels claiming their kill on their twitter feed showing off the BUK that they used to shoot down the plane, clearly planted there by Ukraine spies.
 +
File:MH17 Rebel BUK 2.jpg|Another image of the BUK used to shoot down MH17, before Ukraine spies drove it back to Kiev.
 +
File:MH17 Rebel BUK 3.png|Militants have never had possession of a BUK and this month old photograph is the work of hackers.
 
</gallery></center><br /><br />
 
</gallery></center><br /><br />
 +
<center>'''Intercepted Phone Call Between Separatists and Russians'''</center>
 +
{{frame|<youtube>V5E8kDo2n6g</youtube>|border=black|background=black|margin=auto}}<br />
 +
{{story|
 +
<pre>
 +
Translation:
 +
 +
17.07.2014 about 16:20 terrorists lead by "Bes" (citizen of Russian Federation I. Bezler) used russian SAM to take down civil aircraft model "Boing 777" that belonged to Malaysian airline company "Malaysia Airlines" that was performing flight Amsterdam - kuala lumpur
 +
 +
About 16:40 "Bes" has reported about shot down aircrasft to his superior - colonel GERANIN VASILIY MIKOLAYEVICH - of Main Reconassence Agency
 +
 +
Bes - "A plane has just been shot down. "Miner's" group did it. It fell down a bit further of Enakievo" Heranin "Pilots - where are pilots?"
 +
 +
Bes: "Gone to search for and take pictures of the aircraft taken down. Smoking..."
 +
 +
Heranin: "How much minutes ago?"
 +
 +
Bes "About 30 minutes ago"
 +
 +
After looking around of crash site terrorists have come to conclusion that they had taken down a civil aircraft
 +
 +
Conversation between "Major" and "Hrek: follows:
 +
 +
Hrek: "Yes, Major!"
 +
 +
Major: "So chernuhinskie guys took down the plane. From Chernuhino block-post. The cossaks that are stationed on Chernuhino"
 +
 +
Major: "So plane fell apart in air, near Pertopoltavskaya mine. First "200" found. A civil person"
 +
 +
Hrek: "What's going on there?"
 +
 +
Major: "Well, fuck, it was 100% a civil aircraft"
 +
 +
Hrek: "How many people?"
 +
 +
Major: "Holy fuck! PArts of the plane fell in yards (meaning house yeards ) "
 +
 +
Hrek" What kind of aircraft?
 +
 +
Major: "I still have no clue because i wasn't near it's main part. I'm currrently looking at the place where first bodies fell"
 +
 +
Major: "there are leftovers of internal brakets, seats, bodies
 +
 +
Hrek: "Ane weapons?"
 +
 +
Major: "Nothing at all. Civil things, medical things, towels, toilet paper"
 +
 +
Hrek" Any documents?"
 +
 +
Major: "Yes, Indonesian student. From Tompson University"
 +
 +
Militia: "About the plane that was shot down near Snezhniy - Torez. It was a civil aircraft. It fell near Grabovo. There's a shit tonn of women and children corpses. Cossaks are now looking the place around."
 +
 +
Militia: "They say over TV that it's a Ukranian AN-26 transport aircraft, but they say it has "Malaysian Airlines" written over it. And what did he do on Ukranian territory?"
 +
 +
M. Kozicin: "So they were bringing in the spies. I dunno. No fucking flying around. It's war over there."
 +
</pre>}}<b>tl;dr - The pilot, passengers and [[dead babies]] were all [[asking for it]].</b><br /><br />
 +
 
==Gallery==
 
==Gallery==
 
+
{{quote|Now this is the story all about how<br />my plane went flip turned upside down<br />Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there<br />I'll tell you how I was shot down in Ukrainian air.}}
 
===Wreckage===
 
===Wreckage===
{{cg|Wreckage|gal1|center|<gallery perrow="5">
+
{{cg|Wreckage|gal1|center|<gallery perrow="6">
 +
File:MH17 Gore 03.jpg
 +
File:MH17 Gore 02.jpg
 +
File:MH17 Gore 01.jpg
 +
File:MH17 Dead Baby 02.jpg
 +
File:MH17 Dead Baby 01.jpg
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 14.jpg
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 14.jpg
 +
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="6">
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 13.png
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 13.png
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 12.jpg
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 12.jpg
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 11.jpg
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 11.jpg
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 10.jpg
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 10.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
 
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 09.png
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 09.png
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 08.jpg
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 08.jpg
Line 74: Line 159:
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 01.png
 
File:MH17 Wreckage 01.png
 
</gallery>}}<br /><br />
 
</gallery>}}<br /><br />
 
===Gore===
 
<center><gallery perrow="5">
 
File:MH17 Gore 03.jpg
 
File:MH17 Gore 02.jpg
 
File:MH17 Gore 01.jpg
 
File:MH17 Dead Baby 02.jpg
 
File:MH17 Dead Baby 01.jpg
 
</gallery></center><br /><br />
 
  
 
===Misc===
 
===Misc===
 
<center><gallery perrow="6">
 
<center><gallery perrow="6">
File:MH17 FB Status.png
+
File:MH17 FB Status.png|<center>Never too soon.</center>
File:MH17 Creepy Facebook Post.jpg
+
File:MH17 Facebook Missing.png|<center>Eerie final facebook status from passenger.</center>
File:MH17 Putin Goodnight.png
+
File:MH17 Chan.jpg|<center>4chan reaction.</center>
File:MH17 Chan.jpg
+
File:MH17 Chan 2.png|<center>Another 4chan reaction.</center>
File:MH17 Airplane Putin.jpg
+
File:Pol christfag response.png|<center>/pol/'s take on the situation.</center>
File:MH17 Webcomic.jpg
+
File:MH17 Death Toll FIFA.png|<center>Adding insult to injury.</center>
File:MH17 Death Toll FIFA.png
+
File:MH17 Movie Poster 1.jpg|<center>Coming soon.</center>
File:MH17 Rebel Admission.jpg
+
File:MH17 Life Insurance.jpg|<center>Always a good time for life insurance.</center>
File:MH17 Rebel BUK 3.png
+
File:MH17 Wallpaper.jpg|<center>Wallpaper.</center>
File:MH17 Rebel BUK 2.jpg
+
File:MH17 Breaking Bad.jpg|<center>[[Breaking Bad|Walter White]] on MH17.</center>
File:MH17 Rebel BUK 1.jpg
+
File:MH17 Putin Trophy.jpg|<center>Another one for the trophy room.</center>
 +
File:Putinbabyfield.jpg
 
</gallery></center><br /><br />
 
</gallery></center><br /><br />
  
 
==Videos==
 
==Videos==
<center><youtube>eBz-5QCV7LI</youtube><br />'''Homecam'''<br /><br />
+
 
<youtube>81Re-mxBkLo</youtube><br />'''Captain Janks prank call MSNBC'''<br /><br /></center>
+
{{center|{{fv|vg1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
 +
|<youtube>81Re-mxBkLo</youtube><center>'''Captain Janks prank call MSNBC'''</center>
 +
|<youtube>l5aZJBLAu1E</youtube><center>'''Flight MH17 Theme Song'''</center>
 +
|<youtube>mDMjnwbIDBE</youtube><center>'''get rekt scrubs'''</center>
 +
}}}}<br /><br />
  
 
==See Also==
 
==See Also==
Line 115: Line 196:
 
*[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2696161/BREAKING-NEWS-Malaysian-passenger-plane-carrying-295-people-crashes-Ukraine-near-Russian-border.html News story]
 
*[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2696161/BREAKING-NEWS-Malaysian-passenger-plane-carrying-295-people-crashes-Ukraine-near-Russian-border.html News story]
 
*[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2696389/That-blast-look-smoke-Sick-boast-laughing-rebels-saw-MH17-hit-missile-hours-leader-boasted-We-warned-not-fly-sky.html Another news story]
 
*[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2696389/That-blast-look-smoke-Sick-boast-laughing-rebels-saw-MH17-hit-missile-hours-leader-boasted-We-warned-not-fly-sky.html Another news story]
 +
*[http://www.ibtimes.com/malaysia-airlines-quietly-removes-photo-mascot-teddy-bear-twitter-light-ukraine-plane-1631636 Malaysian Airline Pilot Parker Cover Up]
 
*[http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2014/07/malaysia-flight-17-christine-legarde-occult-message-connection-video-2994400.html Nutcase conspiracy theorist]
 
*[http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2014/07/malaysia-flight-17-christine-legarde-occult-message-connection-video-2994400.html Nutcase conspiracy theorist]
 
*[http://www.interfax.com/news.asp?y=2014&m=7&d=18&pg=1 Timeline of events leading to the crash]
 
*[http://www.interfax.com/news.asp?y=2014&m=7&d=18&pg=1 Timeline of events leading to the crash]
Line 125: Line 207:
 
{{truth}}
 
{{truth}}
 
{{Life}}
 
{{Life}}
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured article]] July 21 & 22, [[2014]]|[[Hungary]]|Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17|TBA}}
+
{{timeline|[[AOTN|Featured article]] July 19 & 20, [[2014]]|[[Dashcon]]|Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17|[[Hungary]]}}
[[Category:2014]][[Category:Events]][[Category:IRL Shit]]
+
[[Category:2014]][[Category:Events]][[Category:IRL Shit]][[Category:Rusfags]]

Latest revision as of 12:41, 23 July 2018

Offended.gif
Offended?

If you have been offended by "Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17",
please click here and scroll slowly down to the bottom of the page.
MH17 Airline Logo.png



MH17 Counter.jpg
You gonna argue?
Official flag of Malaysia

Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 was a commercial cargo ship carrying 100 AIDS researchers that was either shot down by retarded slavs parading Putin's military equipment or a false flag operation by the Ukraine government to incriminate their domestic insurgency. The plane was shot down on July 17th en route to Melbourne by a BUK surface-to-air missile in a monumental firework display that resulted in a shower of charred remains spreading a nine mile radius and a local high-school chemistry teacher left cleaning out fallen debris from his swimming pool.

Some argue that a bunch of Slav rebels were fighting over a hunk of dirt that should be turned into the next Chernobyl and blew up the plane. They thought about hijacking and pulling a 9/11 but gave up on that idea, as Ukraine is nothing but a shitty gray concrete apartment complex and nobody would care. Others suggest that the Ukrainian Army blew up the plane on purpose, hacked the Twitter account of the rebel leader who ordered the shot, and released a fabricated phone conversation which equated to an admission of guilt. Putin believes it was an assassination attempt on himself. Others believe Israel did it to distract people from their attack on Gaza just like how JEWS DID WTC.

Everyone is wrong. Pilot Parker crashed the fucking plane.

Passengers

MH17 Malaysia Airlines.jpg
   
 
The rain in Ukraine • Is human remains • Falling mainly from the plane
 

 
 

Putins reaction to the accident.


298 people fell to their fiery deaths. Of them, 80 were children (sadly, no manchildren). 189 were Dutch, 44 Malaysians, 27 Aussies, 12 from Indonesia, 9 Britfags, 4 Krauts, 4 from Belgium, 3 Pinoys, one lonely Canadian, an Americunt/Pindos, and a Kiwi if that even counts as a human. 4 are still unverified. This total does not include Pilot Parker, hailing from Parts Unknown.

AIDS Researchers

Fred Phelps fapping from the grave.

Approximately 100 of the world's top AIDS/HIV researchers were on board the flight, heading to a conference in Melbourne. This marks a crippling blow for both homos and Afrikaans, as they realize that their only hope for survival relied on people who travel to Australia. Devout members of the Westboro Baptist Church are pleased and are expected to make a statement about how they were right all along. Ironically, Russia happened to be 13th place in the world in terms of AIDS victim, making it look like they shot themselves when playing Russian roulette with their foot.

Lightning Strikes Twice

An Australian family who had lost two of their loved ones on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 hit the jackpot again and lost another one on MH17!. Surviving members are expected to win the lottery in the coming weeks, only to die in a future Malaysian Airlines flight. By lottery, we mean lawsuit, and by future Malaysian Airlines flight, we mean a plane will strike their home.

Theories

As with anything that involves politics, war, and death, a number of conspiracy theories have surfaced.

Numbers Theory


The Prime number 17 was called by the Pythagoreans – opposition, obstruction, evil, and the day the Devil triumphed over God.

Malaysia Airlines flight #MH17, a Boeing 777 is shot down on 17/7/14 apparently after being built 17 years ago. Perhaps this speech in the video above, this occult message was an order given to whomever by her to shoot this plane down as maybe a sacrifice or a false flag to further their goals? If you dont understand the connection watch the video first then you will get it. It also had 295 people on board. 2+9+5 = 16 1+6 = 7.

Reporter said flight departure was 11:14 (1+1+1+4=7) and to arrive at 06:10 (6+1=7)

First Flight: 17 July 1997 Last Flight: 17 July 2014 Age: 17 Years

295 people gone.

295 = 5 * 59 59 = 17th Prime Number 17 = 7th Prime Number, this just keeps getting weirder and weirder…

TAKE YOUR MEDS



Pilot Parker

This is your pilot speaking.
Bon Voyage!

Pilot Parker always had the best of intentions, but he wasn't known to be the most cunning pilot on Malaysian Airline's payroll. Regardless, he was still put charge of the flight and the airline toted it as his next big adventure. Sadly, his adventure would end mid-flight over the Ukraine. Some argue that Pilot Parker had detonated a bomb, but since there was no suicide note or motive, his true intentions shall remain a mystery. It appears that Pilot Parker's presence were the source of rumours that Pedobear himself had been killed in the explosion. Such reports were greatly exaggerated however, Pedobear is in fact alive and well and currently headed to the Ukraine to rape the dead babies.

   
 
Fasten your seatbelts, Pilot Parker is ready for his next adventure.
 

 
 

—Chilling final words from Malaysian Airlines.





Bad Vlad

As told by webcomics.
Putin evading yet another assassination attempt.
Most likely outcome of this.
 
 
I can say that Putin’s plane and the Malaysian Boeing intersected at the same point and the same echelon. That was close to Warsaw on 330-m echelon at the height of 10,100 meters. The presidential jet was there at 16:21 Moscow time and the Malaysian aircraft - 15:44 Moscow time. The contours of the aircrafts are similar, linear dimensions are also very similar, as for the coloring, at a quite remote distance they are almost identical.
 

 

—Case closed



In a desperate attempt to place the blame on anyone but the ragtag militia he's been funneling money and mercenaries to, Vladimir Putin announced that his presidential plane had been flying in the same air-zone less than a half hour before MH17 went down. Clearly, the Ukraine Army were trying to assassinate him and instead hit a commercial airliner. After realizing their mistake, the Ukraine hacked the Twitter account of a militia general and announced that he had taken down what he thought was an AN-26 Military Cargo plane. In a cunning display of social engineering, the Ukraine then deleted that tweet to make it look as if the General had posted it on accident. At the same time, they released a completely fake intercepted telephone conversation between militants and their Russian contacts, taking blame for the accident. To nail the coffin shut on this obvious false flag, Ukraine intelligence officers had also hacked the twitter accounts of several militants and posted pictures of them standing next to the BUK that was used to shoot down MH17.

tl;dr - Putin did nothing wrong.

Feminist mh17.jpg
Stop oppressing MH17!




Intercepted Phone Call Between Separatists and Russians


Translation:

17.07.2014 about 16:20 terrorists lead by "Bes" (citizen of Russian Federation I. Bezler) used russian SAM to take down civil aircraft model "Boing 777" that belonged to Malaysian airline company "Malaysia Airlines" that was performing flight Amsterdam - kuala lumpur

About 16:40 "Bes" has reported about shot down aircrasft to his superior - colonel GERANIN VASILIY MIKOLAYEVICH - of Main Reconassence Agency

Bes - "A plane has just been shot down. "Miner's" group did it. It fell down a bit further of Enakievo" Heranin "Pilots - where are pilots?"

Bes: "Gone to search for and take pictures of the aircraft taken down. Smoking..."

Heranin: "How much minutes ago?"

Bes "About 30 minutes ago"

After looking around of crash site terrorists have come to conclusion that they had taken down a civil aircraft

Conversation between "Major" and "Hrek: follows:

Hrek: "Yes, Major!"

Major: "So chernuhinskie guys took down the plane. From Chernuhino block-post. The cossaks that are stationed on Chernuhino"

Major: "So plane fell apart in air, near Pertopoltavskaya mine. First "200" found. A civil person"

Hrek: "What's going on there?"

Major: "Well, fuck, it was 100% a civil aircraft"

Hrek: "How many people?"

Major: "Holy fuck! PArts of the plane fell in yards (meaning house yeards ) "

Hrek" What kind of aircraft?

Major: "I still have no clue because i wasn't near it's main part. I'm currrently looking at the place where first bodies fell"

Major: "there are leftovers of internal brakets, seats, bodies

Hrek: "Ane weapons?"

Major: "Nothing at all. Civil things, medical things, towels, toilet paper"

Hrek" Any documents?"

Major: "Yes, Indonesian student. From Tompson University"

Militia: "About the plane that was shot down near Snezhniy - Torez. It was a civil aircraft. It fell near Grabovo. There's a shit tonn of women and children corpses. Cossaks are now looking the place around."

Militia: "They say over TV that it's a Ukranian AN-26 transport aircraft, but they say it has "Malaysian Airlines" written over it. And what did he do on Ukranian territory?"

M. Kozicin: "So they were bringing in the spies. I dunno. No fucking flying around. It's war over there." 

tl;dr - The pilot, passengers and dead babies were all asking for it.

Gallery

   
 
Now this is the story all about how
my plane went flip turned upside down
Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you how I was shot down in Ukrainian air.

 

 
 

Wreckage

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]



Misc



Videos

Captain Janks prank call MSNBC
Flight MH17 Theme Song
get rekt scrubs



See Also



External Links


Portal truth.png

Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

City Street.jpg

Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17
is part of a series on

Life

[BRB HugboxGo Live One]

City Skyline.jpg
Real Life Objects

AirplanesAlcoholAmiiboBikesBlackberryBoatsBombsBooksBright Neon Nike ShirtCarsCell PhonesChairsCondomsDildosDrugsFireFoodGuitarsGunsKnivesLawnmowersMoneyMotorcyclesMotor OilPiercingScooterSkateboardsTamponsTattoosTelevisionToiletsTrains

Real Life Happenings

AbortionsAdvanced PlacementApril Fool's DayChristmasClubbingDeathDiseaseEasterHalloweenIncestJobsMass ShootingsMurderPay it Forward WeekendPregnanciesProtestsSexSchoolSleepSportsSuicideTraffic ControllersWage GapWar

People In Your Life

ArmyBrotherCopsCripplesDadGrandmaMilitaryMilitary WivesMomOld PeoplePeople (duh) • SisterUncle

See Also

The Comprehensive Guide To LifeIRLList of Proposed Internet-Based IRL CommunitiesMinimalismNight AuditorPokémon Go

Featured article July 19 & 20, 2014
Preceded by
Dashcon
Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 Succeeded by
Hungary