Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17

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Malaysian Airline MH17 was a commercial cargo ship carrying 100 AIDS researchers that was either shot down by retarded slavs parading Putin's military equipment or a false flag operation by the Ukraine government to incriminate their domestic insurgency. The plane was shot down on July 17th en route to Melbourne by a BUK surface-to-air missile in a monumental firework display that resulted in a shower of charred remains spreading a nine mile radius and a local high-school chemistry teacher left cleaning out fallen debris from his swimming pool.

Some argue that a bunch of Slav rebels were fighting over a hunk of dirt that should be turned into the next Chernobyl and blew up the plane. They thought about hijacking and pulling a 9/11 but gave up on that idea, as Ukraine is nothing but a shitty gray concrete apartment complex and nobody would care. Others suggest that the Ukrainian Army blew up the plane on purpose, hacked the Twitter account of the rebel leader who ordered the shot, and released a fabricated phone conversation which equated to an admission of guilt. Putin believes it was an assassination attempt on himself.

Everyone is wrong. Pilot Parker crashed the fucking plane.


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The rain in Ukraine • Is mainly humane • from the plane • that left a blood stain


298 people fell to their fiery deaths. Of them, 80 were children. 154 were Dutch, 43 Malaysians, 27 Aussies, 12 from Indonesia, 9 Britfags, 4 Krauts, 4 from Belgium, 3 Pinoys, and one lonely Canadian. 41 are still unverified. This total does not include Pilot Parker, hailing from Parts Unknown.

AIDS Researchers

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Approximately 100 of the world's top AIDS/HIV researchers were on board the flight, heading to a conference in Melbourne. This marks a crippling blow for both homos and Afrikaans, as they realize that their only hope for survival relied on people who travel to Australia. Devout members of the Westboro Baptist Church are pleased and are expected to make a statement about how they were right all along.

Lightning Strikes Twice

An Australian family who had lost two of their loved ones on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 hit the jackpot again and lost another one on MH17. Surviving members are expected to win the lottery in the coming weeks, only to die in a future Malaysian Airlines flight. By lottery, we mean lawsuit, and by future Malaysian Airlines flight, we mean a plane will strike their home.


As with anything that involves politics, war, and death, a number of conspiracy theories have surfaced.

Numbers Theory

The Prime number 17 was called by the Pythagoreans – opposition, obstruction, evil, and the day the Devil triumphed over God.

Malaysia Airlines flight #MH17, a Boeing 777 is shot down on 17/7/14 apparently after being built 17 years ago. Perhaps this speech in the video above, this occult message was an order given to whomever by her to shoot this plane down as maybe a sacrifice or a false flag to further their goals? If you dont understand the connection watch the video first then you will get it. It also had 295 people on board. 2+9+5 = 16 1+6 = 7.

Reporter said flight departure was 11:14 (1+1+1+4=7) and to arrive at 06:10 (6+1=7)

First Flight: 17 July 1997 Last Flight: 17 July 2014 Age: 17 Years

295 people gone.

295 = 5 * 59 59 = 17th Prime Number 17 = 7th Prime Number, this just keeps getting weirder and weirder…


Pilot Parker

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Pilot Parker always had the best of intentions, but he wasn't known to be the most cunning pilot on Malaysian Airline's payroll. Regardless, he was still put charge of the flight and the airline toted it as his next big adventure. Sadly, his adventure would end mid-flight over the Ukraine. Some argue that Pilot Parker had detonated a bomb, but since there was no suicide note or motive, his true intentions shall remain a mystery.

Fasten your seatbelts, Pilot Parker is ready for his next adventure.


—Chilling final words from Malaysian Airlines.



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Captain Janks prank call MSNBC

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