We totally swear we didn't write this -- it was the work of some poor schmuck that Mike banned improperly.
A Day in the Life of MuZemike
The power suddenly came back on. The electrical bill must have kicked in. The
clock flashed, blinking 12:00; MuZemike was too damn lazy to set it properly. He
was a broken man and he knew it, from the Wikipe-tan cut-out taped onto a
pillow to the numerous images of his fellow Wikipedian Fluffernutter scattered
about the apartment, stained with his man-juices, and reeking of that
all-too-familiar musky smell. Nothing but the routine combination of shame and
arousal was brought to mind. He was the shell of a man.
Times had been tough on MuZemike. Ever since the death of his mother, and his
abandonment by his good-for-nothing father, he was left to fend for himself in
the world: microwaving his own Totino's® Party Pizza® rolls, and when he was too
busy blocking sockpuppeteers from Wikipedia to pick up his welfare check, Hot
Pockets®. And even scraping the bloated rat corpses out of the closet when the
stench became unbearable, or worse, when the neighbors began to complain.
While giving his eyes a much needed rest and rub from 32 straight hours of
staring at a computer screen in his dimly-lit chamber. MuZemike nodded
approvingly at the large poster depicting Jimbo Wales above his monitor. He
saluted the poster before emerging from his folding chair.
MuZemike reminisced on the misspent his days of his youth, his family living
welfare check to welfare check, and sleeping in a single room, the warmth of his
overweight mother coming down on his own body as the two rested through the
night. It was that he knew he needed; That he had longed for all these years,
these long lonely years. The calming, unfamiliar feeling of a woman’s touch. He
needed it, and not knowing where to find such an abstract concept in his life,
MuZemike crept out into the unfamiliar cold of the hallway.
There she stood in an obviously discount-store bought coat, playing with her
boyish curls. She was alone, vulnerable, and most importantly, female: the only
breed that could provide the warm comfort MuZemike so desperately needed. The
kind that his late mother could no longer provide for him. She remained there by
the vending machine, toying with what had to be her third Snickers® bar in a
row. He approached with the utmost silence and care, not wanting to startle his
newly found replacement for his late mother.
However, time remained to be of the essence, there were only so many bags of
Funyuns® this beautiful, delicate creature could eat before her stubby arms
could no longer reach the change dropped under the machine. With a final pulse,
his cock stiffened to its full four-inch length. All four inches stood proudly
at attention, at guard for the moment it was to come in contact with the flesh
of this woman. His cloudy, watered eyes gazed lustfully at his captive. MuZemike
thought of the horror that her ass would soon be forced to endure.
She screamed when he grabbed her. A hand placed to attempt to muffle the noise
as much as possible slid over her mouth. The process soon became more difficult
than expected, as the tasks of forcing her silence and lowering her sweat-pants
were to be performed simultaneously if he was to reach the treasures within.
Finally slipping her pants below her buttocks, and allowing his own to reveal
his erection, MuZemike targeted for an opening, anywhere that would allow him to
relieve years of repressed urges, urges of Man that God made his female
counterpart to satisfy.
His gnarled, twisted member at last revealed its hideous shape. Black moles of
varying size and height dotted his inch-wide shaft, but the glans was dotted
with the oh-too-familiar herpes gifted to him by his dear mother. His entire
organ was covered in the sugar-like coating of crusted semen, and the pungent
odor that accompanied it began to fill the room. His spotted member pulsed with
excitement, he was finally doing it! He was taking what was rightfully his in
this world at long last!
At last he had reached her sacred anal entrance. Repeatedly pumping his body
forward in a motion to force his genitals inside, MuZemike slowly intruded the
woman. A glue of sorts soon aided his journey inside; he knew it was shit, and
he didn’t care, he was too close to the inside to stop now.
Once his throbbing cock reached its final destination, MuZemike forced movement
of himself in her bowels, slowly moving up and down over a think layer of feces
residue. The outer walls of her anus only furthered his pleasure when they
clenched down in rejection. She was weeping.
Suddenly, something blocked his hideous member’s path: a turd. Although a
difficult task, MuZemike began to grind his sex-organ into the oncoming
obstacle, slowly churning his rancid penis into its slimy, crusted tip. It only
served to arouse him even further. As he pushed forward, the excrement began to
squirm its way around his dick, latching onto the dry flesh, especially at the
head of his penis where pre-ejaculate was beginning to seep out. He knew it
would only be a matter of time until the deed was done.
Now being only slightly less-than-lubricated, MuZemike began pushing harder and
faster into the woman’s intestines. He then reached a point at which he felt the
world was compressed into all that was around him; all he could feel. His semen
began to shoot from the shit-coated tip of his member, decorating the canals of
his neighbor’s ass.
MuZemike violently ripped his still-erect cock from the inside of her anus,
completely coated with feces and blood. As this is performed, the remainder of
her shit began spewing out of her puckered hole with great haste, completely
drenching MuZemike’s pants and legs.
No longer caring about the smell nor the torrent of liquid feces pouring out of
her punished asshole, MuZemike began to spin her around to finish the deed: he
fully intended on violating her vaginally as well.
When he saw the woman’s tear-covered chubby face, it hit him. This was no girl,
this was Diego Grez, a fellow Wikipedian, who he had forced himself onto, as
well as into.
“DIEGO?” MuZemike shrieked, “IS THAT YOU?” The rest of the tenants were now
awake and completely alerted of the situation. Slowly emerging from their
apartments, they were shocked to see two half-nude men, both covered in mounds
of viscous feces and crusted ejaculate, on top of each other.
MuZemike’s life was over. His last action of the night was to hang his head in
shame, away from those of his disgusted neighbors, and his newly minted rape
victim. MuZemike then began to return to his lonely existence of self-loathing,
isolation, and Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.