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PokeMMO is yet another piece of shit Pokémon MMORPG based on Nintendo's Pokémon Fire Red. It started some time between early 2012 and Last Thursday.


Contents

Early Days on PokeMMO

PokeMMO, like all other games developed by a couple Down's Syndrome kids, started out small. It had a really limited userbase, and the project was growing steadily. The first few months didn't allow the public to play all the time, only for a limited time and only when the devs said they could. For these reasons, the game didn't get very popular early on. You could only go up to first badge anyway, so it's not like anyone would play that shit anyway.

By the time August 2012 arrived, the game was made available to everyone. You could get to Cerulean and do shit there and then beat Misty, so there was actually some story done. The devs decided to promote the game, and thus they went on /v/. /v/ didn't give two shits about it, and told them to get the fuck out. They then approached /vg/, who didn't give a shit either, and told them to go to /vp/. Needless to say, /vp/ didn't want that shit either.

Anyway, the game eventually got some players. The game was progressing slowly, and the devs were taking their time to do their shit.

August

August was fun times. Back in August 2012, the user base was made of basically 4chan users, and was, because of this reason, shit. But that didn't matter. Everyone was excited about a Pokémon game where you could actually play with others.

This was the first moment of expansion of PokeMMO, due to some faggots from 4chan. People started getting competitive after finishing the little story available by then, and a few tournaments were hosted. Needless to say, 95% of the players had no idea of what EV's or IV's were, and thus, got completely rekt.

Post-August, first major shitstorms

Eventually, someone had the brilliant idea of spreading word of this game to Reddit (whoever that was, fuck you). Needless to say, the game became a pile of unplayable garbage.

Global chats in this game became un-usable, due to the amount of retarded questions every second. Most of these could be answered by googling for 2 seconds, but who uses google anyway, amirite guise? XD.

September a month of unstopabble cancer and meme-spewing in global chats, so much that most people from August had already quit by now. Those that resisted, were either playing together and using VoIP programs to avoid the meme-spewing machine that this game had become.

(Note: Global chats never changed since September, they're still shit. No one uses them anymore.)

Game Evolution and Game Developers

PokeMMO is a game that uses Java to emulate Pokémon Fire Red rom (US version). This is obviously legit.

For a few months, before the game hit the masses, the devs coded the main stuff to make the game run. By August, it was ready to be playable.

It started out small, but eventually grew faster and faster, as the devs patched the game.

These devs call themselves Desu and Shu. Not much is known about them. In fact, they don't even give a shit about their community, since the community is composed of Reddit and le 9gag. They just code for the fun of it, and disregard anything the community wants or asks.

There's also Gizmo, but no one knows who that is.


ZOMG THEY RELEASED EMERALD VERSION!111111

The long awaited whining and crying paid off for those who inhabit this piece of shit game. After the DEVS teased everyones nipples dry they finally announced they were working on importing Pokemon Emerald, most likely in an attempt to save their dying wallets. IF YOU THOUGHT THE DEVS WERE GOING TO GET OFF THEIR FAT LAZY ASSES YOU WERE MISTAKEN. Now instead of starting in Kanto you can start in Hoenn, Pokemon still have no fucking sound effects or battle sprites. Everything is still the same, everyone fucks eachother for money and shinies but now in Hoenn.


Drama and more Drama

Shitposters

With all the le Redditors xD, it was only a matter of time until someone decided to have some fun with the situation. And thus, a wave of shitposters arrived. They came in all forms and shapes, ranging from religious debates to macfaggotry in general. When all was said and done, people were even more butt devastated than before.

All this shitpost made Squirtle, Staff Manager, do something. He hired some random people to do his dirty work and answer questions all day in the chats, with no payment whatsoever. He also gave them no powers at all, so all they had was a pretty tag behind their name saying CM (or Community Manager). Needless to say, no one cared for them, and just proceeded to shit post even harder when these people were online.

The Danii Incident

At some point, one of those CMs fucked up. This happened to be Danii. Danii was a girl gamer that got involved and sucked dick all the way to power. She wanted to keep going higher and higher, and every time someone said anything negative about her, she'd complain and bitch about it for the rest of the week. She then got involved with several people from the staff, sharing nudes of her, and just offering her pussy to anything with a dick. She eventually met with another fellow staff member, and they banged.

The whole story can be found in this pastebin, written by someone who she was also sharing noodz with, who caught with what she was doing.

Prime example of PokeMMO's best staff.

Official Teamspeak Raids

PokeMMO staff decided it was a good idea to create a public Teamspeak for their players to use and enjoy. Some players really liked the idea, and teams quickly embraced it (Spoiler alert: everyone gets mad).

The higher staff also didn't care enough to moderate the Teamspeak, so again, they just gave all the power to random people who don't understand shit about Teamspeak. The result? Everyone did whatever they wanted in there.

Some users decided to escalate and go further than everyone else. They installed Teamspeak soundboard plugins, and just blasted Sanic Adventure 2 theme at max volume everywhere, along with other highly annoying and disturbing sound. This lead to everyone's collon being massively damaged, except for the offenders and a few other guests that were passing by, whose sides got damaged for life.

Admins and staff in general tried everything to stop them, from global mutes to permanent bans, but it was no use. They kept coming back with proxies, dodging all the bans like hax0rs. They even made a video about this, which suprisingly, was accepted as a master piece by the community in general and even the devs liked it(Note: The devs, not the staff).

Finally, the Dev's discovered how to block public proxies and the soundboarders were assfucked like Hiroshima.

Said video can be found here.

PokeMMO's Slogan

 
PokeMMO slogan, as seen on the website.
 
Example of buttblasting over nothing

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PokeMMO's slogan has always been "Stop playing with yourself and start playing with everyone else". This is an original slogan, that originated a lot of controversy from butthurt faggots, for no good reason at all. Instead of playing Pokémon, or even discussing it at least, these faggots decided to talk about the game's slogan.

This lead to a shit load of threads on the forums, which always get ignored by the devs and lately even by the staff, which usually end up getting deleted or trashed when the mods have had enough and need to finally clean up the shit made by butthurt offended Redditurds.

PokeMMO Jewing

 
PokeMMO Jews

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On the 30th day of December, 2012, an update was released by the devs. This update brought some much needed features to the game, such as the Islands story scripting, and fixes to important moves, such as Mud Sport and Water Sport.

This also brought some other changes. This was the day where hats got introduced into PokeMMO. Much like TF2, hats were cosmetic articles that could be acquired to change your appearance. However, unlike TF2, these were pricey. The price ranges go from 2,5$ to 10$ for a piece of pixels covering your head on a Pokémon MMORPG. It gives you no extra features, just a 10x10 square of pixels. All this, for just 10,00$.


The community of PokeMMO.

Other then them being huge faggots they will belittle you for having 'terrible IV'd' Pokemon. Calling your hours of grinding for what you think is a good Pikachu a complete pile of shit. Only Pokemon with 9,000/9,000/9,000/9,000/9,000/9,000 stats are only worthy of being praised. Trading Pokemon is nonexistent as everyone will buttfuck eachother for useless ingame money that serves little to no purpose other then going garage saling for a worthless TM to teach your shitty team so you can be the VERY BEST. Everyone anymore just is lazy fucks who sit around all day waiting in cities to rape any passing by n00bs, boosting their ego when they beat your shitty starting team with their lvl 100 Bidoof.



2013 in a nutshell

2013 was the prime year of PokeMMO. It is highly unlikely that it will ever have such a great year, in fact. 2013 marks the highest population spike PokeMMO has ever had, and probably will ever have, since the devs just stopped caring at all. Literally not a single fuck. Updates roll in every 3 months, and usually have content worth 2 days of playing. Most of these said updates usually also come with bullshit mechanics that got everyone assdevastated for months to no end. However, the devs just do not give a flying fuck. The result is pretty obvious. The population has declined to a fraction of what it once was, competitive scene is dead, and even casuals don't want to play anymore. For PokeMMO, 2013 marks the biggest they've ever been, and the lowest they could ever reach. Or so one would think.

Hidden Changelogs

In October 2013, a new wave of bullshit hit PokeMMO. An ex-Staff member (Game master) came to public and revealed that there have been hidden changelogs that the devs have not told the community of. These include, but not limited to, the reduction of shiny appearance rate. In the normal games, and in the original PokeMMO, this rate was of 1/8192. However, the devs thought that was a little too low. Therefore, they decided to change it "slightly" (PokeMMO-style). The rate first got halved to 1/16384, but they didn't think this was enough, and halved it once more to 1/32768. There's no way to know if this was the only hidden change they've done behind the community's back, and also no way of confirming this or not - but the reports of multiple players that have thousands of hours into the game and have zero shiny encounters confirm that this is not only possible but also real.

There used to be a pastebin written by said ex-GM, which was mysteriously deleted from Pastebin (the person in question swears he never did it himself). This pastebin also contained possible leaks that are supposed to happen some time in the future.

The remaining PokeMMO community was too dumb to realize what was happening right in front of their eyes, and therefore, disregarded it entirely. PokeMMO staff then decided to damage control and actually pulled through, by throwing around a bunch of permabans around.

(Note: This section of this page is bound to be deleted or even the entire article)

PokeMMO and Real World Trading

It's no surprise that MMOs generate a lot of black market goods and there are, obviously,people interested in profiting from these. One of those, was an acknowledged competitive player, uMadBrah. Epik maymays :^) aside, this guy was actually a good player, and competed in a lot of tournaments, some hosted by the game's staff, others hosted by other players. The most common prizes for these were the very sought after shiny pokemon, which add absolutely fucking nothing to the pokemon except a new color different than normal. Nevertheless, people were retarded enough to desire these more than pussy. uMadBrah and a few others realized that people would even pay real money for them - and a lot of it. Despite being completely against the rules, and uMadBrah being right underneath PokeMMO staff's nose, he sold and traded shiny pixels on a Pokemon MMO for real money, in what he claims to have totaled in about $800 dollar profit over the course of a year and a half. He only finally got caught when he himself gave up on the game, after the market took a huge hit and no one cared about that shit anymore. I wonder why, the game is great.

uMadBrah made his story public on February 12th, being immediately permabanned from PokeMMO, ingame, on their forums, and in their Teamspeak server. You can read his story here: http://pastebin.com/DnDPC9xX

Videos

Video mocking staff and just generally rustling certain players

Pokémon MMO

See Also

External Links

 

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