Difference between revisions of "Portal:YouTube"

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Join ED IRC! Click here if you have a client already
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YouTube
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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Jump to: navigation, search
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Most important video on youtube:
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Typical YouTube user.
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Typical YouTube comment.
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Yet another Typical YouTube user.
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The Guy Below...
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YouTube's sick sense of irony
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How to become a YouTube partner: Just follow this example!
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YouTube's new rating. I'm serious, go see.
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WTF YouTube was here earlier than 2005.
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YouTube (sometimes called Jewtube) is a place where every illiterate fucktard on the internet converges. It is also a crappy video site, which is just as bad as Break.com in all manners of fugly girls posing, noobs, drag queens posing, fantards, clips from gay animes, old memes, and goth/emo videos. Practically everything in the "most viewed" and "top rated" categories are either softcore porn, clips from shit tv shows or sporting events, YouTube Poop, weeaboo faggotry, politically incendiary crap, horny azns, stupid pet tricks, Soulja Boy, men measuring their manboobs (HOT!), Shitty uploads of music with lyrics that are all made in Windows Movie Maker, and let us not forget underage girls shaking their asses on camera, and everything else. YouTube is pure drama, the entire user base being full of overly-emotional morons who will whine, bitch, and moan at the slightest provocation. So much as a drawn picture of another user with the words "poopy head" on it will instantly cause a shit storm. YouTube's most loyal viewers include Juggalos, emos, and Jews. It is also wise to note that the YouTube fags find sarcasm to be scary and difficult for their underdeveloped brains to understand, so it is generally advisable (unless you are trolling the fucktards) not to use sarcasm as, like irony, it will cause a shitstorm within their mentally retarded heads.
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It is important to note that YouTube was named by Time Magazine to be the best invention of 2006. Coming in second was a formula to prevent cervical cancer (No, srsly). Well, these are the same liberal fuckwits that labeled Finland as the #1 country in the world to live in, despite not providing any real evidence as to why. The sick fucks probably just like the legalized drugs, underaged girls, and lack of any real economic contributions to the world.
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Last Thursday, Google bought out YouTube and renamed it GooTube beta, shortly thereafter the era of The Promised Land began. And on March 31st, the year of Our Lord 2010, they have made their beta the inescapable face of the site, completely sealing their content in a vast cavern of fail. Nice job shitting where you eat, faggots. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS, THEY CHANGED IT BACK.
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Unless you're hurting their e-feelings, YouTube users adore absolutely any wretched shit uploaded to their site at all. Many people like to upload hilarious videos of themselves and their friends doing something absolutely crazy like a silly dance, putting on a stupid hat, performing some asinine stunt or prank, or making a movie made of sheer faggotry for the internet to enjoy. YouTube is a website which enables every lonely and desperate low life to spend endless amounts of time pursuing some shred of E-fame whilst providing a home for all others to troll them. It really allows us all to grasp the power of online video communication.
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YouTube is almost as shitty as Yahoo Answers in terms of faggotry. However, there is just a little more freedom to flame niggers due to the fact that Hitler doesn't absolutely own the site. On YouTube there are the typical emo faggots who QQ about their lives...(click here for example). These fags often end up on forums such as /B/ on 4chan. They are crap.
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Typical Uses
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The YouTubes is serious business!
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an example of all the shit that noobs upload on the shit website known as 'youtube'.
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Beyond finding unfunny crap to watch and interesting news clips of internet dramaz, YouTube can also be used as a tool for queers to shove their faggotry down the throats of our great nation. Now remember... YouTube is basically just a free porn site for people (such as CommandoTheLion) with odd fetishes. Searching for "gay kiss" turns up more videos than you can shake a cock at. The ultimate pwnage for gheys is when a gay kiss video is taken down, since it gives them the opportunity to flare up and bitch about homophobia on the internets.
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If you find yourself on a gay blog or MySpace and don't see any embedded gay kiss videos, you may rightfully claim 2 free internets from the site's owner. Don't hold out though, you're much more likely to find a straight furry or a diabetic who doesn't remind you of a rhinoceros.
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How To Make A Good Youtube Video
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Things First Time YouTube Browsers Should Know
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You'll never be famous or even create a meme because the website is now basically a Hulu promo with intermittent retarded 16-year old girls who love Jesus plugging Jenny Craig.
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Within ten minutes of first clicking that link that brings you to YouTube, you will inevitably find someone whom you instantly hate with a burning passion. As a speciality: Goronchev lol account banhammered. There are no exceptions to this rule.
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If you like something, there is a strong possibility that someone is going to call you out on it and call you a _____ american. Every video that has comments has a comment which contains this "insult", guaranteed.
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If the above rule takes effect and the object of loathing is not a 9/11 conspiracy theorist, you are probably not on YouTube. Tell them it was done by pissed off Muslims no matter what you think for lulz.
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Yes, they have MST3K clips. Lots of them. F-YEAH.
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YouTube Users are known to complain about false copyright claims against them so they can get their shit videos and accounts back up so YouTube can feel sorry for them and to poke fun at the "haters" and/or act like a total faggot for at least 100 videos to get the point across.
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You will always need to make backup accounts to avoid flagging users just in case you are a troll.
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YouTube is an endless video war to see who can stroke their e-peen even higher and act like a victim most of the time.
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YouTube is Jew.
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It is mandatory for all fagtube videos to have a shitty intro (made with Microshit movie maker,(Queer ass music included)) that is longer than the video itself.
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Subscribers don't mean a damn thing. See figure 2 to the right.
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By all means do not post that comment about Family Guy!!!
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Post comments using this equation. (Number of dislkikes) people (Something that happened in the video) and watch your thumbs up SKYROCKET.
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It isn't that hard to become a prominent YouTube user.
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Users
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Prominent Citizens of YouTube
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Dramatic YouTubers YouTube Egomaniacs Psychopathic YouTubers YouTube Bimbos YouTube Lolcows YouTube Panhandlers Now Irrelevant YouTubers Militant Fundamentalist YouTubers YouTube An heroes
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PAINmedia An insecure little shit who also fails at trolling. Troll the shit out of him!
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Seiran Watch out, YouTuber can be very butthurt
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Confectionary Bandit
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Crossmack
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CopperCab - Of GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS failfame. A fatass, pale, christian, ginger who flames at any slight anti-ginger thing. This fatass is what basically all gingers are. They also have no souls
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Goronchev
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PeppermintPatti / ItalianStallionette
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PixelBeeProductions
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Renetto
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Thedramatube
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YTwatchdog - Confirmed for Goodfag
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DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION?
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AntiDisneyMovement
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Battim
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Boh3m3 - Frienemy and protege of Renetto.
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Chris Crocker - Thinks he should get a reality show because he decided to bitch and whine about Britney Spears.
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Chuggaaconroy - A famous Let's Play Loser who has so much of a massive ego he wears a mask whenever being filmed IRL.
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Fred - A CHALLENGER APPEARS.
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Goronchev
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Greg Solomon - Christ punching old loon and arch frienemy of Renetto.
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Muffdaddy2 - Manatee Boy Love Association pundit, opinion shaper and guidance counselor.
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MysteryGuitarMan - So-called ED contributor, guitar virtuoso, intro creator, lover, hater.
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NiggaCalledSlickback
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Ray William Johnson - The biggest douchebag on YouTube.
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Renetto or Paul Robinett, aspiring Joseph McCarthy and holds the Guinness World Record for most uses of "YouTube" in a video.
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Rubeus Eden - Fucktard who can't understand why noone likes his non-Final Fantasy videos.
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Shaycarl
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Mr.safety aka Corey Williams
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Sxephil
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WHATTHEBUCKSHOW - Fag
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TheNationofJohnnyKSome nigger who makes videos about shit that nobody cares about FOR ATTENTION.
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GNRandSTP911- Pedophile and a douchebag at times. (Therefore bringing epic Lulz!) WATCH HIS VIDEOS NOW!
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Mewstarri-Bitches don't know how well she sings!
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[1] Another wigger idiot. Extra points if you refer to him as a punk ass bitch!
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TheJoeFrom1993 - A homosexual fifteen-year-old attention camwhore from New Zealand.
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Freya9406 It's Meowbark! Has no videos, though.
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Metalmouth44 (Now Killingspreeprod1) - An egofag who keeps making rants on anyone who makes videos that he doesn't like or that makes fun of him. He recently made a video where he protected his secret love by the name of Christian Weston Chandler, but removed it since he went emo due to all the comments telling him that his video was shit. Now he is making shitty ass movie reviews that nobody gives a fuck about.
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youllis - Obsessed Lady Gaga fan who sings Morrisey covers and originals to Gaga, believing she listens to them. Addresses her directly in video descriptions.
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1xxykiwi4Life
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AdventxAngel A 24 year old faggot who thinks he's Laharl and other various animu characters. He roleplays in his profile and trolls people.
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Audreynoland
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Boxxy
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Casey Nunez aka the psycho hurricane
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Cheryl Shuman - Banned over 9,000 times.
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ChibiFighter Fag lover, those who disagree get the pipe to the face.
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Dan144x
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Graeme Stephen Tucker
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HellionExciter
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Makemebad35 - Crazy Fuck+Bad Acting= Isn't enough to describe him..
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mr pregnant
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OneLessGod - Murderous Atheist
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Reubnick
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Shibart
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Sorantheman A dumbass 18 year old newfag who creates troll fail videos. Sucks at trolling and is an epic fail. Loves to fap off to RandomDCE, Bigal2k6 and Spazkid's videos. Calls everyone "newfags" when he don't know how to troll right. He also keeps jumping on bandwagons in order to gain attention like the little faggot that he is.
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TheRedSkull
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zerowolf64 17 year old fat faggot who thinks his life's work can only be through machinima.
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AngryLittleGiri
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audreynoland
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Bravesgirl5
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Greenteagirlie
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Katiesopinion
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Lexi Bee
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Meekakitty
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MissHannahMinx - Goth weeaboo with big tits
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Tabby - Blonde Boxxy.
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Tammyslut
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Argent009
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Chris-Chan
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Confectionary Bandit
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DaxFlame
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Fatman
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GayDiamond
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Pruane2Forever A young lad who has taken inspiration from goronchev and has declared his hatred of porn.
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Paul Fetch
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Peter Coffin
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Rootbrian
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SUPERCOOLWILLOW - English retard forced to sing pop songs while being recorded.
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This guy
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Alexander4488
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Everyone knows that, you silly little thing.
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Applemilk1988
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boh3m3
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Blunty3000
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Cropperb
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FilthyWhore
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Morbeck
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Sxephil
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Andy Milonakis
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AngryLittleGiri
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baltimark
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Blunty3000
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Boh3m3
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Bravesgirl5
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Brookers
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Damien Estreich
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DiGiTiLsOuL
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Emmalina
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Filthywhore
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Geriatric1927
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Katiesopinion
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Kimberleigh
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Lazydork
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MarioMario54321
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Miarose
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Morbeck
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Paperlilies
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Perezhilton
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Pigslop
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rrdrums110
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Mr. Safety
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TheHill88
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Thewinekone
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TonyStockert
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Williamsledd
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I saw the light, hur hur hur.
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Militant Fundamentalist Christians
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Angry Homo Kid
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christianhillbilly
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ItsAboutJesus
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JezuzFreek777
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Geerup
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NephilimFree
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Preacher717
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ShockofGod
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Tony48219 -Psycho fundie who murdered a girl.
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VenomFangX
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VyckRo
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yokeup
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Militant Fundamentalist Atheists
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I saw the plight, so I went to McDonald's.
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Brett Keane
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CapnOAwesome (Tried to remove himself from this list)
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HardCaseOwnsYou
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Inmendham
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MannixThePirate (some parasite sucking off TheAmazingAtheist's subscribers)
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OneLessGod
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patcondell
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SaturnineFilms
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TheAmazingAtheist
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Thunderf00t
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Pekka-Eric Auvinen
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LittleMissKit
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Tony48219
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Copyright Bullshit
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Typical YouTube drama.
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Life cycle of a YouTuber who uploads videos.
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A billion dollar hissyfit.
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powerful706 has 33413 subscribers and none of them are watching his shit.
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100 years ago, YouTube was a haven for pirates, who made it totally awesome for us by outweighing the camwhore shit with almost every anime, TV show and porno movie you could think of. But then, one day, some faggot from Viacom whined about everyone spreading a clip of The Daily Show all over the internets and the shitstorm began.
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As a result, YouTube became Nazis and decided to wipe off every piece of copyrighted material they could find, including those taken with a shitty webcam. Although few of these remain, millions of AMVs remained untouched. YouTube also loves to pwn any account that has hosted these video clips, just for the lulz, but the so-called "offenders" would come back anyway and post their shit again.
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Update:
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YouTube has now implemented an automatic pwning device to take out copyright material. The system functions by identifying code in your uploads. For example if you were to download some other useless video off of YouTube then upload it directly YouTube would reject it automatically. It can also detect other profanities such as severe violence, gore, nudity, and Trevor Rieger.
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Another Update:
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YouTube has implemented a system where, in certain countries, you may or may not be able to view certain videos based on arbitrary legal restrictions. Oh noes, British users can no longer watch music videos, which is total bullshit!!!!!!!!
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But then, how?
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PROTIP:
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1. Get the whole address of the video (like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbaTur4A1OU)
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2. Go to here
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3. Paste the address to the textbox
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4. press OK, then select a link to download, and download the video
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5. watch it, and laugh at the copyrightfags
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6. ????
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7. PROFIT!
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The DMCA
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YouTube is likely the biggest worldwide hub for DMCA abuse on the entire internet, as well as home to the endless debate that has resulted from it. Since the site's inception there have been endless diatribes concerning DMCA abuse by individuals who are clearly oblivious as to the actual legislation. This is usually because most people on YouTube who fancy themselves "vloggers" are un-photogenic self-involved highschool dropouts who would rather whine about The Man than face the reality of their own ignorance.
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If you get a video removed or you get banned by someone filing a false DMCA, here's some clarification for complete and utter retards:
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Upon receiving a properly formatted take-down notice YouTube will remove content regardless. Despite common misconceptions of complete idiots, YouTube does not check your content to verify whether it is infringing of others' copyrights, nor does the site make value judgments on content or whether it is infringing. If YouTube did this they would themselves become liable. If you have something removed you must either:
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Drop your own dox in a properly formatted DMCA counter-notice to prove you were right and restore the content. It's pretty fucking easy if you're not a complete retard, just click on copyright at the bottom of YouTube and follow the steps.
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Provide a fake DMCA counter-notice anyway. It doesn't matter how much you bullshit, as long as you file any kind of counter-claim then YouTube HAS to put your content back up within two weeks. At that point the only way another party can then have your content removed legally is to pursue their interests in a court of IRL law in the US or through the international courts. PROTIP - you are not testifying in court at this point so there's no risk facing perjury charges, you pansy.
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The DMCA is intended to protect intellectual property - not to remove objectionable content. This is perhaps the most fundamental misunderstanding of the DMCA - this and complete ignorance of applicability the "Fair Use" clause of The Act. But because YouTube is, and always will be, inhabited by clueless low-lifes who would rather the site remain a hugbox, there are always those who will be willing to perjure themselves to save their fragile psyche the torment of criticism.
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Putting something stupid like "NOTICE I DO NOT OWN NICKELODEON STUDIOS" on your uploads of Spongebob episodes does not give you the legal right to upload them. Pointing out the fact that you don't have the intellectual property rights to the content that you uploaded without permission is like a black person riding around town holding up a sign that says "I DO NOT OWN THIS BIKE" and thinking that makes stealing it legal.
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No one made you upload anything in the first place, dumbfuck. If your shitty vlog got taken down by some butthurt aspie or batshit furfag then fucking cry moar faggot.
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People that bitch about Fair Use & DMCA in their video descriptions as a preemptive strike against takedown are hilariously easy to troll. The best part is that their belief in themselves as experts in the legal system means they will keep responding with long-winded ragefits about how they have the constitutional right to upload pirate copies of TV shows and movies. When you get tired of making them dance like an e-puppet for your amusement, simply email a link to the copyright owner (most studios have a link on their website for legal notices) - be polite and brief, you're not doing it for their sake but for lulz. Within a day or so the videos will be taken off YouTube, and your victim will spend the next week crying under their bed because they not only lost their precious view count, but they were proven utterly wrong on the internet.
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YouTube as a Corporation
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Have you ever wondered why YouTube doesn't seem to respond to your queries (once you've jumped through enough hoops just to contact them, that is) or why they do not seem to care about the average user? If you've ever wondered why YouTube doesn't seem to care about your videos being removed or flagged, your unjust banning, someone harassing you, technical glitches, suggestions for improving the site, or just about any valid appeal, well...here's your answer:
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Google is simply far too busy making money off of others work to care about any supposed YouTube "Community". Dollars and sense baby.
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This video, shown below, shows the dirty secrets of YouTube as a corporation. For instance, nearly all popular YouTube videos are made by private companies. One of the many of these companies is, Hi-Arts Entertainment; they create videos for 27 of the top 90 YouTube celebrities. You pay them 36% of the profits and they make your scripts, edit your videos, and upload it. Another thing is how all the popular people on YouTube use the technique Faking The Suspension.
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The Banhammer
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Every troll should feel the long hard shaft of the banhammer at least once.
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YouTube punishment is usually a form of ban from the service implemented by deleting the guilty party's account. However, it remains unclear how long the suspension lasts since YouTube doesn't know how to use email unless it deals with an idle DMCA threat. Some suggest a YouTuber's IP address may be blocked from the server to prevent them from creating another account, sometimes indefinitely. These actions are thought to be invoked for such offenses as violating YouTube's Terms of Service, trolling Renetto, jerking off on cam while smoking a Cuban cigar, disrespecting Mia, or promoting illegal acts. If you have been IP banned for TOS violations you will get the following message if you try and register an account:
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If you get this message you got IP banned, bitch.
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This ban is purely for the creation of accounts - if you create a new account via proxy, YouTube does not re-ban you if you go back to the regular one.
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The truth is that unless you do anything that would attract the attention of law enforcement, most trolls can return immediately after they've been suspended and (most of the time) aren't even IP banned. That is, of course, unless you were stupid enough to put your face on cam. YouTube has demonstrated thus far that their policies towards banning users has been, and continues to be, arbitrary at best over the last 4 years. This is because certain users/vloggers have demonstrably been given the dreaded perma-ban and are never allowed to return, whilst others are banned yet are allowed to return without hindrance (i.e. Theboringdispatcher, Warren25smash, etc.) This means there is an arbitrary discrepancy between a perma-ban and a regular ban and you'll never know which the mongoloids on the YouTube staff have randomly decided to give you.
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For DMCA violations there is a 3-strike rule in place, but the details surrounding this policy are still sketchy. For example, some people have had 3 videos removed in one instance but are not banned, others have been banned for 3 separate occasions. YouTube's employment of this "policy" has been about as straightforward as their arbitrary TOS bans mentioned above.
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Some countries like Turkey, however, banned YouTube to show them who the real boss is.
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Update
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YouTube has made policy changes regarding bannings. Accounts can now be "muted" for certain periods of time for TOS violations or breaches of "Community Guidelines". Being "muted" doesn't mean your account is banned, it means that you may or may not be able to upload content, post comments, or interact with your account during your mute period. As a result of the changes they have somewhat relaxed their policy towards breaches of "Community Guidelines" and TOS, but not for DMCA violations - you're shit out of luck if you were banned for those.
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Read more on the YT Blog.
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YouTube View Fraud
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View fraud is the most obvious when new users with no subscribers do it. This video has 16 comments, rated 62 times and has 185,000+ views. VPC: 11,572. Link to video.
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YouTube has had, and will continue to have, a long history of users gaming the system: scammers, frauds, and desperate attention whores all competing for attention of the average moron to give them a solitary click on their video. Some do a little more than this though, and take extreme measures to abuse the system and garner views.
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For moar info see the article on YouTube View Fraud
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YouTube as explained by Sen. Ted Stevens
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YouTube is not a big truck either.
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YouTube is a very great tube, on it you can see people who have made moving pictures, and put their moving picture through a bunch of gigawatts, and gilgabites, until it is on YouTube's tubes. These tubes can be viewed by other chaps and can be put on other tubes, so whether you're watching a moving picture about flying machines or the new telegraph, you can always receive jollys at YouTube, and have a gay ol' time.
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YouTube Comments
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Typical channel comment.
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The only comments Doobish will ever get.
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Typical YouTube argument.
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The "comments" section on every video was created with the intention of viewers to post their thoughts and opinions about any given video. Sadly, this section will ALWAYS invariably lead to a rant about race, politics, religion, or other anti-lulz shit by some fag claiming to be an exec of a large corporate business, who somehow manages to find some time in their busy schedule to whine, bitch, moan, and argue for hours on the internet with other retards, converting a comments section of a video site into a makeshift forum. These "comments" are always responded to by similar basement dwellers and 12 year olds, sparking a great debate, one which is seemingly decided by the vocabulary and amount of technical terminology used by either party, otherwise known as intellectual checkmate. It is also notable that many comments are simply a reiteration of the video's content, repeated by viewers not unlike a flock of psychotic parrots.
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Typical YouTube account.
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Jew hates lions.
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YouTubers engaging in intelligent conversation.
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This was by no accident, but by YouTube's design. YouTube has secret random nonsensical wordfilters (the help pages just say to try rewording your comment) that just make comments not show up and give no error message or explanation and one's well though-out comment text is then intentionally, forcibly lost through YouTube's Javascript forms so that after losing a long, thought-out comment that took 30 minutes to make, and several times in a row, people eventually just write, "YOUR A FAGGIT".
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In Spring 2010, YouTube decided to troll its members further by improving the video page and comments section. This has lead to a nearly unprecedented amount of NERDRAGE and butthurt with over 9000 users threatening to leave Jewtube forever. Google YouTube has yet to offer a satisfactory reason behind this change but we shall keep you posted as this shit storm develops.
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Every Comment Ever Made
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Susbcribers don't mean a fucking thing.
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Every comment ever made by idiots on YouTube include:
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you wasted 5 mins of my life. (Regardless of how long the actual video is.)
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thumbs up if X!!! xD
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Advertisements suck (regardless of what it is)
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The X amount of people who disliked this are ______.
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Ytwatchdog touched you with his PINGAS!
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lul
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YHUR JUST JELOUS OV (Name of Person your making fun of, ex. Justin Bieber) BCUZ HE HAZ MOAR SUBZ/ALL THE GURLS LUV HEIM!!!!!1!
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PINGAS
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FEDOR WOULD KICK BROCK LESNAR'S ASS
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BROCK LESNAR WOULD KICK FEDOR'S ASS
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YOUR GRAMMAR SUCKS! GO BACK TO SCHOOL!
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this song is so much better than Justin Bieber's shit.
 +
"I only came here because it was just on (name TV program the YouTube video was just referenced on). lulz"
 +
"RIP MJ"
 +
"FUCK WMG"
 +
"First."
 +
"sick"
 +
"This song is dirtier than an African kid's foot, bro."
 +
"THIS VIDEO MADE ME A MAN"
 +
"Any sane person would not believe in God."
 +
"Where are her parents???"
 +
"HAHA nice video man, I laughed hard, check out mine and make sure to subscribe"
 +
"FUCK, I know. but hey, do you want to watch FREE TV on ur PC? Just g0 2 (insert website name here)"
 +
"I want the (exact length of video) of my life back"
 +
"And I jizzed in my pants."
 +
"Pwned"
 +
"WATCH:;'FREE,MOVIES,.,ONLINE­!,``WWW.WATCHFULLMOVIES4.TK"
 +
"CL1CK_MY_NAM3_and_watch-my_vid­­eoturoial_on_how-to-DOWNL0AD-­t­his_great-game_and-other-PC-­PS­3-XBOX360-and-PSP-games-FOR­-FREE"
 +
"^ GET=THIS=GAME=AND=OTHER=PC/PS3­/XBOX360/PSP=FOR=FREE=AT=MY=SI­TE=NO=REGISTRATION/SUBSCRIPTIO­N=REQUIRED.>JUST=CLICK=MY=NAME­<"
 +
"LOL OWNED LIKE A BITCHSLAPPED GINGER KID"
 +
"SUB 4 SUB?"
 +
"COOL STORY, BRO!".
 +
"FIND HAWT GIRLS AT CAMAZON DOT COM!"
 +
"SEXY GIRLS AT CAMZHOME DOT COM!"
 +
"9/11 TRUTH OMGZ BUSH DID IT!"
 +
"FAIL"
 +
"OMG THAT IS SOOO WRONG"
 +
"W0W SHE REALLY NEEDS T0 FORGET AB0UT iT AND L00K F0R S0ME0NE BETTER THEN J0E!"
 +
"Copy & paste if you like this video"
 +
"Get a life bitch!!"
 +
"Your gay"
 +
"SEE PROFILE"
 +
"Jews did WTC"
 +
"LAWL PAUSE AT 00:26"
 +
"RON PAUL REVOLUTION"
 +
"AMERICANS SUCK!"
 +
"AMERICANS RULE!"
 +
"OMG SO HILARIOUS! LOL!"
 +
"FAKE!!!!!!!!!"
 +
"fake and gay"
 +
"PLZ DON'T READ One day a young girl was killed in a car crash. If you do not post this comment 20 times in the next 10 seconds she will kill you when you go to sleep"
 +
"WHAT SONG IS THIS?"
 +
<transcribe the punchline of the joke in the video here>
 +
YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS
 +
Ron Paul 2012
 +
GET A LIFE AND A GIRLFRIEND A HUR HUR HURRR
 +
NIGGER (Automatic if the video has a black person)
 +
IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS [MOVIE/TV SHOW/TOPIC/BOOTY GIRL/KIND OF PORN] DON'T WATCH IT HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
 +
The middle finger copy/paste that people do just because the autistic kids want to fit in with everyone else who dislikes the movie.
 +
If your family is craving something delicious tonight, cum in a frying pan, put on low until the cum caramelizes and add a delicious layer of chilled diarrhea over top. Let the diarrhea cook until the consistency of scrambled eggs and than fill your rectum with sulfur and kerosene and spray it all over the pan. You may want to stand on a stool above the stove while adding the mix. Garnish with grade A long-cut foreskins and voila!!! A great tasty meal the entire family can enjoy!
 +
"IF U DON'T LIKE THE SONG THEN DON'T LISTEN TO IT LIKE HOLY FUCKK!!!!!!!!"
 +
"You can't play the song right. You're one 36th of a beat off which is very obvious to musical gods like me. LEARN SOME TEMPO N0OB!!!!"
 +
"COME TO <INSERT COUNTRY NAME> AND I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"
 +
"OMG RICK ROLL'D XD"
 +
"Juggalos rule!"
 +
Gay Thuggin 4 Life
 +
"O.B.A.M.A: One Big Ass Mistake America!!"
 +
"yer a nerd"
 +
"Come and say that shyt to mah face Byotch!"
 +
"This video makes my balls soft and my anus sting."
 +
"Go fuck ur brother u dum motherfucker and eat ur muther's yogurt with turkay meat u dirty white nygga wit no like that lives in tha basement wit a mouse stuck up that ass and burger grease leakin from your cunt you fukin transsexual."
 +
"Please, learn to fucking spell. Thank You."
 +
"STFU Family Guy is the best show ever and way better than South Park. If you don't like Family Guy why bother commenting?"
 +
(Topic) sux lololol (Other Topic) iz wayyyy better!!1!!!1
 +
Did he/she/it die?
 +
"...Only the time will tell us if he will be a real jenious..." (ACTUAL QUOTE)
 +
"Dude.....that's some screwd up siht" (copypasta)
 +
"Look!, "example of user is better then you" as the other "example of user" is right, don't fucking continue replying, give it up already, you can't win".
 +
FAGGOT! (automatic on Adam Lambert music videos)
 +
"If your not going to listen to me, don't reply or watch my videos".
 +
"Obama is the Antichrist!".
 +
"I win against your argument, since reading this, I already disabled my comments on this video". - Typical.
 +
"look at whose talking...stephen ..what ever his name is oh yeah i got ti..stephan slave...thinks he can write..psh..getta lyfe dude..and stop hating on stephenie's skillz..".
 +
"The Simpsons are better, don't watch Family Guy, it's random.
 +
"This looks shopped, I can tell by the pixels".
 +
"KILUMANATI"
 +
"OMG, YUORE SICK. I HOPE (Insert fatality description here) HAPPENNS TO YOU DICK".
 +
"Watch The Obama Deception"
 +
"omgz i love the jonas brothers! ill bet ur music sucks! ur just jealous bcuz there hot and ur not!"
 +
YOU FUCKING WHORE! THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE THE WORST BAND EVAR! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT MUSIC! WHY SHOULD I BE JEALOUS OF THREE FAGGOTS WHO HAVE GAY SEX WITH EACH OTHER!?
 +
"Mexican"
 +
"Adding comments have been disabled for this video." Usually from a video that once contained a lot of negative comments which caused butthurt from the uploader.
 +
"Those crazy vaginas"
 +
"hey there have you noticed waht oneshot said om your channel he said that the earthquake in haiti has a multikill and that he plans to summon a nuke over 9000 to wipe out japan and taking haiti withh it and he finds more of the earthquake stuff horry to be laughable and funnt and that guy i am telling you he is aracist you better start to comment on his channel" Typical response to troll laughing at weeaboo killcount.
 +
"(Amount of dislikes) people are Justin Bieber fans."
 +
 
 +
UPDATE: On July 8th, 2009, YouTube admins decided to share some lulz by CENSORING ANY YOUTUBE COMMENT containing any profanity. The result included a shitstorm of hate and immediate bypass of the filter to vent their frustration (FU-CK YOU YOUTUBE N_IGGERS BLOCKING OUR F-UCKING USELESS AND IDIOTIC POSTS, ***-GOTS, I'LL SODOMIZE YOUR CHILDREN WITH A BASEBALL BAT). After a few hours, the ability to troll the comments in a regular fashion was re-instated, with censored material immediately becoming visible once again. Much confusion will ensue as people wonder wtf just happened and why their FUCKs' and SHITs' were covered in **** for a few hours.
 +
 
 +
Comment Audio Preview
 +
 
 +
Sometime in November 2008 YouTube ripped off an issue of xkcd by installing an "Audio Feedback" system that allows you to hear your comments read back to you before you post them. Naturally, this idea should have stayed in the realm of "Haha, what if?" because it's completely fucking useless in practice. The only real use for the device is to amuse one's self by typing ridiculous bullshit into the comment field to hear it read back to you by a robot with a speech impediment. This shit has never worked in the first place.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
The webcomic in question, which first aired in October '08.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Clearly, this is going to solve all the problems.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Wonder if the commenter will get the hint...
 +
 
 +
Every Video Ever Made
 +
 
 +
Need hits for your YouTube account? Now you have the power!
 +
 
 +
Grab a video of dogs looking sad
 +
???? = Set it to "Had a Bad Day" by Daniel Powter
 +
PROFIT!! AND FUCK YEA!!!
 +
Good alternatives to sad dogs are:
 +
 
 +
Pokemon Battles
 +
Cats falling over (steal from America's Funniest Home Videos)
 +
Mudkipz or other anime
 +
Totally random clip art
 +
AMVs
 +
Morbidly obese women dancing
 +
Linkin Park AMVs
 +
Linkin Park period.
 +
Halo games you lost
 +
People getting hit by trains
 +
Club Penguin for 3.3 million hits
 +
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jEGAiu4
 +
[http://www.youtube.com/confectionarybandit
 +
Disco songs that no one has heard before and/or gives a flying fuck about.
 +
Be like FRED and make a video of yourself being as irritating as fuck and/or make it high-pitched
 +
Five year old kid playing (song) on (instrument)
 +
Naruto AMV
 +
Craig Ferguson fan videos that n00bs think are visionary because they're set to Fall Out Boy songs and have actual footage of the band instead of nothing but clips.
 +
ANYTHING having to do with babies (which is an obvious hint)
 +
X SPED UP (also known as X SUNG BY CHIPMUNKS)
 +
X SLOWED DOWN
 +
X PLAYED BACKWARDS (with the claim of there being some hidden satanic message)
 +
Video containing *SPOILERS* of anything which turns out to be a rickroll
 +
YouTube Poop
 +
Someone doing something for five minutes.
 +
Vocaloid
 +
Sparta remix
 +
Any video that has "NOT A COMEDY" in the title
 +
LEAVE BRITNAH ALONE!!!!!
 +
How To Score Cheap Lulz On YouTube
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
YouTube = fail
 +
If you're in for some lulz, you've come to the right site. Usually go to any video which has a lot of views (suggestions would be a religious JewTubeer or some shit band videos) and just say something completely against the tide. Then a bunch of 13 year old boys will type furiously about how the internets is serious business. They'll probably send you a PM with some long bullshit about how you are wrong. Here is a generic statement for you to use:
 +
 
 +
"This is a total rip-off of ______________ (insert old band or movie name)"
 +
 
 +
Better yet, if the original poster of the video is the type to actually respond to each and every comment he gets with a long argument which fills the text limit, well you can say the most racist, sexist, bigoted comments imaginable and they will respond with accusations of trolling while also flaming you back as if they think you typed those comments in the height of serious-ity. Find a user like this and you will find yourself uttering the phrase "He's responding, he's responding, I cant believe he's responding."
 +
 
 +
The first step in getting any lulz in the above fashion first centers upon finding a tuber you don't like.
 +
But don't worry...you will. (In fact, it's damn near impossible not to.)
 +
 
 +
Most YouTube users will get butthurt over just about anything, which makes them perfect troll targets. Here are some examples of YouTube butthurt and what usually happens as a result of it:
 +
 
 +
Someone leaves a negative comment on one of their videos (which usually results in an endless series of video responses in which they try to "destroy" each other.)
 +
They get their videos removed or their account suspended (which usually results in a major boycott plan to not log onto YouTube for an ENTIRE DAY!!!11!)
 +
The ToS gets more strict (see above).
 +
Cloning
 +
 
 +
A person who makes a YouTube account exactly the same but they replace the l with I or replace the I with l. If the YouTube account doesn't contain those letters than the person cannot be cloned. Clones also must clone the listed friends and make a copy of the person's YouTube videos. Another popular method is copy and pasting the original person's profile. Clones work when the person closes the account as well because then if you close the clone account and spam someone they will think it's the person you're cloning that did the spamming. You can also use clone to disguise as someone to become an admin of a stream. Then you can ban every moderator in the stream when nobody is in there. As you can tell this can cause mass confusion.
 +
 
 +
Example: Here's an original channel and here's its clone.
 +
 
 +
Here is another original channel and here is the clone.
 +
 
 +
There is currently a Clone Wars raging amongst a faction of dedicated trolls and YouTube user Beamshipcaptain. The original declaration of war was made in October 2009 by now banned clone leader "TheBeamshipCaptain".
 +
 
 +
Several other trolls have now taken arms and created clone accounts. There are currently at least 10 clone accounts, ranging from BeamshipsRevenge to MorganshipCaptain, and randombeamshipman(who is a hybrid of randomlaughingman and beamshipcaptain).
 +
 
 +
The clone armies will not rest untill the internets have been purged of these idiots.
 +
 
 +
The Subscriber Security Hole
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Another prime example of YouYube fucking up the page design
 +
Some time ago Anonymous discovered whoever coded YouTube sucks and left a security hole on their website for people to exploit. It involves a YouTube user's subscribers count on their profile page and how it can be exploited.
 +
 
 +
Here's how it works:
 +
 
 +
1) Subscribe to target user
 +
2) Unsubscribe
 +
3) Repeat
 +
4) ????
 +
5) PROFIT
 +
The first time a user subscribes, the subscribers count increments by 1, but does NOT increment any time you do it again. However, unsubscribing will decrement their count by 1. eBaum's World eventually found note of this and decided to attack Lonelygirl15's page and bring the count from tens of thousands of subscribers down to 0. It has also been done to her longface, Jew-nosed widow Danielbeast and other various YouTubers like Daxflame and VenomFangX. A script has also been developed to exploit this hole with about as much manpower as an Indian call center...but nobody can seem to locate it. The glitch was short lived before YouTube employees got off their asses and did something about it, but the whining from vloggers across the site was incessant and pointed for this short period as many users were upset about losing their honorz.
 +
 
 +
Update:
 +
 
 +
The YouTube staff finally got this shit fixed. Hallefuckingjulah, it only took them a year and a half.
 +
 
 +
Update:
 +
 
 +
There's was recently another gaping security hole based on the same principle. HURR DURR YEAH BOSS WE TOTALLY FIXED THAT SUBSCRIBER BUG.
 +
 
 +
Comment Security Hole
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Moar info: YouTube Independence Day.
 +
 
 +
July 4th, 2010, at 6:17 AM Eastern Time, the very first thread went up on Ebaumsworld' forums. Detailing a script that you could plug in to make your text red and scroll across the page. Soon, it was discovered that not only did this delete/hide all other comments besides yours, but that it rendered every button except the ones on the video itself as useless as a Brit's dick. Cries to infect the pages of Justin Bieber, Fred, and G4 were made. It was lulzy, all was well.
 +
 
 +
Then someone posted a thread on /b/.
 +
 
 +
Within the hour, a few new scripts had appeared, one would render the entire background black. Nothing except the video playing. Another would allow you to make fake message boxes when the page opened. But the third is where things get out of hand. The final one allowed you to redirect videos to anywhere on the internet. Combined with the now unflaggable videos, cp, gore, and porn in general began to popup disguised as "Justin Bieber - Baby," or "Lady Gaga - Poker Face."
 +
 
 +
Meanwhile, Ebaums was in its usual disorganized chaos. /v/ had started it all with a code obtained from /g/, then /b/ entered the picture due to /v/ and shit hit the fan. Moralfags came out in droves, /b/ was flooded with Jewtube Assault images. Everyone believed that the final battle between 4chan and YouTube was about to ensue. A new Ragnarok of the internet. Some said it was being taken to far, that innocent people would be v&. These people were, predictably, promptly ignored.
 +
 
 +
Obviously, YouTube kicked its shit into high gear. Three and a half hours in, "Safety Mode" was live. Opening the comments still activated the scripts as normal, but now they weren't automatic. The push was losing steam on 4chan, as more and more moralfags woke up and took time away from their mother's dried up teat to post their OUTRAGE. This bitch move thus draining morale on the shitposters even further.
 +
 
 +
In the aftermath, 4chan was blamed for the incident, as planned by the cock-lovers at EbaumsWorld. In reality, 4chan did not find the exploit.
 +
 
 +
Memes born from YouTube
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
YouTube is known by emos for its hurtful messages.
 +
Bus Uncle
 +
"Chocolate Rain"
 +
Dear Sister
 +
Garbage Day
 +
Grape Lady
 +
GreenTeaGirlie
 +
I Like Turtles
 +
IM PRESSIN CHARGES
 +
Intellectual Checkmate
 +
Interior Crocodile Alligator
 +
Old Gregg
 +
Tinaecmusic
 +
Tunak
 +
Yahweh
 +
300 - The series of billions of "LOL SPARTA REMIX GIF IMAGEZ" videos.
 +
Winnebago Man
 +
Epic Beard Man
 +
Cheeseburger Josh
 +
Keyboard Cat
 +
OMG Cat
 +
I'm 12
 +
Jessi Slaughter
 +
YouTube Impersonators
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Apparently not.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Mods are monkeys?
 +
FeelMyTube
 +
 
 +
One of MANY porn knockoffs to be mentioned.
 +
 
 +
Beast Tube
 +
 
 +
It's where furfags go to fap. Do you even need to fucking ask?
 +
 
 +
Kissyoutube
 +
 
 +
Type in "kiss" before a YouTube video, and you can download it. Ex: www.youtube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching becomes www.kissyoutube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching.
 +
 
 +
Dailymotion
 +
 
 +
Dailymotion will one day replace YouTube for all your internets blogging needs. God Bless those Gay Frenchfags!
 +
 
 +
JewTube
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
It's fucking real
 +
A website comprised of Jewish-oriented user-generated content. JewTube was founded by Jeremy Kossen, a Los Angeles-based Jew that was afraid the domain would be used for lulz. Jewtube is also a great place to buy and sell blue-eyed gentile babies so you can crucify them for unknown Kabbalah rituals...
 +
 
 +
Oddly enough, Google is trying to out-jew the New York City based company NetParty for the use of the name "JewTube", on trademark grounds. Ironically, Google is headed by a trio of Nazis.
 +
 
 +
NSFW YouTube
 +
 
 +
Allows you watch YouTube videos that you need to be 18+ to view. Put nsfw in the address and you watch any video you want. Ex: www.youtube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching becomes www.nsfwyoutube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching.
 +
 
 +
Podblanc
 +
 
 +
http://podblanc.com/
 +
Racial or "racist" stuff that YouTube bans is allowed here...
 +
 
 +
Pornotube
 +
 
 +
If you don't like jacking off to emo videos and camwhores then Pornotube is for you! Just make sure to click on Straight Content before browsing, else you come upon an absolutely gay video of three guys jacking off on each other. Due to Pornotube's sorting algorithm you will probably be overwhelmed with cocks in the "straight" section as well. This is not a bug, you are a closet homosexual and they know.
 +
 
 +
Redtube
 +
 
 +
See Youporn
 +
 
 +
Shockingtube
 +
 
 +
A wannabe YouPorn site hosting a wide range of fucked-up shit of highly questionable legality and fagality in video format. Ex.Meatspin,BME Pain Olympics,Fred.
 +
 
 +
Trampletube
 +
 
 +
For sick fucks.
 +
 
 +
Vloggerheads
 +
 
 +
Renetto's answer to YouTube. Predicted to die before next Thursday. See the article for moar details.
 +
 
 +
Xtube
 +
 
 +
Xtube is a copycat of YouTube, but instead of regular shitty webcam videos, this has regular shitty webcam porno videos. The only thing that would make this less shitty is if it had less than 9,000 videos of your mom being blasted by some fag.
 +
 
 +
http://www.xtube.com/play_re.php?v=7viFI-S122-
 +
The lollercaust will be televised. Or not.
 +
 
 +
It's also the only YouTube pornographic impostor to have a furfag community.
 +
 
 +
YouJizz
 +
 
 +
This site has porn (duh) but it mostly contains guys blowing their loads on some random whores face.
 +
 
 +
Youporn
 +
 
 +
This site is for horny 13 year old boys with no life and an obvious addiction to cumming on their computer screens.
 +
 
 +
EmpFlix
 +
 
 +
Normal porn, of reasonable length and quality for people who don't masturbate to car-accidents. Not for 4chan.
 +
 
 +
Yuvutu
 +
 
 +
Yet another 3rd rate porno knockoff.
 +
 
 +
Outube
 +
 
 +
A porn website that was made in case little kids accidentally misspelled YouTube. After many complaints the website was changed so it looks nothing like YouTube.
 +
 
 +
88tube
 +
 
 +
88=HeilHitler+Tube=...take a guess! Has racial music on the front page currently.
 +
 
 +
http://www.88tube.net/Not anymore!
 +
Godtube
 +
 
 +
Well it's not for atheists so just take a guess.
 +
 
 +
http://godtube.com/
 +
Yiffytube
 +
 
 +
The furries got tired of websites with no furry porn so they made their own YouTube clone dedicated to only furry videos.
 +
 
 +
Typical YouTube Clips
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 +
Previous Video  |  Next Video
 +
 
 +
Quotes
 +
 
 +
Encyclopediadramatica, Renetto, Smosh & More!
 +
 
 +
 +
“  
 +
All I have got to say is, EncyclopediaDramatica.com is the best fucking website on the internet, hands down
 +
 +
 +
— RoccosHouse
 +
 
 +
A Message to ED
 +
 
 +
 +
“  
 +
Write in more MGM is gay references
 +
 +
 +
— MysteryGuitarMan
 +
 
 +
Google Search an stuff
 +
 
 +
 +
“  
 +
I actually went and did a Google search on myself. The first place I came to was Encyclopedia Dramatica
 +
 +
 +
— DiGiTiLsOuL
 +
 
 +
YOUTUBE, LISTEN UP!!! NO HIDING, HEAR ME OUT!
 +
 
 +
 +
“  
 +
Not everyone on the Internet is a selfish prick, but, YouTube, you're a selfish prick.
 +
 +
 +
—Some tranny
 +
 
 +
Further Drama
 +
 
 +
The frequent battlecry YouTube posties fret over is its growing ties to the corporate media.
 +
Paul Robinett told the New York Post "It is starting to appear as though the regular guy doesn't have a chance on YouTube anymore. The majority of the content on YouTube belongs to people like me, yet they seem to be cutting deals with everyone that owns content but us."
 +
"I'm starting to feel some twinges of betrayal," said Ben Going (aka Boh3M3). They seem to be more money-oriented than I imagined."
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Efg doing what he does best on YouTube
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Previous Video  |  Next Video
 +
 
 +
YouTube's "Community Council"
 +
 
 +
Since Damien Estreich failed so epically at his job as an "advocate" for the community, YouTube, in an act of pure laziness, decided to create a "Community Council" to direct any complaints (because they are too busy making money) from the "community" to 5 users: Bravesgirl5, bradofarrell, sarrycrey, tlg847, Visblemode.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
tlg847 on Serious Business.
 +
Previous Video  |  Next Video
 +
 
 +
Update:
 +
 
 +
YouTube's officially sanctioned "Community Council" is now completely defunct.
 +
 
 +
YouTube RickRolls You
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
They did something even gayer the next year.
 +
On April Fools Day, 2008, the fags at JewTube redirected all featured video links to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, hoping users would applaud JewTube for its originality and suck its e-cock. This pathetic attempt at an April Fools joke "fooled" nearly one hundred thousand people, attempting to milk an already dead meme for everything it's worth. Not since Carson Daily Rickrolled his own audience on national television or the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has there been such blatant faggotry. Update: Someone actually managed to top it.
 +
 
 +
YouTube's New Channel Designs
 +
 
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Proof that YouTube's new channel design is shit
 +
In 2009, YouTube started changing everyone's channels and renamed them GooTube beta. In July, they made it fully mandatory.
 +
 
 +
Features of the new design:
 +
 
 +
90% of the links and buttons on your channel page are JavaScript. None of them work except in IE 4.0 with security features completely off and only version 4.0.
 +
No one can view your videos, your favorites, etc.
 +
Channel comments links. For instance if your YouTube username is http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum , your link to view the next series of comments is the broken link http://www.youtube.com/user/&start=10 . You have to correct YouTube's own faulty HTML by editing their link and making it http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum&start=10 .
 +
YouTube's initial blog about the changes has received nothing but complaints from the "YouTube Community" and their "help" forums have had the same reaction to the faulty beta design since early Spring. YouTube never fixed any of the problems with their shitty design and has now decided to make the new channel design mandatory and only old accounts from before the changeover are allowed to retain their oringal look. This is YouTube's way of proving that none of their employees have ever visited their own website.
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YouTube 2010
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You're just piling fail on top of fail now.
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US Government robots collude with YouTube to block unwanted facts which they "copyrighted."
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YouTube Wants Your Dox
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 +
So some of you might have thought that in 5 years of YouTube's clueless administration they couldn't possibly make worse decisions than they already have; well it turns out you were very fucking wrong. YouTube has now made new changes that have nerds raging again:
 +
 
 +
They implemented an "account verification" system, demanding you give them a fucking cell phone number just to open an account. This is by far the queerest change they've made in years. The days of being able to set up socks at lightning speed are over and it means they're fewer and harder to come by. So enjoy your fucking txt spam and telemarketers if you sign up for a new one. Sidenote: There have actually been reports that YouTube doesn't always seem to ask for this during sign-up, but this is a myth at this point.
 +
They changed the video page layout towards a crack-baby interface, moving shit around and implementing like/dislike ratings rather than the old star system, they also added some a faggy 'autoplay' list of assumingly related shit to the right that nobody can figure out.
 +
Fucked up the comment system, again.
 +
They have now implemented subscription limits. The number of subscriptions you can have is somehow derived from the number of subscribers you have.
 +
 
 +
 
 +
Just some of the thousands of comments that express rage at the new layout.
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The thing is, now older YouTube accounts (ones from the first half of 2007 or earlier) are at a premium because these accounts are unique in that:
 +
 
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They do not require the new layout and are thusly much less faggy. - they've now been assimilated too
 +
They are able to upload vids over 10 minutes.
 +
They have less ass in general.
 +
Rest assure these are just a taste of the shittyness YouTube has in store for us this year.
 +
 
 +
Go! Animate
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Youtube thought it would be funny to let intelligent individuals express their deep emotional insights into life with a very sophisticated animation creating tool.
 +
 
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Go! Animate
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As you can see from this example, most of these animations are hilarious.
 +
Related Articles
 +
 
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A Message From Chad and Steve
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YouTube Staff
 +
YouTube Ratings
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YourTubeNews
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The Kewl Kids
 +
YouTube Civil War
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YouTube Poop
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YouTube Furry War
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Young Tubers United
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YouTube Nobodies
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YouTube Independence Day
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YouTube Street Team - See also YouTube Vigilantes.
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YouTube View Fraud
 +
Operation Yewtube
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Operation YouTube
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Vloggerheads
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Deleting your YouTube Videos
 +
Let's Play with YouTube
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Haters
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Censorship
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Unrealistic expectations on YouTube
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Unwarranted self-importance
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Everything is Terrible!
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ED Singers
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Youflood
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¯\(°_o)/¯
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Templates for EDiots:
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{{ytseries}}
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{{youtube2}}
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{{youtube}}
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{{fv}}
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{{frame}}
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External Links
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The Official YouTube channel - Just a tad AIDSy
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The YouTube Blog
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YouTube on Facebook
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YouTube on Twitter
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YouTube on Stickam ENTER WITH CAUTION
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YourTubeNews on Myspace
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Other links:
 +
YouTube being blocked in "Free Countries"
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TedCrusty YouTube Phenomenon
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The 5 Most Popular YouTube Pages (Are All Retarded)
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Some fine examples of Les Tubes:
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The first YouTube video evar
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An old meme reading old memes
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this sums up YouTubeStickamChat
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Typical YouTube Video
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Fucktard makes an idiot of himself on teh internets (see Numa numa)
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How to use YouTube as explained one serious douchebag (Jackdanyells)
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YouTube is fascist?
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Sad Fat Juggalo Has Opinions.
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youtube promotes yiffing
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troll this nao
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YouTube is part of a series on
 +
YouTube
 +
Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage.
 +
 
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Other Portals: BNA • ChanLOLogy • Chans • deviantART • Faggotry • Furfaggotry
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Gaming • LiveJournal • Memes • Music • Sex • Softwarez • Trolls • Truth • Wikipedia • YouTube
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YouTube is part of a series on
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Trolls
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Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.
 +
 
 +
Other Portals: BNA • ChanLOLogy • Chans • deviantART • Faggotry • Furfaggotry
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Gaming • LiveJournal • Memes • Music • Sex • Softwarez • Trolls • Truth • Wikipedia • YouTube
 +
 
 +
£€ YouTube is a part of a series on Money $¥
 +
Companies Adobe • Amazon • Apple • AT&T • Bell • Burger King • Comcast • Disney • eBay • Fox News • Google • IBM • IKEA – Microsoft • McDonald's • MTV • Nintendo • Novell • Oracle Corporation • PayPal • Sony • Sun Microsystems • T-Mobile • Verizon • Viacom • Wal-Mart • Wikia • Yahoo • YouTube
 +
People Steve Chen • Lyor Cohen • Bill Gates • Chad Hurley • L. Ron Jeremy • Steve Jobs • Gregory Kohs • Bernie Madoff • Larry Sanger • Hal Turner • Jimbo Wales
 +
Ideology / Politics Bailout Plan • Capitalism • Communism • Globalisation • Government • Health Care Rage • Iceslave • Judaism • Karl Marx • Obamacare • Ron Paul • Ayn Rand • Randroid • Socialist • Ronald Reagan • Welfare • Zeitgeist Movement • Zeitgeist - The Movie
 +
Selling Advertising • Bribery • Extreme Advertising • Billy Mays • Porn Advertisements • Shamwow • Spam • Subservient Chicken • Winnebago Man • George Zimmer
 +
Topics 419 Nigerian Email Scams • The Dot.Com Bubble • Economist • Economy • Foreign Girlfriend • Internet money • Jew Gold • Money • Poor • Profit • Rape dollars • Scientology

Revision as of 10:26, 16 April 2011

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YouTube

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Most important video on youtube:


Typical YouTube user.


Typical YouTube comment.


Yet another Typical YouTube user.


The Guy Below...


YouTube's sick sense of irony


How to become a YouTube partner: Just follow this example!


YouTube's new rating. I'm serious, go see.


WTF YouTube was here earlier than 2005.

YouTube (sometimes called Jewtube) is a place where every illiterate fucktard on the internet converges. It is also a crappy video site, which is just as bad as Break.com in all manners of fugly girls posing, noobs, drag queens posing, fantards, clips from gay animes, old memes, and goth/emo videos. Practically everything in the "most viewed" and "top rated" categories are either softcore porn, clips from shit tv shows or sporting events, YouTube Poop, weeaboo faggotry, politically incendiary crap, horny azns, stupid pet tricks, Soulja Boy, men measuring their manboobs (HOT!), Shitty uploads of music with lyrics that are all made in Windows Movie Maker, and let us not forget underage girls shaking their asses on camera, and everything else. YouTube is pure drama, the entire user base being full of overly-emotional morons who will whine, bitch, and moan at the slightest provocation. So much as a drawn picture of another user with the words "poopy head" on it will instantly cause a shit storm. YouTube's most loyal viewers include Juggalos, emos, and Jews. It is also wise to note that the YouTube fags find sarcasm to be scary and difficult for their underdeveloped brains to understand, so it is generally advisable (unless you are trolling the fucktards) not to use sarcasm as, like irony, it will cause a shitstorm within their mentally retarded heads.

It is important to note that YouTube was named by Time Magazine to be the best invention of 2006. Coming in second was a formula to prevent cervical cancer (No, srsly). Well, these are the same liberal fuckwits that labeled Finland as the #1 country in the world to live in, despite not providing any real evidence as to why. The sick fucks probably just like the legalized drugs, underaged girls, and lack of any real economic contributions to the world.

Last Thursday, Google bought out YouTube and renamed it GooTube beta, shortly thereafter the era of The Promised Land began. And on March 31st, the year of Our Lord 2010, they have made their beta the inescapable face of the site, completely sealing their content in a vast cavern of fail. Nice job shitting where you eat, faggots. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS, THEY CHANGED IT BACK.

Unless you're hurting their e-feelings, YouTube users adore absolutely any wretched shit uploaded to their site at all. Many people like to upload hilarious videos of themselves and their friends doing something absolutely crazy like a silly dance, putting on a stupid hat, performing some asinine stunt or prank, or making a movie made of sheer faggotry for the internet to enjoy. YouTube is a website which enables every lonely and desperate low life to spend endless amounts of time pursuing some shred of E-fame whilst providing a home for all others to troll them. It really allows us all to grasp the power of online video communication.

YouTube is almost as shitty as Yahoo Answers in terms of faggotry. However, there is just a little more freedom to flame niggers due to the fact that Hitler doesn't absolutely own the site. On YouTube there are the typical emo faggots who QQ about their lives...(click here for example). These fags often end up on forums such as /B/ on 4chan. They are crap.

Typical Uses


The YouTubes is serious business!

an example of all the shit that noobs upload on the shit website known as 'youtube'. Beyond finding unfunny crap to watch and interesting news clips of internet dramaz, YouTube can also be used as a tool for queers to shove their faggotry down the throats of our great nation. Now remember... YouTube is basically just a free porn site for people (such as CommandoTheLion) with odd fetishes. Searching for "gay kiss" turns up more videos than you can shake a cock at. The ultimate pwnage for gheys is when a gay kiss video is taken down, since it gives them the opportunity to flare up and bitch about homophobia on the internets.

If you find yourself on a gay blog or MySpace and don't see any embedded gay kiss videos, you may rightfully claim 2 free internets from the site's owner. Don't hold out though, you're much more likely to find a straight furry or a diabetic who doesn't remind you of a rhinoceros.

How To Make A Good Youtube Video


Things First Time YouTube Browsers Should Know

You'll never be famous or even create a meme because the website is now basically a Hulu promo with intermittent retarded 16-year old girls who love Jesus plugging Jenny Craig. Within ten minutes of first clicking that link that brings you to YouTube, you will inevitably find someone whom you instantly hate with a burning passion. As a speciality: Goronchev lol account banhammered. There are no exceptions to this rule. If you like something, there is a strong possibility that someone is going to call you out on it and call you a _____ american. Every video that has comments has a comment which contains this "insult", guaranteed. If the above rule takes effect and the object of loathing is not a 9/11 conspiracy theorist, you are probably not on YouTube. Tell them it was done by pissed off Muslims no matter what you think for lulz. Yes, they have MST3K clips. Lots of them. F-YEAH. YouTube Users are known to complain about false copyright claims against them so they can get their shit videos and accounts back up so YouTube can feel sorry for them and to poke fun at the "haters" and/or act like a total faggot for at least 100 videos to get the point across. You will always need to make backup accounts to avoid flagging users just in case you are a troll. YouTube is an endless video war to see who can stroke their e-peen even higher and act like a victim most of the time. YouTube is Jew. It is mandatory for all fagtube videos to have a shitty intro (made with Microshit movie maker,(Queer ass music included)) that is longer than the video itself. Subscribers don't mean a damn thing. See figure 2 to the right. By all means do not post that comment about Family Guy!!! Post comments using this equation. (Number of dislkikes) people (Something that happened in the video) and watch your thumbs up SKYROCKET. It isn't that hard to become a prominent YouTube user.

Users

Prominent Citizens of YouTube

Dramatic YouTubers YouTube Egomaniacs Psychopathic YouTubers YouTube Bimbos YouTube Lolcows YouTube Panhandlers Now Irrelevant YouTubers Militant Fundamentalist YouTubers YouTube An heroes PAINmedia An insecure little shit who also fails at trolling. Troll the shit out of him! Seiran Watch out, YouTuber can be very butthurt Confectionary Bandit Crossmack CopperCab - Of GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS failfame. A fatass, pale, christian, ginger who flames at any slight anti-ginger thing. This fatass is what basically all gingers are. They also have no souls Goronchev PeppermintPatti / ItalianStallionette PixelBeeProductions Renetto Thedramatube YTwatchdog - Confirmed for Goodfag


DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION? AntiDisneyMovement Battim Boh3m3 - Frienemy and protege of Renetto. Chris Crocker - Thinks he should get a reality show because he decided to bitch and whine about Britney Spears. Chuggaaconroy - A famous Let's Play Loser who has so much of a massive ego he wears a mask whenever being filmed IRL. Fred - A CHALLENGER APPEARS. Goronchev Greg Solomon - Christ punching old loon and arch frienemy of Renetto. Muffdaddy2 - Manatee Boy Love Association pundit, opinion shaper and guidance counselor. MysteryGuitarMan - So-called ED contributor, guitar virtuoso, intro creator, lover, hater. NiggaCalledSlickback Ray William Johnson - The biggest douchebag on YouTube. Renetto or Paul Robinett, aspiring Joseph McCarthy and holds the Guinness World Record for most uses of "YouTube" in a video. Rubeus Eden - Fucktard who can't understand why noone likes his non-Final Fantasy videos. Shaycarl Mr.safety aka Corey Williams Sxephil WHATTHEBUCKSHOW - Fag TheNationofJohnnyKSome nigger who makes videos about shit that nobody cares about FOR ATTENTION. GNRandSTP911- Pedophile and a douchebag at times. (Therefore bringing epic Lulz!) WATCH HIS VIDEOS NOW! Mewstarri-Bitches don't know how well she sings! [1] Another wigger idiot. Extra points if you refer to him as a punk ass bitch! TheJoeFrom1993 - A homosexual fifteen-year-old attention camwhore from New Zealand. Freya9406 It's Meowbark! Has no videos, though. Metalmouth44 (Now Killingspreeprod1) - An egofag who keeps making rants on anyone who makes videos that he doesn't like or that makes fun of him. He recently made a video where he protected his secret love by the name of Christian Weston Chandler, but removed it since he went emo due to all the comments telling him that his video was shit. Now he is making shitty ass movie reviews that nobody gives a fuck about. youllis - Obsessed Lady Gaga fan who sings Morrisey covers and originals to Gaga, believing she listens to them. Addresses her directly in video descriptions. 1xxykiwi4Life AdventxAngel A 24 year old faggot who thinks he's Laharl and other various animu characters. He roleplays in his profile and trolls people. Audreynoland Boxxy Casey Nunez aka the psycho hurricane Cheryl Shuman - Banned over 9,000 times. ChibiFighter Fag lover, those who disagree get the pipe to the face. Dan144x Graeme Stephen Tucker HellionExciter Makemebad35 - Crazy Fuck+Bad Acting= Isn't enough to describe him.. mr pregnant OneLessGod - Murderous Atheist Reubnick Shibart Sorantheman A dumbass 18 year old newfag who creates troll fail videos. Sucks at trolling and is an epic fail. Loves to fap off to RandomDCE, Bigal2k6 and Spazkid's videos. Calls everyone "newfags" when he don't know how to troll right. He also keeps jumping on bandwagons in order to gain attention like the little faggot that he is. TheRedSkull zerowolf64 17 year old fat faggot who thinks his life's work can only be through machinima. AngryLittleGiri audreynoland Bravesgirl5 Greenteagirlie Katiesopinion Lexi Bee Meekakitty MissHannahMinx - Goth weeaboo with big tits Tabby - Blonde Boxxy. Tammyslut Argent009 Chris-Chan Confectionary Bandit DaxFlame Fatman GayDiamond Pruane2Forever A young lad who has taken inspiration from goronchev and has declared his hatred of porn. Paul Fetch Peter Coffin Rootbrian SUPERCOOLWILLOW - English retard forced to sing pop songs while being recorded. This guy Alexander4488


Everyone knows that, you silly little thing. Applemilk1988 boh3m3 Blunty3000 Cropperb FilthyWhore Morbeck Sxephil


Andy Milonakis AngryLittleGiri baltimark Blunty3000 Boh3m3 Bravesgirl5 Brookers Damien Estreich DiGiTiLsOuL Emmalina Filthywhore Geriatric1927 Katiesopinion Kimberleigh Lazydork MarioMario54321 Miarose Morbeck Paperlilies Perezhilton Pigslop rrdrums110 Mr. Safety TheHill88 Thewinekone TonyStockert Williamsledd


I saw the light, hur hur hur. Militant Fundamentalist Christians

Angry Homo Kid christianhillbilly ItsAboutJesus JezuzFreek777 Geerup NephilimFree Preacher717 ShockofGod Tony48219 -Psycho fundie who murdered a girl. VenomFangX VyckRo yokeup Militant Fundamentalist Atheists


I saw the plight, so I went to McDonald's. Brett Keane CapnOAwesome (Tried to remove himself from this list) HardCaseOwnsYou Inmendham MannixThePirate (some parasite sucking off TheAmazingAtheist's subscribers) OneLessGod patcondell SaturnineFilms TheAmazingAtheist Thunderf00t Pekka-Eric Auvinen LittleMissKit Tony48219

Copyright Bullshit


Typical YouTube drama.


Life cycle of a YouTuber who uploads videos.


A billion dollar hissyfit.


powerful706 has 33413 subscribers and none of them are watching his shit. 100 years ago, YouTube was a haven for pirates, who made it totally awesome for us by outweighing the camwhore shit with almost every anime, TV show and porno movie you could think of. But then, one day, some faggot from Viacom whined about everyone spreading a clip of The Daily Show all over the internets and the shitstorm began.

As a result, YouTube became Nazis and decided to wipe off every piece of copyrighted material they could find, including those taken with a shitty webcam. Although few of these remain, millions of AMVs remained untouched. YouTube also loves to pwn any account that has hosted these video clips, just for the lulz, but the so-called "offenders" would come back anyway and post their shit again.

Update:

YouTube has now implemented an automatic pwning device to take out copyright material. The system functions by identifying code in your uploads. For example if you were to download some other useless video off of YouTube then upload it directly YouTube would reject it automatically. It can also detect other profanities such as severe violence, gore, nudity, and Trevor Rieger.

Another Update:

YouTube has implemented a system where, in certain countries, you may or may not be able to view certain videos based on arbitrary legal restrictions. Oh noes, British users can no longer watch music videos, which is total bullshit!!!!!!!!

But then, how?

PROTIP:

1. Get the whole address of the video (like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbaTur4A1OU) 2. Go to here 3. Paste the address to the textbox 4. press OK, then select a link to download, and download the video 5. watch it, and laugh at the copyrightfags 6. ???? 7. PROFIT! The DMCA


YouTube is likely the biggest worldwide hub for DMCA abuse on the entire internet, as well as home to the endless debate that has resulted from it. Since the site's inception there have been endless diatribes concerning DMCA abuse by individuals who are clearly oblivious as to the actual legislation. This is usually because most people on YouTube who fancy themselves "vloggers" are un-photogenic self-involved highschool dropouts who would rather whine about The Man than face the reality of their own ignorance.

If you get a video removed or you get banned by someone filing a false DMCA, here's some clarification for complete and utter retards:

Upon receiving a properly formatted take-down notice YouTube will remove content regardless. Despite common misconceptions of complete idiots, YouTube does not check your content to verify whether it is infringing of others' copyrights, nor does the site make value judgments on content or whether it is infringing. If YouTube did this they would themselves become liable. If you have something removed you must either: Drop your own dox in a properly formatted DMCA counter-notice to prove you were right and restore the content. It's pretty fucking easy if you're not a complete retard, just click on copyright at the bottom of YouTube and follow the steps. Provide a fake DMCA counter-notice anyway. It doesn't matter how much you bullshit, as long as you file any kind of counter-claim then YouTube HAS to put your content back up within two weeks. At that point the only way another party can then have your content removed legally is to pursue their interests in a court of IRL law in the US or through the international courts. PROTIP - you are not testifying in court at this point so there's no risk facing perjury charges, you pansy. The DMCA is intended to protect intellectual property - not to remove objectionable content. This is perhaps the most fundamental misunderstanding of the DMCA - this and complete ignorance of applicability the "Fair Use" clause of The Act. But because YouTube is, and always will be, inhabited by clueless low-lifes who would rather the site remain a hugbox, there are always those who will be willing to perjure themselves to save their fragile psyche the torment of criticism. Putting something stupid like "NOTICE I DO NOT OWN NICKELODEON STUDIOS" on your uploads of Spongebob episodes does not give you the legal right to upload them. Pointing out the fact that you don't have the intellectual property rights to the content that you uploaded without permission is like a black person riding around town holding up a sign that says "I DO NOT OWN THIS BIKE" and thinking that makes stealing it legal. No one made you upload anything in the first place, dumbfuck. If your shitty vlog got taken down by some butthurt aspie or batshit furfag then fucking cry moar faggot. People that bitch about Fair Use & DMCA in their video descriptions as a preemptive strike against takedown are hilariously easy to troll. The best part is that their belief in themselves as experts in the legal system means they will keep responding with long-winded ragefits about how they have the constitutional right to upload pirate copies of TV shows and movies. When you get tired of making them dance like an e-puppet for your amusement, simply email a link to the copyright owner (most studios have a link on their website for legal notices) - be polite and brief, you're not doing it for their sake but for lulz. Within a day or so the videos will be taken off YouTube, and your victim will spend the next week crying under their bed because they not only lost their precious view count, but they were proven utterly wrong on the internet.

YouTube as a Corporation

Have you ever wondered why YouTube doesn't seem to respond to your queries (once you've jumped through enough hoops just to contact them, that is) or why they do not seem to care about the average user? If you've ever wondered why YouTube doesn't seem to care about your videos being removed or flagged, your unjust banning, someone harassing you, technical glitches, suggestions for improving the site, or just about any valid appeal, well...here's your answer:


Google is simply far too busy making money off of others work to care about any supposed YouTube "Community". Dollars and sense baby. This video, shown below, shows the dirty secrets of YouTube as a corporation. For instance, nearly all popular YouTube videos are made by private companies. One of the many of these companies is, Hi-Arts Entertainment; they create videos for 27 of the top 90 YouTube celebrities. You pay them 36% of the profits and they make your scripts, edit your videos, and upload it. Another thing is how all the popular people on YouTube use the technique Faking The Suspension.

The Banhammer


Every troll should feel the long hard shaft of the banhammer at least once. YouTube punishment is usually a form of ban from the service implemented by deleting the guilty party's account. However, it remains unclear how long the suspension lasts since YouTube doesn't know how to use email unless it deals with an idle DMCA threat. Some suggest a YouTuber's IP address may be blocked from the server to prevent them from creating another account, sometimes indefinitely. These actions are thought to be invoked for such offenses as violating YouTube's Terms of Service, trolling Renetto, jerking off on cam while smoking a Cuban cigar, disrespecting Mia, or promoting illegal acts. If you have been IP banned for TOS violations you will get the following message if you try and register an account:


If you get this message you got IP banned, bitch. This ban is purely for the creation of accounts - if you create a new account via proxy, YouTube does not re-ban you if you go back to the regular one.

The truth is that unless you do anything that would attract the attention of law enforcement, most trolls can return immediately after they've been suspended and (most of the time) aren't even IP banned. That is, of course, unless you were stupid enough to put your face on cam. YouTube has demonstrated thus far that their policies towards banning users has been, and continues to be, arbitrary at best over the last 4 years. This is because certain users/vloggers have demonstrably been given the dreaded perma-ban and are never allowed to return, whilst others are banned yet are allowed to return without hindrance (i.e. Theboringdispatcher, Warren25smash, etc.) This means there is an arbitrary discrepancy between a perma-ban and a regular ban and you'll never know which the mongoloids on the YouTube staff have randomly decided to give you.

For DMCA violations there is a 3-strike rule in place, but the details surrounding this policy are still sketchy. For example, some people have had 3 videos removed in one instance but are not banned, others have been banned for 3 separate occasions. YouTube's employment of this "policy" has been about as straightforward as their arbitrary TOS bans mentioned above.

Some countries like Turkey, however, banned YouTube to show them who the real boss is.

Update

YouTube has made policy changes regarding bannings. Accounts can now be "muted" for certain periods of time for TOS violations or breaches of "Community Guidelines". Being "muted" doesn't mean your account is banned, it means that you may or may not be able to upload content, post comments, or interact with your account during your mute period. As a result of the changes they have somewhat relaxed their policy towards breaches of "Community Guidelines" and TOS, but not for DMCA violations - you're shit out of luck if you were banned for those.

Read more on the YT Blog. YouTube View Fraud


View fraud is the most obvious when new users with no subscribers do it. This video has 16 comments, rated 62 times and has 185,000+ views. VPC: 11,572. Link to video. YouTube has had, and will continue to have, a long history of users gaming the system: scammers, frauds, and desperate attention whores all competing for attention of the average moron to give them a solitary click on their video. Some do a little more than this though, and take extreme measures to abuse the system and garner views.

For moar info see the article on YouTube View Fraud

YouTube as explained by Sen. Ted Stevens


YouTube is not a big truck either. YouTube is a very great tube, on it you can see people who have made moving pictures, and put their moving picture through a bunch of gigawatts, and gilgabites, until it is on YouTube's tubes. These tubes can be viewed by other chaps and can be put on other tubes, so whether you're watching a moving picture about flying machines or the new telegraph, you can always receive jollys at YouTube, and have a gay ol' time.

YouTube Comments


Typical channel comment.


The only comments Doobish will ever get.


Typical YouTube argument. The "comments" section on every video was created with the intention of viewers to post their thoughts and opinions about any given video. Sadly, this section will ALWAYS invariably lead to a rant about race, politics, religion, or other anti-lulz shit by some fag claiming to be an exec of a large corporate business, who somehow manages to find some time in their busy schedule to whine, bitch, moan, and argue for hours on the internet with other retards, converting a comments section of a video site into a makeshift forum. These "comments" are always responded to by similar basement dwellers and 12 year olds, sparking a great debate, one which is seemingly decided by the vocabulary and amount of technical terminology used by either party, otherwise known as intellectual checkmate. It is also notable that many comments are simply a reiteration of the video's content, repeated by viewers not unlike a flock of psychotic parrots.


Typical YouTube account.


Jew hates lions.


YouTubers engaging in intelligent conversation. This was by no accident, but by YouTube's design. YouTube has secret random nonsensical wordfilters (the help pages just say to try rewording your comment) that just make comments not show up and give no error message or explanation and one's well though-out comment text is then intentionally, forcibly lost through YouTube's Javascript forms so that after losing a long, thought-out comment that took 30 minutes to make, and several times in a row, people eventually just write, "YOUR A FAGGIT".

In Spring 2010, YouTube decided to troll its members further by improving the video page and comments section. This has lead to a nearly unprecedented amount of NERDRAGE and butthurt with over 9000 users threatening to leave Jewtube forever. Google YouTube has yet to offer a satisfactory reason behind this change but we shall keep you posted as this shit storm develops.

Every Comment Ever Made


Susbcribers don't mean a fucking thing. Every comment ever made by idiots on YouTube include:

you wasted 5 mins of my life. (Regardless of how long the actual video is.) thumbs up if X!!! xD Advertisements suck (regardless of what it is) The X amount of people who disliked this are ______. Ytwatchdog touched you with his PINGAS! lul YHUR JUST JELOUS OV (Name of Person your making fun of, ex. Justin Bieber) BCUZ HE HAZ MOAR SUBZ/ALL THE GURLS LUV HEIM!!!!!1! PINGAS FEDOR WOULD KICK BROCK LESNAR'S ASS BROCK LESNAR WOULD KICK FEDOR'S ASS YOUR GRAMMAR SUCKS! GO BACK TO SCHOOL! this song is so much better than Justin Bieber's shit. "I only came here because it was just on (name TV program the YouTube video was just referenced on). lulz" "RIP MJ" "FUCK WMG" "First." "sick" "This song is dirtier than an African kid's foot, bro." "THIS VIDEO MADE ME A MAN" "Any sane person would not believe in God." "Where are her parents???" "HAHA nice video man, I laughed hard, check out mine and make sure to subscribe" "FUCK, I know. but hey, do you want to watch FREE TV on ur PC? Just g0 2 (insert website name here)" "I want the (exact length of video) of my life back" "And I jizzed in my pants." "Pwned" "WATCH:;'FREE,MOVIES,.,ONLINE­!,``WWW.WATCHFULLMOVIES4.TK" "CL1CK_MY_NAM3_and_watch-my_vid­­eoturoial_on_how-to-DOWNL0AD-­t­his_great-game_and-other-PC-­PS­3-XBOX360-and-PSP-games-FOR­-FREE" "^ GET=THIS=GAME=AND=OTHER=PC/PS3­/XBOX360/PSP=FOR=FREE=AT=MY=SI­TE=NO=REGISTRATION/SUBSCRIPTIO­N=REQUIRED.>JUST=CLICK=MY=NAME­<" "LOL OWNED LIKE A BITCHSLAPPED GINGER KID" "SUB 4 SUB?" "COOL STORY, BRO!". "FIND HAWT GIRLS AT CAMAZON DOT COM!" "SEXY GIRLS AT CAMZHOME DOT COM!" "9/11 TRUTH OMGZ BUSH DID IT!" "FAIL" "OMG THAT IS SOOO WRONG" "W0W SHE REALLY NEEDS T0 FORGET AB0UT iT AND L00K F0R S0ME0NE BETTER THEN J0E!" "Copy & paste if you like this video" "Get a life bitch!!" "Your gay" "SEE PROFILE" "Jews did WTC" "LAWL PAUSE AT 00:26" "RON PAUL REVOLUTION" "AMERICANS SUCK!" "AMERICANS RULE!" "OMG SO HILARIOUS! LOL!" "FAKE!!!!!!!!!" "fake and gay" "PLZ DON'T READ One day a young girl was killed in a car crash. If you do not post this comment 20 times in the next 10 seconds she will kill you when you go to sleep" "WHAT SONG IS THIS?" <transcribe the punchline of the joke in the video here> YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS Ron Paul 2012 GET A LIFE AND A GIRLFRIEND A HUR HUR HURRR NIGGER (Automatic if the video has a black person) IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS [MOVIE/TV SHOW/TOPIC/BOOTY GIRL/KIND OF PORN] DON'T WATCH IT HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! The middle finger copy/paste that people do just because the autistic kids want to fit in with everyone else who dislikes the movie. If your family is craving something delicious tonight, cum in a frying pan, put on low until the cum caramelizes and add a delicious layer of chilled diarrhea over top. Let the diarrhea cook until the consistency of scrambled eggs and than fill your rectum with sulfur and kerosene and spray it all over the pan. You may want to stand on a stool above the stove while adding the mix. Garnish with grade A long-cut foreskins and voila!!! A great tasty meal the entire family can enjoy! "IF U DON'T LIKE THE SONG THEN DON'T LISTEN TO IT LIKE HOLY FUCKK!!!!!!!!" "You can't play the song right. You're one 36th of a beat off which is very obvious to musical gods like me. LEARN SOME TEMPO N0OB!!!!" "COME TO <INSERT COUNTRY NAME> AND I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!" "OMG RICK ROLL'D XD" "Juggalos rule!" Gay Thuggin 4 Life "O.B.A.M.A: One Big Ass Mistake America!!" "yer a nerd" "Come and say that shyt to mah face Byotch!" "This video makes my balls soft and my anus sting." "Go fuck ur brother u dum motherfucker and eat ur muther's yogurt with turkay meat u dirty white nygga wit no like that lives in tha basement wit a mouse stuck up that ass and burger grease leakin from your cunt you fukin transsexual." "Please, learn to fucking spell. Thank You." "STFU Family Guy is the best show ever and way better than South Park. If you don't like Family Guy why bother commenting?" (Topic) sux lololol (Other Topic) iz wayyyy better!!1!!!1 Did he/she/it die? "...Only the time will tell us if he will be a real jenious..." (ACTUAL QUOTE) "Dude.....that's some screwd up siht" (copypasta) "Look!, "example of user is better then you" as the other "example of user" is right, don't fucking continue replying, give it up already, you can't win". FAGGOT! (automatic on Adam Lambert music videos) "If your not going to listen to me, don't reply or watch my videos". "Obama is the Antichrist!". "I win against your argument, since reading this, I already disabled my comments on this video". - Typical. "look at whose talking...stephen ..what ever his name is oh yeah i got ti..stephan slave...thinks he can write..psh..getta lyfe dude..and stop hating on stephenie's skillz..". "The Simpsons are better, don't watch Family Guy, it's random. "This looks shopped, I can tell by the pixels". "KILUMANATI" "OMG, YUORE SICK. I HOPE (Insert fatality description here) HAPPENNS TO YOU DICK". "Watch The Obama Deception" "omgz i love the jonas brothers! ill bet ur music sucks! ur just jealous bcuz there hot and ur not!" YOU FUCKING WHORE! THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE THE WORST BAND EVAR! YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT MUSIC! WHY SHOULD I BE JEALOUS OF THREE FAGGOTS WHO HAVE GAY SEX WITH EACH OTHER!? "Mexican" "Adding comments have been disabled for this video." Usually from a video that once contained a lot of negative comments which caused butthurt from the uploader. "Those crazy vaginas" "hey there have you noticed waht oneshot said om your channel he said that the earthquake in haiti has a multikill and that he plans to summon a nuke over 9000 to wipe out japan and taking haiti withh it and he finds more of the earthquake stuff horry to be laughable and funnt and that guy i am telling you he is aracist you better start to comment on his channel" Typical response to troll laughing at weeaboo killcount. "(Amount of dislikes) people are Justin Bieber fans."

UPDATE: On July 8th, 2009, YouTube admins decided to share some lulz by CENSORING ANY YOUTUBE COMMENT containing any profanity. The result included a shitstorm of hate and immediate bypass of the filter to vent their frustration (FU-CK YOU YOUTUBE N_IGGERS BLOCKING OUR F-UCKING USELESS AND IDIOTIC POSTS, ***-GOTS, I'LL SODOMIZE YOUR CHILDREN WITH A BASEBALL BAT). After a few hours, the ability to troll the comments in a regular fashion was re-instated, with censored material immediately becoming visible once again. Much confusion will ensue as people wonder wtf just happened and why their FUCKs' and SHITs' were covered in **** for a few hours.

Comment Audio Preview

Sometime in November 2008 YouTube ripped off an issue of xkcd by installing an "Audio Feedback" system that allows you to hear your comments read back to you before you post them. Naturally, this idea should have stayed in the realm of "Haha, what if?" because it's completely fucking useless in practice. The only real use for the device is to amuse one's self by typing ridiculous bullshit into the comment field to hear it read back to you by a robot with a speech impediment. This shit has never worked in the first place.


The webcomic in question, which first aired in October '08.


Clearly, this is going to solve all the problems.


Wonder if the commenter will get the hint...

Every Video Ever Made

Need hits for your YouTube account? Now you have the power!

Grab a video of dogs looking sad ???? = Set it to "Had a Bad Day" by Daniel Powter PROFIT!! AND FUCK YEA!!! Good alternatives to sad dogs are:

Pokemon Battles Cats falling over (steal from America's Funniest Home Videos) Mudkipz or other anime Totally random clip art AMVs Morbidly obese women dancing Linkin Park AMVs Linkin Park period. Halo games you lost People getting hit by trains Club Penguin for 3.3 million hits [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jEGAiu4 [http://www.youtube.com/confectionarybandit Disco songs that no one has heard before and/or gives a flying fuck about. Be like FRED and make a video of yourself being as irritating as fuck and/or make it high-pitched Five year old kid playing (song) on (instrument) Naruto AMV Craig Ferguson fan videos that n00bs think are visionary because they're set to Fall Out Boy songs and have actual footage of the band instead of nothing but clips. ANYTHING having to do with babies (which is an obvious hint) X SPED UP (also known as X SUNG BY CHIPMUNKS) X SLOWED DOWN X PLAYED BACKWARDS (with the claim of there being some hidden satanic message) Video containing *SPOILERS* of anything which turns out to be a rickroll YouTube Poop Someone doing something for five minutes. Vocaloid Sparta remix Any video that has "NOT A COMEDY" in the title LEAVE BRITNAH ALONE!!!!! How To Score Cheap Lulz On YouTube


YouTube = fail If you're in for some lulz, you've come to the right site. Usually go to any video which has a lot of views (suggestions would be a religious JewTubeer or some shit band videos) and just say something completely against the tide. Then a bunch of 13 year old boys will type furiously about how the internets is serious business. They'll probably send you a PM with some long bullshit about how you are wrong. Here is a generic statement for you to use:

"This is a total rip-off of ______________ (insert old band or movie name)"

Better yet, if the original poster of the video is the type to actually respond to each and every comment he gets with a long argument which fills the text limit, well you can say the most racist, sexist, bigoted comments imaginable and they will respond with accusations of trolling while also flaming you back as if they think you typed those comments in the height of serious-ity. Find a user like this and you will find yourself uttering the phrase "He's responding, he's responding, I cant believe he's responding."

The first step in getting any lulz in the above fashion first centers upon finding a tuber you don't like. But don't worry...you will. (In fact, it's damn near impossible not to.)

Most YouTube users will get butthurt over just about anything, which makes them perfect troll targets. Here are some examples of YouTube butthurt and what usually happens as a result of it:

Someone leaves a negative comment on one of their videos (which usually results in an endless series of video responses in which they try to "destroy" each other.) They get their videos removed or their account suspended (which usually results in a major boycott plan to not log onto YouTube for an ENTIRE DAY!!!11!) The ToS gets more strict (see above). Cloning

A person who makes a YouTube account exactly the same but they replace the l with I or replace the I with l. If the YouTube account doesn't contain those letters than the person cannot be cloned. Clones also must clone the listed friends and make a copy of the person's YouTube videos. Another popular method is copy and pasting the original person's profile. Clones work when the person closes the account as well because then if you close the clone account and spam someone they will think it's the person you're cloning that did the spamming. You can also use clone to disguise as someone to become an admin of a stream. Then you can ban every moderator in the stream when nobody is in there. As you can tell this can cause mass confusion.

Example: Here's an original channel and here's its clone.

Here is another original channel and here is the clone.

There is currently a Clone Wars raging amongst a faction of dedicated trolls and YouTube user Beamshipcaptain. The original declaration of war was made in October 2009 by now banned clone leader "TheBeamshipCaptain".

Several other trolls have now taken arms and created clone accounts. There are currently at least 10 clone accounts, ranging from BeamshipsRevenge to MorganshipCaptain, and randombeamshipman(who is a hybrid of randomlaughingman and beamshipcaptain).

The clone armies will not rest untill the internets have been purged of these idiots.

The Subscriber Security Hole


Another prime example of YouYube fucking up the page design Some time ago Anonymous discovered whoever coded YouTube sucks and left a security hole on their website for people to exploit. It involves a YouTube user's subscribers count on their profile page and how it can be exploited.

Here's how it works:

1) Subscribe to target user 2) Unsubscribe 3) Repeat 4) ???? 5) PROFIT The first time a user subscribes, the subscribers count increments by 1, but does NOT increment any time you do it again. However, unsubscribing will decrement their count by 1. eBaum's World eventually found note of this and decided to attack Lonelygirl15's page and bring the count from tens of thousands of subscribers down to 0. It has also been done to her longface, Jew-nosed widow Danielbeast and other various YouTubers like Daxflame and VenomFangX. A script has also been developed to exploit this hole with about as much manpower as an Indian call center...but nobody can seem to locate it. The glitch was short lived before YouTube employees got off their asses and did something about it, but the whining from vloggers across the site was incessant and pointed for this short period as many users were upset about losing their honorz.

Update:

The YouTube staff finally got this shit fixed. Hallefuckingjulah, it only took them a year and a half.

Update:

There's was recently another gaping security hole based on the same principle. HURR DURR YEAH BOSS WE TOTALLY FIXED THAT SUBSCRIBER BUG.

Comment Security Hole


Moar info: YouTube Independence Day.

July 4th, 2010, at 6:17 AM Eastern Time, the very first thread went up on Ebaumsworld' forums. Detailing a script that you could plug in to make your text red and scroll across the page. Soon, it was discovered that not only did this delete/hide all other comments besides yours, but that it rendered every button except the ones on the video itself as useless as a Brit's dick. Cries to infect the pages of Justin Bieber, Fred, and G4 were made. It was lulzy, all was well.

Then someone posted a thread on /b/.

Within the hour, a few new scripts had appeared, one would render the entire background black. Nothing except the video playing. Another would allow you to make fake message boxes when the page opened. But the third is where things get out of hand. The final one allowed you to redirect videos to anywhere on the internet. Combined with the now unflaggable videos, cp, gore, and porn in general began to popup disguised as "Justin Bieber - Baby," or "Lady Gaga - Poker Face."

Meanwhile, Ebaums was in its usual disorganized chaos. /v/ had started it all with a code obtained from /g/, then /b/ entered the picture due to /v/ and shit hit the fan. Moralfags came out in droves, /b/ was flooded with Jewtube Assault images. Everyone believed that the final battle between 4chan and YouTube was about to ensue. A new Ragnarok of the internet. Some said it was being taken to far, that innocent people would be v&. These people were, predictably, promptly ignored.

Obviously, YouTube kicked its shit into high gear. Three and a half hours in, "Safety Mode" was live. Opening the comments still activated the scripts as normal, but now they weren't automatic. The push was losing steam on 4chan, as more and more moralfags woke up and took time away from their mother's dried up teat to post their OUTRAGE. This bitch move thus draining morale on the shitposters even further.

In the aftermath, 4chan was blamed for the incident, as planned by the cock-lovers at EbaumsWorld. In reality, 4chan did not find the exploit.

Memes born from YouTube


YouTube is known by emos for its hurtful messages. Bus Uncle "Chocolate Rain" Dear Sister Garbage Day Grape Lady GreenTeaGirlie I Like Turtles IM PRESSIN CHARGES Intellectual Checkmate Interior Crocodile Alligator Old Gregg Tinaecmusic Tunak Yahweh 300 - The series of billions of "LOL SPARTA REMIX GIF IMAGEZ" videos. Winnebago Man Epic Beard Man Cheeseburger Josh Keyboard Cat OMG Cat I'm 12 Jessi Slaughter YouTube Impersonators


Apparently not.


Mods are monkeys? FeelMyTube

One of MANY porn knockoffs to be mentioned.

Beast Tube

It's where furfags go to fap. Do you even need to fucking ask?

Kissyoutube

Type in "kiss" before a YouTube video, and you can download it. Ex: www.youtube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching becomes www.kissyoutube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching.

Dailymotion

Dailymotion will one day replace YouTube for all your internets blogging needs. God Bless those Gay Frenchfags!

JewTube


It's fucking real A website comprised of Jewish-oriented user-generated content. JewTube was founded by Jeremy Kossen, a Los Angeles-based Jew that was afraid the domain would be used for lulz. Jewtube is also a great place to buy and sell blue-eyed gentile babies so you can crucify them for unknown Kabbalah rituals...

Oddly enough, Google is trying to out-jew the New York City based company NetParty for the use of the name "JewTube", on trademark grounds. Ironically, Google is headed by a trio of Nazis.

NSFW YouTube

Allows you watch YouTube videos that you need to be 18+ to view. Put nsfw in the address and you watch any video you want. Ex: www.youtube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching becomes www.nsfwyoutube.com/whateverthehellvideoyourewatching.

Podblanc

http://podblanc.com/ Racial or "racist" stuff that YouTube bans is allowed here...

Pornotube

If you don't like jacking off to emo videos and camwhores then Pornotube is for you! Just make sure to click on Straight Content before browsing, else you come upon an absolutely gay video of three guys jacking off on each other. Due to Pornotube's sorting algorithm you will probably be overwhelmed with cocks in the "straight" section as well. This is not a bug, you are a closet homosexual and they know.

Redtube

See Youporn

Shockingtube

A wannabe YouPorn site hosting a wide range of fucked-up shit of highly questionable legality and fagality in video format. Ex.Meatspin,BME Pain Olympics,Fred.

Trampletube

For sick fucks.

Vloggerheads

Renetto's answer to YouTube. Predicted to die before next Thursday. See the article for moar details.

Xtube

Xtube is a copycat of YouTube, but instead of regular shitty webcam videos, this has regular shitty webcam porno videos. The only thing that would make this less shitty is if it had less than 9,000 videos of your mom being blasted by some fag.

http://www.xtube.com/play_re.php?v=7viFI-S122- The lollercaust will be televised. Or not.

It's also the only YouTube pornographic impostor to have a furfag community.

YouJizz

This site has porn (duh) but it mostly contains guys blowing their loads on some random whores face.

Youporn

This site is for horny 13 year old boys with no life and an obvious addiction to cumming on their computer screens.

EmpFlix

Normal porn, of reasonable length and quality for people who don't masturbate to car-accidents. Not for 4chan.

Yuvutu

Yet another 3rd rate porno knockoff.

Outube

A porn website that was made in case little kids accidentally misspelled YouTube. After many complaints the website was changed so it looks nothing like YouTube.

88tube

88=HeilHitler+Tube=...take a guess! Has racial music on the front page currently.

http://www.88tube.net/Not anymore! Godtube

Well it's not for atheists so just take a guess.

http://godtube.com/ Yiffytube

The furries got tired of websites with no furry porn so they made their own YouTube clone dedicated to only furry videos.

Typical YouTube Clips


Previous Video | Next Video

Quotes

Encyclopediadramatica, Renetto, Smosh & More!


“ All I have got to say is, EncyclopediaDramatica.com is the best fucking website on the internet, hands down

— RoccosHouse

A Message to ED


“ Write in more MGM is gay references

— MysteryGuitarMan

Google Search an stuff


“ I actually went and did a Google search on myself. The first place I came to was Encyclopedia Dramatica

— DiGiTiLsOuL

YOUTUBE, LISTEN UP!!! NO HIDING, HEAR ME OUT!


“ Not everyone on the Internet is a selfish prick, but, YouTube, you're a selfish prick.

—Some tranny

Further Drama

The frequent battlecry YouTube posties fret over is its growing ties to the corporate media. Paul Robinett told the New York Post "It is starting to appear as though the regular guy doesn't have a chance on YouTube anymore. The majority of the content on YouTube belongs to people like me, yet they seem to be cutting deals with everyone that owns content but us." "I'm starting to feel some twinges of betrayal," said Ben Going (aka Boh3M3). They seem to be more money-oriented than I imagined."


Efg doing what he does best on YouTube


Previous Video | Next Video

YouTube's "Community Council"

Since Damien Estreich failed so epically at his job as an "advocate" for the community, YouTube, in an act of pure laziness, decided to create a "Community Council" to direct any complaints (because they are too busy making money) from the "community" to 5 users: Bravesgirl5, bradofarrell, sarrycrey, tlg847, Visblemode.


tlg847 on Serious Business. Previous Video | Next Video

Update:

YouTube's officially sanctioned "Community Council" is now completely defunct.

YouTube RickRolls You


They did something even gayer the next year. On April Fools Day, 2008, the fags at JewTube redirected all featured video links to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up, hoping users would applaud JewTube for its originality and suck its e-cock. This pathetic attempt at an April Fools joke "fooled" nearly one hundred thousand people, attempting to milk an already dead meme for everything it's worth. Not since Carson Daily Rickrolled his own audience on national television or the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has there been such blatant faggotry. Update: Someone actually managed to top it.

YouTube's New Channel Designs


Proof that YouTube's new channel design is shit In 2009, YouTube started changing everyone's channels and renamed them GooTube beta. In July, they made it fully mandatory.

Features of the new design:

90% of the links and buttons on your channel page are JavaScript. None of them work except in IE 4.0 with security features completely off and only version 4.0. No one can view your videos, your favorites, etc. Channel comments links. For instance if your YouTube username is http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum , your link to view the next series of comments is the broken link http://www.youtube.com/user/&start=10 . You have to correct YouTube's own faulty HTML by editing their link and making it http://www.youtube.com/user/ScarletSanctum&start=10 . YouTube's initial blog about the changes has received nothing but complaints from the "YouTube Community" and their "help" forums have had the same reaction to the faulty beta design since early Spring. YouTube never fixed any of the problems with their shitty design and has now decided to make the new channel design mandatory and only old accounts from before the changeover are allowed to retain their oringal look. This is YouTube's way of proving that none of their employees have ever visited their own website.

YouTube 2010


You're just piling fail on top of fail now.


US Government robots collude with YouTube to block unwanted facts which they "copyrighted." YouTube Wants Your Dox

So some of you might have thought that in 5 years of YouTube's clueless administration they couldn't possibly make worse decisions than they already have; well it turns out you were very fucking wrong. YouTube has now made new changes that have nerds raging again:

They implemented an "account verification" system, demanding you give them a fucking cell phone number just to open an account. This is by far the queerest change they've made in years. The days of being able to set up socks at lightning speed are over and it means they're fewer and harder to come by. So enjoy your fucking txt spam and telemarketers if you sign up for a new one. Sidenote: There have actually been reports that YouTube doesn't always seem to ask for this during sign-up, but this is a myth at this point. They changed the video page layout towards a crack-baby interface, moving shit around and implementing like/dislike ratings rather than the old star system, they also added some a faggy 'autoplay' list of assumingly related shit to the right that nobody can figure out. Fucked up the comment system, again. They have now implemented subscription limits. The number of subscriptions you can have is somehow derived from the number of subscribers you have.


Just some of the thousands of comments that express rage at the new layout. The thing is, now older YouTube accounts (ones from the first half of 2007 or earlier) are at a premium because these accounts are unique in that:

They do not require the new layout and are thusly much less faggy. - they've now been assimilated too They are able to upload vids over 10 minutes. They have less ass in general. Rest assure these are just a taste of the shittyness YouTube has in store for us this year.

Go! Animate

Youtube thought it would be funny to let intelligent individuals express their deep emotional insights into life with a very sophisticated animation creating tool.


Go! Animate As you can see from this example, most of these animations are hilarious. Related Articles


A Message From Chad and Steve YouTube Staff YouTube Ratings YourTubeNews The Kewl Kids YouTube Civil War YouTube Poop YouTube Furry War Young Tubers United YouTube Nobodies YouTube Independence Day YouTube Street Team - See also YouTube Vigilantes. YouTube View Fraud Operation Yewtube Operation YouTube Vloggerheads Deleting your YouTube Videos Let's Play with YouTube Haters Censorship Unrealistic expectations on YouTube Unwarranted self-importance Everything is Terrible! ED Singers Youflood ¯\(°_o)/¯ Templates for EDiots:

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