R. Lee Ermey

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He will definitely fuck you up!

R. Lee Ermey is an older gentleman made up of about 35% badassery, 39% win, and 26% anger. Ermey has made a living out of rehabilitating scroungy fucks who, quite often, are completely disillusioned, unfunny, and unfit. As such, R. Lee Ermey is to be considered the ultimate tool when dealing with trolls; their tactics cannot block out his square-jawed fury, and his eyes have never been recorded blinking on film. AHH TENN SHUN!

IRL Tough Guy

Ermey is an outspoken IRL Tough Guy, having served in the U.S. Marine Corps in Vietnam for 14 months of his life, where he roamed the jungles, screaming at and killing AZN guys and raping their women. After sufficiently traumatizing Vietnamese families for generations, R. Lee Ermey went to Japan, serving two tours of duty, unleashing his righteous fury on all the Japanese soldiers. This is accepted as FACT by the world at large, although the timing doesn't really add up. In the 1970s, after decades of service and vitriolic abuse of painkillers, he was forcefully retired due to injuries sustained during GLORIOUS BATTLE.

After retirement, he took his IRL philosophies and successfully translated them onto the Silver Screen, spreading his message to trolls and internet fucktards on a scale never before possible.

Illustrious Movie Career

Since retiring from service, R. Lee Ermey has been in at least 100 movies, and plays the same fucking character in all of them. His roles include:

  • Angry Yelling Army Guy in Full Metal Jacket
  • Angry Yelling Army Guy in The Boys in Company C
  • Former Angry Yelling Army Guy in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes.
  • Angry Yelling Army Guy in Purple Hearts
  • Angry Yelling Army Guy's Voice in The Simpsons, Toy Story, Spongebob and other Anime shit.
  • Dead Angry Yelling Army Guy in The Frighteners

Teh Bravery

He can look into the eye of danger and not avert his gaze.

Alternative

Musical Alternative

Why he is better than you

This is what waits for you if you deny any information in this section.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell/Beating up English fockers

PWNED via Ermey's WOOD.

Ermey, as a completely fucking insane right-winger, has an extensive record of bashing the gay and Jewish communities, striving for a better tomorrow through the power of old man rage. Because of his long-practiced activism, he was challenged to an altercation by a young, to-this-day anonymous liberal britfag whose parents moved him to America. A quote from the young man's blog:


   
 
This old bigot is a detrement to society; i Swear I'm going to shoot him or somethin when he troks by Chicago.
 

 
 

Britfag of Chicago, apparently


On a tour for his involvement in the comedy Saving Silverman, sure enough, R. Lee Ermey stopped by Chicago, near enough to this asshole's neighborhood. Consequently, the crumpet-jockey threw a rock at Ermey, who proceeded to whip out a fucking nightstick and make him pay... or so one would think. The police report claims that Ermey shoved the young kipper-sucking faggot into the sharp corner of a heavy table, resulting in a crimson gash across his face.

Selling Out for Car Insurance

Our hero one day turned over 9000 years old, and decided that he wasn't filthy rich enough from acting to take his fortune to the afterlife with him, so he went to Geico. Geico decided it would be funny to have him play the role of a therapist, using washed-out versions of his old insults; instead of calling somebody a stupid piss-powered ball polisher mongoloid and threatening to skullfuck them, they opted to have him call people crybabies and Jackwagons.

The elusive Jackwagon.


So for now the ballad of R. Lee Ermey is at a lull; there is a strong belief that he will one day return to graetness in a big way.

Other IRL Tough Guys

IT'S THE FUCKING GALLERY, NUMBNUTS!


External Links

See Also

Featured article August 9 & 10, 2012
Preceded by
Broadside
R. Lee Ermey Succeeded by
LadyALT69