Difference between revisions of "Stoneman Douglas High School gun control activists"

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====Hogg challenges Alex Jones to a debate, then pussies out====
 
====Hogg challenges Alex Jones to a debate, then pussies out====
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Feeling that [[Alex Jones]] attacked his sacred honor by daring to oppose him, David Hogg challenged him to a debate to prove Jones wrong. Jones responded by accepting the challenge of a debate, only for Hogg to promptly back off and make up an excuse for why he wouldn't do it. The ignominy of his public backtracking caused Hogg to lash out like a wounded animal at Jones, and [http://archive.is/59snU make tweets] mocking Jones's appearance. Not long after this, CNN [https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/27/politics/gun-bill-analysis/index.html ran an article] saying the NRA had defeated Hogg and his co-conspirators' quest to reduce Americans' Second Amendment freedoms, and when CNN, who was Hogg's biggest fan and promoter early on, says that, you know his fifteen minutes are up.
  
 
===Cameron Kasky===
 
===Cameron Kasky===

Revision as of 01:29, 11 November 2019

   
 
They testify in front of Congress, these kids. Like what the fuck, what are you doing? You’re young, you should be crazy, you should be unhinged, not in a suit saying "I'm here to tell..." fuck you. You’re not interesting because you went to a high school where kids got shot. Why does that mean I have to listen to you? How does that make you interesting? You didn’t get shot, you pushed some fat kid in the way, and now I’ve gotta listen to you talking?
 

 
 

—Louis C.K., saying what everyone is thinking.


The Stoneman Douglas High School gun control activists are a small group of left-leaning high school students who saw an opportunity after the Marjory Stoneman Douglas school shooting to use the bodies of their seventeen dead classmates to gain a national media-provided platform to push gun control. While there have been many other school shootings in the United States in the past couple of decades, this is notably the first instance a small group of students was narcissistic enough to climb over their schoolmates' bodies to get to the TV cameras.

The attention whoring was accommodated by the most trusted name in news, CNN. Naturally, CNN's string of journalistic successes and obvious lack of bias made them the ideal forum for an impartial debate which in no way was an ambush of local rube Marco Rubio and NRA spokesperson, Dana Loesch.

While Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School had an enrollment of 2,972 students at the start of the 2017 school year, it's generally only the same few students you see everywhere in the media purporting themselves to speak for the entire student body. Also worth mentioning is the fact that none of Hogg, González and the rest of the "survivors" paraded around on the mainstream media advocating for gun control were actually inside Building 12 during the shooting, making it like having a small vocal group of "9/11 survivors" everywhere on the media promoting renewal of the PATRIOT Act, but none were actually at the World Trade Center, they were just in New York City on the day of September 11, 2001.

The students

Not included in this list is Colton Haab who shielded seventy students with Kevlar mats, but who revealed CNN's insistence on using scripted questions. Naturally, CNN retaliated by claiming Haab had doctored emails from them. Also not included is Kyle Kashuv, who has taken the controversial view that his classmates are taking this thing too far, so he had to wait an extra week for his verified badge after meeting with numerous figures in the government including the Devil himself, Donald Trump. For these transgressions, Kashuv was warmly welcomed by his fellow classmates who rejected Trump's attempt to reach out to them.

Davig Hogg

David Hogg gets rejected by the University of Central Florida and other colleges

Hogg gets into Harvard University

You read that right, folks. David Hogg and his 1270 SAT score got accepted into Harvard. After getting rejected by multiple smaller colleges, one of the most prestigious universities in the country let him in, for no reason other than his post-shooting media darling status. If you ever had any doubt that the shooting at his high school was the best thing to ever happen to Hogg, let this dispel that fiction.

On December 22, 2018, Hogg tweeted: "Thank you all for the well wishes, I’ll be attending Harvard in the fall with a planned major in Political Science." Unfortunately for Hogg, Harvard does not offer a major in political science.

David Hogg sees school safety measures other than gun control as a violation of his freedoms

Hogg challenges Alex Jones to a debate, then pussies out

Feeling that Alex Jones attacked his sacred honor by daring to oppose him, David Hogg challenged him to a debate to prove Jones wrong. Jones responded by accepting the challenge of a debate, only for Hogg to promptly back off and make up an excuse for why he wouldn't do it. The ignominy of his public backtracking caused Hogg to lash out like a wounded animal at Jones, and make tweets mocking Jones's appearance. Not long after this, CNN ran an article saying the NRA had defeated Hogg and his co-conspirators' quest to reduce Americans' Second Amendment freedoms, and when CNN, who was Hogg's biggest fan and promoter early on, says that, you know his fifteen minutes are up.

Cameron Kasky

A suspected fedora-tipper of self-proclaimed integrity, who apparently cares deeply about life and protecting life from the great evils of the world, despite his history of calling for violence and death upon people of ideologies that oppose his, showing otherwise. All in all nobody really cares about him. Note: Has a nose of a notably hooked shape.

Emma González

Delaney Tarr

The "survivors" seek to cash in with a book deal

In the very same month the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School occurred, it was reported that some of the "survivors" already have high-profile publicists working for them, seeking to secure big book deals to get themselves and their organization tons of Jew gold get their message of gun control out (because Lord knows a book would do that better than their having appeared on every TV talk show imaginable.) One must wonder how some of the other students at their high school feel watching them cash in like this, in addition to their incessant media attention-whoring.

The "Parkland Wave" that wasn't

David Hogg and his Parkland pals declared they were ready to get to work to get rid of those nasty Second Amendment-supporting politicians in their home state of Florida. They said in early 2018 they were registering all the teens to vote in that November's midterm election, and they were going to paint the state blue. Their targets? Their own self-declared archenemies, Rick Scott and Ron DeSantis, both running in statewide races for the U.S. Senate and Governor. With all the hype surrounding the Parkland students, things were looking pretty grim for the Republican duo...

Wait, what's that? Scott and DeSantis both won? This can't be happening! If the Parkland students couldn't knock off their GOP enemies in a 'blue wave' year, mere months after their rise to prominence (i.e., the only time in which they'll have been fresh in voters' minds), it really does make one wonder exactly when they'll be able to influence the outcome of elections in Florida. Surely Hogg and company will be super popular and relevant in 2022, when their other declared enemy, Marco Rubio, will have his Senate seat come up for election.

Who's really funding them?

Broward Sheriff

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