The Spoony Experiment/Spoony and Friends
Noah currently lives in a deserted wasteland that is Arizona. After coming to the conclusion at age 28 that being a basement dweller in your parents' house and mooching on their steady salary could be potentially be bad for his Internet career, (living under the risk of having your computer privileges taken away at any moment is pretty stressful, y'know), he decided to be a basement dweller at his brother's house and mooch on his steady salary instead.
Noah was also in a relationship with Scarlett, some ginger bitch, who pays for and operates his site in exchange for the freedom to use his rectum for drilling purposes, and making sure that she is supplied with a steady stream of delicious caek (yes, Spoony is so utterly whipped that, it is, in fact, HIM who is in the kitchen). The only way he can get close to heterosexual contact with another woman is to fake it, as evidenced here.
Scarlett Topia (Ex Girlfriend)
- Pussy-whipped Spoony
- Was the real reason why Dr. Insano was created, which turned out to be the first symptom of Spoony's humor
turning stale and drywithering and dying.
- Was responsible for turning his forums into a fascist, banhappy, dicksucking place, meaning that is currently little more than an echo chamber which only serves to enable spoony's fastly growing ego.
- Only ever uses the one carefully posed photo of herself and never appears on any video. I WONDER WHY?
According to the ginger bitch herself, she and Spoony met the same day he lost his job. In the beginning she only helped Spoony build his website, but she was soon promoted to moderator and eventually admin on his forum, and she has since then only confirmed the old truth that women should never be put in the position of holding any kind of power whatsoever, as they are generally stupid, controlled by their emotions, and can't use logic to save their life. When Scarlett is not clumsily flirting like a frisky girl with the basement dwellers on the forums or making bad sex jokes, she is busy making sure that nobody criticizes Mr. Antwiler, ever. Whenever some brave soul actually does exactly that, no matter if it comes in form of "lol, u sux over 9000 dicks!1!!" or "You raised some good points, but there are a couple things you could have explained better...", she will immediately ban the perpetrator, make a hypocrisy-filled, self-righteous tl;dr post about "tolerance and being nice" and lock the thread. This has given Spoony the impression that this is the mature and correct way to handle criticism, and probably why he today rages like a rabid chimpanzee every time some of it actually manages to come through to him.
And don't naïvely assume that criticism is the only basis for threadlocking or being b&. It has been proven that if you were to gather all the various forum guidelines (which are spread about stickies posted in several different locations over the forums), copy & paste them into a text document, then print the document, it would take up over 9,000 pages of text, a list to which Scarlett is always adding whatever shit happens to come to mind and rain down from her vagina.
Criteria for moderation include:
- having a signature that exceeds an arbitrary length
- making any sort of reference anything in the real world that requires more than two neurons to process and therefore beyond Scarlett & Spoony's combined ability to comprehend (i.e., anything other than shitty movies, videogames, and wrestling), such as news items, politics, and religion
- discussing the site's ads or complaining that they're NSFW
- really whatever random reason a mod happens to pull out of their ass, however unrelated the reason to any of the stated rules
- And what ever you do, no matter how tempting or lulzy it is. Never, EVER mention this Encyclopedia Dramatica page. INSTABAN!!!
As a result, it is believed that she is responsible for locking every thread ever made.
Scarlett tried (and failed) to ride her former bitch's coattails with her GOTIS-infested blog, which is so terrible it's not even funny. The entire thing is written in horrible purple prose, and filled with spirituality meta-crap to show how intelligent and deep she is. Meanwhile, most of her post titles are bad puns on movie titles and her about information lists some of the most banal, mainstream shit imaginable, while at the same time desperately screaming, "HEY SUP DUDES, I'M A GIRL BRO, I LIKE COOL ASS CULT MOVIES LIKE MONTY PYTHON, AREN'T I AWESOME?" And of course her fanbase (by which we mean, Spoony's fanbase) laps it up.
Her relationship with Spoony ultimately ended in February 2011. While Spoony cried for weeks as a bitch on twitter over the whole incident and made several more-or-less vague allusions to cheating women, Scarlett herself went happily on, acting like nothing was wrong and offering no indication of the breakup over her blog -- which ultimately revealed which of the two of them gave the killing blow to the relationship. Whether Spoony's basement dweller tendencies or Scarlett's desire to fuck every Z-list Internet celebrity under the sun was the reason for the breakup is yet to be revealed, but it is safe to that it was probably a bit of both.
The foundation of Spoony's psyche has proven that it has started to crumble since Scarlett has left him to wither and wallow in his own unbathed hair grease and cheesy animal crackers. Spoony's videos have further declined in quality and lulz (both genuine funny and potential mockery). In the wake of his losing the joy of motorboating Scarlett's manatee tits, Spoony has turned his dickfaced shinanigans typically used against fans on even his TGWTG co-workers.
The video below demonstrates just how much Spoony takes a game of Dungeons and Dragons srsly, mistaking LordKatt's use of Magic Bee Offense as a genius tactical deployment.
Clearly Spoony's brain is regenerating from Scarlett's gotis lechery -- or Spoony has just been this kind of total batshit insane this entire time and Scarlett got the fuck out while she still could.
Miles Antwiler (Brother)
Miles Antwiler is a tragic soul who is the brother of the failed abortion that is Spoony, and the owner of the house where Noah is currently wasting away his existence. While he is (understandably) very rarely seen in the flesh, Spoony cannot get through five minutes of a video without mentioning the guy at least thrice. However, when he is present in one of Spoony's videos, he typically keeps a cool head and can be seen rolling his eyes when Spoony goes on one of his bitch fits. Although Spoony usually refuses to let Miles share his opinion on camera since it's his show and he constantly cuts off the poor bastard. Whenever that happens you can sense the antipathy for Miles as he puts up with Spoony.
While Miles may be considered somewhat of a lesser known character in The Spoony Experiment universe, he does deserve a humanitarian award for his sheer perseverance in living with Noah's massive ego and temper tantrums for so many years. Though it would be instantly removed as he didn't do the world the decent thing and beat the egotistical fuck to death with the nearest blunt object at birth. This extends to the present, since Miles is a cop and could easily get away with it. Also, he seems to have the patience of several thousand saints, as Spoony throws bitch-fits by screaming on his vlogs at roughly 3AM, routinely dons silly-arse costumes, yells like a manic manchild bitch, and uses an entire room as a "studio". Miles either spends a lot of time at the local bar, or just facepalming.
Oreo Antwiler (Dog)
"Oreo" is Noah's pet dog, and source of comfort due to his current self-inflicted stupidity. While this pet would usually be a waste of article space, the dog is notable for being abused by Spoony via having its' own Twitter account. On this account, Spoony stalks many women whie roleplaying as his pet dog, whining about how "he" has no "mommeh," and how his "daddeh" (him) is so lonely. This causes most to think he is now the worst parts of Charlie Sheen's mental breakdown turned to full volume. So, Spoony is using his pet dog to be a furry due to a fat ginger. Yeaaaaah.
As is the case with many internet celebrities who outstay their 15 minutes of fame, they usually fall into many habits that are commonly seen in people with a severe lack of wit or creativity. Spoony's excessive reliance on such habits can also be traced to his affiliation with TGWTG as an attempt to fit in with his family of circle jerking compatriots. One such habit is relying on horrendous sketch bits and introducing "new" wacky characters in vain and often unsuccessful attempts to keep their material from getting stale and prevent themselves from becoming yesterday's news, and then having to give up being e-famous. As Mr. Antwiler has a true dedication to quality and original content, he has created many new characters like Hulk Spoagan, Ultimate Warrior Spoony, Spoon'Tock of the Klingon Empire, Terl and Spoondalf the Grey in record time - none of which were actually good, nor are those listed below.
Dr. Insano is Spoony's go-to character for many of his sketches that he shoehorns into his reviews. Running on humor that even a 5th grader would cringe at, Dr. Insano's shtick usually involves him popping up and laughing like a maniacal madman then dragging the joke out too long while he overacts and dramatically yells the word "SCIENCE!" whenever it is mentioned.
Shortly after creating it, due to how successful Spoony thought the character was, and due to him not having a job at the time and desperate to make his e-fame pay his bills, he came up with the brilliant idea/pipedream that Doctor Insano would be great for TV! Wanting to get a spot on Mythbusters which even fellow manchild Adam Savage would no doubt find laughable, or to get Doctor Insano his very own children's show where he teaches kids about mad science and how to be incredibly unfunny.
Insano usually appears on screen whenever Noah can't get Linkara or one of his other TGWTG fuck-buddies to cameo on his review/rant/eBegging drive at short notice and normally involves him prancing around the screen like a faggot in a high-pitched girly voice (again, like a faggot) all whilst being incredibly irritating, boring and pointless (again, like Spoony). It really should've stayed a one-off gag, not a recurring character. Unfortunately, he'd already invested in those novelty glasses, so he is determined to make it work. He hasn't and it doesn't, but his determination should count for something. It also doesn't.
Doctor Insano is also responsible for the hundreds of Cosplay-fags as of late dressing up as him at conventions, as his costume consisting of a green t-shirt, white overalls, a stethoscope and a pair of dollar googly glasses can easily be afforded by the poorest of basement dwellers.
Plus, come on, Insano is totally a Doktor Sleepless ripoff. Spoony's always tickling the BALLS of Warren Ellis on the fucking Twitter.
Spencer D. Bum
Spencer D. Bum is conclusive evidence that Spoony's talent of creating original, funny characters has no bounds. No, Wait. It's just a shitty rip off of the Nostalgia Critic's Chester A. Bum.
Unfortunately, as high a pedestal as his ass-kissing fanboys love to place him on for his banterous, witty videos, he remains an unoriginal hack. He's still like the rest of the TGWTG circle jerk, by ripping off Channel Awesome's cash cow. Though to give him some credit, instead of just going by "that guy with..." type creations, he's instead adopted a character of Doug's no one gives a fuck about.
Anyhow, while Spencer D. Bum isn't as well known, or as used as his other creations,
he is still brought out of the closet occasionally to make fun of the unemployed and destitute. In a shocking instance of sentience, Spoony's fans reacted to this new character with the vitriol formerly unseen in his dicksucking fanbase. Spoony actually realized that this "creation" was unpopular amongst his fanbase and, in a rare moment of mercy, killed it off, which instantly made his videos 0,0002% less annoying. Just a shame that it was too little, too late, and will likely never happen again, especially not to beloved and well-developed characters, like Doctor Insano.
Just put a towel on your head, wear a black shirt, and dim the lighting. Presto! You've got a retarded clone of a character from the classic board game Nightmare. Don't worry because others from TGWTG will find this hilarious and do their own versions.
Black Lantern Spoony
Oh, fuck off. It's just Spoony in a "Black Lantern" t-shirt.
And we just bitched about Spencer D. Bum being totally void of creativity. Even further proving Spoony has lost all creativity, Black Lantern Spoony is Spoony's "attempt" at giving his reviews a storyline (Jesus fuck), much in lieu of Linkara, even intertwining him with Linkara's storyline. In the "storyline", Black Lantern Spoony is actually the real Spoony, but got killed by Squall. Linkara made a clone of Spoony to run the Spoony's show but the original come back to life thanks to Mecha-kara and Jesus Christ this is fucking stupid.
Emperor Spoonius Maximus
Spoony wasn't invited to the Delta Tau Chi Toga Party, but that's not gonna stop him from using this costume. Pretending to be a failed Shakespearean actor, Spoonius throws his weight around on shitty opinions nobody cares about. He even ruins Cinema Snob's 100th review by creating an unfunny running gag with his TGWTG circle jerk crew that viewers fast forward through.
Not only is this another stolen character, but it's down right the worst costume Spoony wore. Seriously look at this fucking thing. It looks absolutely nothing like General Katana. The biggest travesty is that Spoony didn't even make this costume and credits The Game Heroes for donating it. Let's hope 8-Bit Mickey was fucking with Spoony and lied that it was a legitimate costume.
To be fair, Spoony can only be held partially responsible for creating this character. He originally used this character as a cameo in Doug Walker's review of Battlefield Earth, but it has since been adopted into his own reviews. As you can probably guess, Terl is a character from the source material, so he's completely unoriginal. Terl combines Doug's cluelessness with Spoony's laziness to create something that fails twice as hard as what either of them normally produces.
It's about this part of the article we see that Spoony has finally veered into the Chris-chan world of creativity. A land where copyright is for faggots and if you make it, you own it. No matter if someone else created it before you.
It turns out that in spite of hating Final Fantasy VIII to the extent of recording several hours of Let's Play in which he expresses his utter disgust of the game, Spoony owns an entire Squall Lionheart outfit, complete with gunblade and necklace emblem. Squall was a throwaway gag throughout his Final Fantasy VIII Let's Play, a series so devoid of lulz by the end, he had resorted to cosplaying to make with the funnies. Didn't work, but you can't blame him for trying.
Oh my fucking God, Spoony! Do you have any common sense? Wasting money and time on cosplaying existing characters to do some shitty skit contradicts any negative feelings you have for that game. Now you look like an even bigger fag for trying to get some one paragraph summary about the game across to the internet. Even your fucking lame excuse to not throw $100 on a replica of Tidus' sword is laughable, especially considering how much use you made out of your Squall gunblade after your FF8 review.
Chuckles The Fucking Jester(WTF!?)
Chuckles is yet another example of Spoony's lack of creativity and effort, a character
taken stolen from the Ultima series. You just feel embarrassed looking at this. Even for him... Spoony decided to use this character in order to completely shit on his fan base. Not the fan base who posts 24/7 on his forums and blindly agree with everything he says, because they're 12 and have no real responsibilities (like Spoony). This is towards the fan base that originally supported Spoony, before he became the self indulgent whore he is today. A fan base who may even be is for a fact contributing to this very article. Spoony makes satire about creative criticism towards his reviews while bringing up painful memories he had to endure. Good thing Spoony doesn't take shit from anyone (unless its a whore off crossover video) or he might actually learn to organize himself along with his workload and stop lying to everyone about what he's doing.
Spoony also had to force his brother Miles to wear part of the costume and smack him in the head with a rubber chicken. That must have been the most fun Miles had with his brother in a long time. Scarlett is also credited for doing the makeup on this costume. Best guess is that Spoony can't look into any mirror without it shattering on contact from his sheer ugliness.
Actually, Spoony said that it was Scarlett who smacked him with the rubber chicken. This further confirms that Spoony is totally whipped, and whatever trace of masculinity and individuality he once had has been put in time-out in favour of Ginger Porky's influence.
Burton the Robot
For moar information on Burton, see MST3K. As that's what Spoony fucking did himself!
- The site itself
- The ghetto Spoony established to contain all his wrestling related crap
- Spoony's twitter, offering a window into the depths of his mediocrity and newest shitfits
- The Spoony Diaries: a gateway to madness
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