Xat

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Xat's Terrible Logo.

Xat (formerly known as Xatech.com) is one of the most pathetic chat sites known to the internet. It's quite literally a flash-based IRC with added functionality for user avatars and removed functionality for user control. It's composed of 13-year-old boys, 12 year old girls, role-players, and fantards making it a prime target for trolls and drama. While so many people claim to hate xat, then come on it every single day, they really only use it due to being biologically fused to the tubes.


The Users

How to become a moderator and help everyone

Every one of Xat's users falls into one of these categories. No exceptions

  • Mods/Owners - Quick to ban, and all think their shitty text box is the greatest thing to happen to the internet since AOL. Even more ban happy than ED Mods, and twice as retarded, you WILL get banned for spreading lulz, having an opinion, disliking their musical tastes, or CAPS LOCK, but don't worry. There's no way to permanently remove a user from a xat, so you can still troll from your banned position. You can add users to your friend's list, go to another xat, and then message them from there. It will look and act as if you were bypassing the ban, and the mods will shit themselves when they can't shut you up.
  • 12-year-olds - They usually are only around to beg for xats (the money) or modship. You can help them out by telling them you can double powers, hack main for xats, or simply just troll them till they cry.
  • Furries - These should be trolled to death in the usual fashion. Tell them foxes are gay and their fursona is unoriginal, or casually mention that they like to fuck animals.
  • Emofags - See if you can get them to an hero. Remember, kids, it's down the road, not across the street!
  • Girls - Probably the rarest since there are no girls on the internet, just accuse them all of being men. If they are, call them fags, if they aren't, goad them into showing tits.
  • Weeaboos - Tell them anime is a cartoon for manchildren. Tell them their favorite anime, which is ALWAYS in their avatar (or is Avatar) sucks and was poorly written and predictable, and tell them their favorite character, which is ALWAYS in their avatar (or is Avatar) was a whiney bitch.
  • Role-players - If they don't allow cyber, softcore cyber and say you're just being friendly. If they ARE cybering, PUT ON YOUR ROBE AND WIZARD HAT.
  • Vampire goth catgirls or some variation thereof - Yes this is actually a recurring thing.
  • Pengfags - Stupid kids that come from a wretched game called Club Penguin and then hang out on the local Pengfag army chats. (ARMIES LOL!).
  • Helpfags - Filthy rats that hang out in the local sewers (Help chat), they are extremely self-entitled and are normally 12 - 18 year olds that try to look professional and gargle the owners' cock in order to be a Volunteer/Mod. Just pretend to be really stupid and waste their time, don't even bother provoking them because they'll just ban you like the pussies they are. They're also known for inspecting promoted chats to see if anyone's broken the pathetic promotion rules, if they have then the lil faggots snitch on you and get your chat banned.
  • AFKfags - Very common type of user, they're mostly fat fucking lazy fags that can't reach their keyboard so they sit and be Away From Keyboard all day, or they're too scared to type because of a traumatic past being cyber bullied, so they just sit and watch and waste their pathetic life away.
  • White Knights - Quite common on xat, in order to survive they need to super glue their mouths to the anus's of sluts that get bullied for spreading their N00dz, girls that happen to be a moderator/owner, and sometimes even their own friends that are getting trolled or abused so the White Knight proceeds to shield him/her (mostly him) and get in the fucking way. Chances are you'll end up facing multiple White Knights rather than the 1 person you expected to face, just fucking ignore them and carry on your rampage on the stupid girl/boy.

Powers

One day, long long ago, Xatech thought it would be a good idea to make a little money from the userbase by adding powers. The ironic twist, is that the 12-year-olds that make up their userbase actually manage to scam their parents into buying this shit. By sending the Jews in charge money, you can: change your user's pawn color, add color to your name, get new smilies and force users to play minigames when banned. They actually have a power called Purple. It costs 200 dollars, and has been available since Xat started to sell powers. The best part about it all is when you buy powers, you're also given an allotted amount of days you can use your powers. If you run out of days, you forfeit the ability to do anything you paid to do until you give Xat more money, with which you can buy more powers, and make it even more critical you re-subscribe when you run out of days.

The Chat

They are usually just a chat box with a crappy backround image that is either a default or Google image. Most of them are a pure piece of crap since they are made by users.

User Ranks

Each of the user in chat have a colored shitpile next to their names which signifies certain ranks.

  • Guest (Green): Serve no purpose except to annoy the crap out of owners so they can become members.
  • Member (Blue): Everybody's bitch.
  • Offline (Red): A user who is offline (but more usual is that he is using a sockpuppet).
  • Banned (Brown): This person was either b& for annoying the mods or a test subject for bored mods. Major butthurt and lulz usually results.
  • Ignored (Gray): If you wanna be a big baby because this person is irritating you, just ignore him. See: Trolls trolling trolls.
  • Mod (White): They sucked enough dick to be promoted to the banhammer. They will have a 24/7 online time and think they are special. Since they are bitches with banhammers, their bans only last 6 hours.
  • Owner/Main (Gold): Normally a 2-minutes oldfag that will explain why is he kewler than anybody else in the chatroom meanwhile he expects to be buttlicked. The main owners are mostly hypocritical assholes that make it seem like the rules don't apply to them, they'll probably just rage-ban you or sit and watch their warriors cuss you out.
  • Xatfag (Purple): Idiots who have donated to Xat just for getting "OMG SPECIAL THINGIES". (See, Powers)

Trolling Xat

A decent start

Probably the only good part about the entire website, a new troll on the internet can practice and hone his skills easily on Xat. A number of techniques exist for proven results including:

  • Starting petty drama in new Xats with known users and whining to the chat's mod. It would help to photoshop images of them calling you a nigger.
  • Purposely get banned. When you do, you'll have an option to report unfair ban, but all this does is send an email to the main owner's inbox. Copy the URL it sends you to, send goatse, rinse, repeat.
  • For people who know the html exploit, go to chrome, inspect the html popup box for reporting the unfair ban, and once you copy the source, paste again into the webpage and send moar complaints. rinse, repeat
  • Bring another friend in and start a pointless staged argument, then proceed to have a contest of who can ban the other one.
  • Since you don't have friends, pretend to be your own. You can right click on a the flash window, go to settings, then click the file. From here, change the flash persistent storage limit to 0, save and ignore the warnings and open the same xat in a new window. You'll come in as a new user and can proceed to troll the shit out of yourself. WARNING: If you get banned on one user, and leave on the other, when you come back that user will be banned too. You can exploit this, however, to say that your sockpuppet said he was going to hack you when he got banned and make you banned instead, then crying when you get banned.
  • Correct grammar: Making idiots look like idiots is always a good idea for some quick, cheap lulz. On the other hand, if you're in a group with people who use proper English, TXT speak.
  • Hacking: It's no secret that Xat's security is an absolute joke. Even Xat wants you to hack them. If you're too lazy and can't be assed to do this, try linking the lower-level users to that site and try to start a hostile overthrow of the xat.
  • Since xatfags are irl newfags, most of them haven't seen the glory of Goatse. You can find things to expand their horizons here.
  • Find a particularly opinionated contributor, copy their username, spend 30 seconds on tineye looking for their picture or just copy it with print screen, and contradict everything they say to spark confusion and drama. If you're feeling malicious, you may be pleased to know mods have no way of differentiating between users and often take the risk of banning the wrong user if there are two of you, so you can laugh to yourself, thinking of the victim's reaction.
  • Constantly change your identity, and use subtly offensive names, such as: 'Fun with the klan'. Always using the same name will, if you persist, give you a sort of online identity and if people remember you, this compromises your subtlety from the start which obviously takes away your best weapon. Also, try use a specific sort of style and change your name every chat you visit. This makes them debate amongst themselves as to whether or not you are X or Y using a different name, causing confusion.
  • If you're looking to offend by using swears in your name or posts, avoid the use of canon swears such as 'Fuck' or 'Shit'. Not only will this get you banned before you get started, but their common usage in recent times on the internet has made them somewhat trendy to use, meaning they also have pretty much lost any ability to offend they may once have had. Even using the word 'Nigga' on some chats is almost commonplace, now. There are a fair amount of girl users (Its blasphemy you speak), so 'Cunt' may be one to consider. Using 'Coon' is more effective than 'Nigger' since it implies genuine intent to be racist as opposed to trying to turn the whole thing into a joke. Try to use 1337 5p34k, so the 'rapid ban' function used in most chats doesn't immediately rape you with its automatic cock.
  • Casually ask a mod how much cock they had to suck to become a mod. For bonus points, ask them if they are proud of being a moderator of a chat site that nobody cares about. This will really get under their skin, as believe it or not, for 95% of them, becoming a moderator on Xat was their greatest achievement.
  • Go to Help chat and ask dumb questions like "how to change your name" or "how to get powers whilst unregistered", if they are foolish enough to believe you and attempt to help you, just say "it's not working!!!! plz help", this will really start to irritate them. Don't try to look too dumb or else they'll think you're trolling and will end up shoving the banhammer up your ass.

The Trolling Chart

If you're one of the group of highly- esteemed individuals who have a less-than-average content of life, or just a gay asshole who likes to fuck his mother, you may want to try to go for the high score in trolling xat. After an hour, look at the amount of times any of the following have happened during that hour in a xat chat. Then, add up the score.

The score chart can be viewed here:


- Get an angry response (+1 point)

- Get a caps-locked angry response (+2 points)

- Confuse someone by using verbose (+1 point)

- Piss someone off by using correct spelling and proper grammar (+3 points)

- Get Banned (-5 points)

- Get Banned, unban yourself and then confuse/ alarm the mods (+10 points)

- Get a group of other users to collectively think you are a douchebag and then constantly spam insults and mockery at you (-10 points)

- Get a group of other users to try to mock you, then get under their skin and make them all look like retards, causing massive chaos throughout the chat room (+20 points)

- Get a smartass message about how you're clearly retarded and compensating for it by using verbose (+2 points)

- Get a smartass message about how you're clearly retarded and compensating for it by using proper English and spelling six letter words correctly, making himself look like a retard (+4 points)

- Get said smartass to try and start a pointless debate with you about the difference between being clever and spelling correctly (+5 points)

- Get a 12 year old's idea of an 'insult' or 'comeback' directed at you (+1 point)

- Respond to this in a condescending manner and piss off the 12 year old (+2 points)

- Confuse the 12 year old using verbose (+3 points)

- Respond using verbose and get a reply explaining how you clearly 'Googled the entire paragraph' you just wrote (+3 points)

- Reply to this with some shit like: Yes, I did. Also, I must say how useful I find the new 'Google: Generate a long, sophisticatedly- written response appropriate to a specific comment, all within ten seconds' to be. and piss him off (+5 points)

- Make the whole chat cry and scream that they're leaving (+30 points)

- Confuse someone in any way (+1 point)

- Get a message that reads: 'What?', 'What', 'Wat' or '?' (+1 point)

-Cause a ragequit (+10 points)

- Cause the whole community to either be confused by you or scream at you to shut up and scream at the mods to ban you (+20 points)

- Piss off the mods and get them to constantly 'kick' or 'zap' you whilst arguing amongst themselves about how much of an asshole you are (+20 points)

- Piss off a mod and undermine him in front of everybody because of some retarded bullshit such as 'using a slightly offensive screenname' (+5 points; note that they usually ban you for threatening their high opinion of themselves, so this score will likely be negated)

- Fail and make yourself look like a dumbass (-5 points)

- Have someone respond to this by humiliating you and turning you into a laughingstock (-10 points)

- Get an entire community full of retards into a flame war amongst themselves and scare the mods (+25 points)

- Get an entire community full of retards who think they're clever into a pointless philsophical debate amongst themselves and scare the mods (+30 points)

- Cause somebody to think that your trolling makes you funny and try to become your e-friend, reducing your capability to cause shit (-3 points)

- Disgust someone (+1 point)

- Creep someone out and have them on edge for the rest of the time that you're there (+3 points)

- Impersonate someone and get the whole chat to think that the user you're impersonating is stupid (+3 points)

- Get the user you've impersonated into a rage or make them cry (+3 points)

- Get the user you've impersonated banned and then piss off the mods by informing them how stupid they are for banning the wrong user (+10 points)

-Impersonate someone and get their e-friends to believe that they are genuinely about to either commit suicide or overdose or some dramatic bullshit, then log out and see them all panic (+10 points)

- Do this on a chat where the user is particularly well- known and popular (+20 points)

- Actually cause someone to kill themselves (+50 points, though not recommended as you will most likely a. not find out about this for a while and b. get V&)

- Get an angry threat from someone telling you about how they're going to copy your I.P. and hack your computer (+3 points)

- Prove them wrong or condescend them for this in front of all their e-pals (+5 points)

- Convince an owner to make you a moderator and ban people for 'offences' such as: 'Being non-aryan' or 'Grammatical Carelessness' (+5 points)

- Cause confusion by convincing people that these 'offences' are actual rules of the chat group (+10 points)

- Have someone accuse you of being a 'Nerd' or a 'Grammar Nazi' by correcting bad spelling and/or grammar (+1 point)

- Get the mods to argue with someone for trying to argue with you (+5 points)

- The person gets banned for arguing with the mods (+7 points)

- Get somebody to get their parents to send you an angry, patronizing message (+3 points)

- Humiliate or further piss off the parent by sending them a smartass reply (+5 points)

- Get arrested for some of the shit you have caused (-20 points)

- Get arrested and piss off the authorities by using confusing arguments against your arrest (+10 points AND a beating + more chance of being found guilty and send to prison!)

TOP TIP: You could actually just troll the chat by deliberately looking like a fail troll, then when everyone laughs at you and thinks you're a joke (which you are), suddenly drop the act and shock everyone by either out-smarting them or simply saying "Hahaha, you actually thought I was a complete dumbass? You gullible fools!" then sit and watch as they leave or go on hush-mode.


Add up your total. If, in one hour, your score was:

- 50+ points: A winrar is you

- 40-50 points: You are a decent troll

- 30-40 points: You're an average troll

- 20-30 points: You're getting started out as a troll

- 10-20 points: Trolling isn't really for you

- Less than 10 points: Seriously get a life or kill yourself; if you're going to be a loser who spends his entire life on the internet, you might as well be good at it.

Exploits

Terrible and Trollable chats.