View source for Zets coony


{{lj|zets_coony}} is a [[homosexual]] [[Canadian]] [[furry]] who is unfamiliar with [[spell check]]. 

{{lj|zets_coony}} is a major source of [[lulz]], like most [[furries]]. If you can brave through the [[cockgobbler|cockgobbler']]s LJ, replete with more exclamation points than all of the [[Pokemon]] games in their entirety, you will find that Zets is convinced he actually [[srsly]] is an animal person that has [[sex]] with other animal people. [[Some_argue|some argue]] that any sex actually occurs [[IRL]] between furries, because they would all discover that not only was each lying to the other about being a [[trap|fox girl]] or [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091064/ the Fly], but that both were in fact [[fat|secretly fat]]. As sex implies the ability to breed, and as we all know, furries are all gay anyways and reproduce by spawning from the aftermath of [[buttsex]].
[[Image:Together.jpg|frame|right|{{lj|zets_coony}} (Raccoon [[gay|limpwrister]] on left) & {{lj|ral_jiktar}} (lizard boy on the right) showing off their [[furry]] love.]]
Being a raccoon boy, {{lj|zets_coony}} has caused some controversy in the [[furry]] world by becoming the [[cyber|mate]] of a lizard boy. Apparently people whose imaginary buttsex avatars possess differing genus is some severe [[serious_business|serious biz]] in the fandom. He [[emo|expands upon these feelings]] in an [[LJ]] entry titled [http://zets-coony.livejournal.com/55846.html?view=52518 I so love my mate..(If you hate hapines dont read this)] (Note: "hapines" are thought to be like the atomic particles of [[rape]] or something.)

Some excerpts:

<blockquote>Almost no one in the world could forgive me for all the things that I did that hurted [my boyfriend] and yet he never scream at me for my stupid actions.</blockquote>

As a [[furry]] case study, {{lj|zets_coony}} is <s>particularly interesting</s> completely [[lie|normal]] because he seems to have "gone native." Upon observing his writing, it appears to the casual reader that he is communicating with some form of [[Engrish]]. Any [[Internets]] veteran, however, could tell instantly that this writing style is unlike any form of [[Engrish]] previously observed. [[Scientific]] studies clearly indicate, however, that this is actually his English skills devolving into a guttural animal/human hybrid form of speech. This is one of the lesser known symptoms of being a [[furry]], as it is largely overshadowed by the more obvious symptom of becoming a fucking [[homosexual|fag]]. It is also theorized that, being a raccoon boy, he probably eats out of the trash. This fits well with the [[furry]] lifestyle, as most [[furries]] are shit poor fucktards because they spent all their money on buying a [[fursuit]], and have to eat out of dumpsters anyway. All in all this devolution of language is fucking amazing, since he claims to be an employed and utilized guidance counselor. 

Also of note, his [[cyber|ex-mate]], a lizard boy, seems to have taken on the even-tempered characteristics of an actual cold-blooded animal; any normal human would [[domestic violence|slap]] his [[bitch]] for spouting such incoherent [[bullshit]]. Of course, it is an error to think of any [[furry]] as normal, so this point is moot.

He goes on to list the positive traits of his lizard boy ex:

<blockquote>And I know that I am lucky because some people that says that have solid realationships sometimes yell to there partners about mistakes that they do sometime for money sometimes for school and even sometimes because they faild something at school..</blockquote> 

This is obviously very important in a [[cyber|mate]] for {{lj|zets_coony}}, as he has clearly "faild ... at school."

<blockquote>The rest is now to the readers witch recently I found is consist of more people that I could imagine do to Second Life.</blockquote>

A careful translation of this furry-speak leads to the revelation that not only is {{lj|zets_coony}} a [[furry]], but that he is an avid [[Second Life]] player. [[MMORPG|Such activities]] on their own are usually enough to classify an individual as [[Asperger's|a real fucking winner]], but paired with being a furry, the individual is able to reach untold heights of [[gay|faggotry]]. It is also particularly [[ironic]], in that playing [[Second Life]] implies that the individual in fact had a [[IRL|First Life]], which is not the case with a [[furry]] [[MMORPG]] player.

<blockquote>stuff that I reasently told him that if it would get known to the law it could bring me in jail. I did not commit a murder or anithing but the thing that I did are considered as imoral and a crime againts...(something) I wont tell more here.</blockquote>

Here {{lj|zets_coony}} (not so) subtly confesses to actually engaging in [[bestiality]]. There isn't really much else to say, except to note that for [[furries]], [[bestiality]] isn't [[animal abuse]] so much as it is just normal, run-of-the-mill [[surprise sex]] with a furry friend. 

<blockquote>You and I are as everyone told us the most ODD couple ever and even at the furry form it is ODD as most lizards stand at been whit scalies and that the mixt of a Raccoon and Lizard seam kite ODD.</blockquote>

Even his lizard boy ex regularly [http://capitalfurs.myfreeforum.org/sutra8631.php#8631 points out] his bestiality tenancies, as such behaviour is considered laudable in [[furry]] [[Polyamory|relationships]].

<blockquote>He claims to take courses to help you, yet he can’t even help himself and his way to cope with trouble is hide it. Hey Zets have you mentioned to your clients about that time you masturbated that dog. Or what about you cheated on your boyfriend wile he was passed out drunk in the same room.</blockquote>

Even his [[Fag|ex-mate]] has the common sense to encourage all [[furries]] to become [[anhero|an hero]], Zets insists on encouraging all furries to continue their pathetic existence using heaping piled of [[bullshit]] 

Here {{lj|zets_coony}} reflects upon how odd it is for a lizard to mate with a raccoon. While displaying a fairly surprising amount of accuracy in such a statement, he neglects to mention that THEY ARE BOTH ACTUALLY FUCKING PEOPLE [[IRL]] [[OMGWTFBBQ]][[Oneoneone|!!!11ONEONEELEVEN]]. But that's okay, even Zets knew this combination was odd from the get-go, as it was found he'd been cheating on his lizard butt-buddy since the second week or some shit into the relationship. Awesome. 

Like most [[furries]], he is desperate for (real) human contact as he lives alone in a basement. [http://zets-coony.livejournal.com/54130.html He has requested that someone, anyone, call him] so he has someone to talk to. "Its just open to anyone." We have yet to discern if that statement is about his journal or his ass.

Even now, after Zets moved on to his next [[victim|mate]], a [[homosexual|fag]] wolf [[furry]] who shares his life-long dream of living in the damp confines of his parent's basement having [[buttsex]], other [[furries]] insist on touting his supposedly positive attributes by showing how he's a [[victim]] and completely [http://capitalfurs.myfreeforum.org/sutra8639.php#8639 without blame] and [http://capitalfurs.myfreeforum.org/sutra8643.php#8643 perfect]

Zets also never shuts the goddamn fuck up about his TTLY AMAZING [[Fursuit|FURSUIT]], and so successfully drives away anyone who might have a vague inclination to speak to him. Remember guys, fursuits, raccoons fucking lizards and wolves, and exclamation points are all serious business.  

{{furfaggotry}}
[[Category:Furries]]